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Health anxiety caused by loss of mother/father

D

dc86uk

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 2, 2019
Messages
63
Location
Cardiff
Hello all,

I hope this message finds you all safe and well.

As some of you may know, I wrote recently of my mums health issues and some worrying scan results. Within a 5 week period we had an anomaly on her CT scan to her passing away from a rare and aggressive form of bile duct cancer. We are all devastated to say the least.

However, one thing I have noticed since is how my health anxiety has gone off the charts. Both my mother and father have passed away from cancer and now being 34 I find myself alone. My friend passed away from cancer last year also. I find myself literally every day/night poking and proding my body looking for lumps and bumps and when I find them (as invariably you do because that's just our bodies) I go into panic mode thinking I have found cancer. For example, recently on the left side of my tummy/abdomen I have had a little bit of discomfort, immediately I have told myself this is bowel cancer like my father had and my time is up... I hate the cycle. Since my mum passed 4 weeks ago I have had cancer of lungs, throat, bladder, liver, kidney, bone and now this... (not really but you get my point)

Has anyone else or does anyone else go through this? A close person to you has a health problem and you immediately have that problem regardless of common sense?

Thanks for your time.

Dave
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,169
Location
England
Hello. I remember the sad loss of your mum. I think your worries about cancer are understandable after all you have been through. Having loved ones pass from cancer will make us fear having cancer ourselves. What I would suggest is to see a therapist. Health anxiety is a very distressing condition and therapy can help with coping methods. I also feel you must be grieving and therapy would help with that too.
 
Ineedhelp2921

Ineedhelp2921

Active member
Joined
Nov 11, 2018
Messages
26
Hey,

I am so so sorry for your loss and what you have been through. I'm also in awe of how strong you are, to go through so much in such a short time.
It is understandable to be worried. But I do think it's a good thing that you checking for lumps and bumps. Maybe schedule regular doctor appointments and keep notes on your health.
I would highly recommend seeing a therapist, as this is a constant thought, especially with what you have been through anyway, I think you could really benefit by talking to a professional.

One day at a time. Enjoy the simple things in life, take walks, treat yourself, eat your favorite foods, do that thing you've always wanted to do. Be your own best friend.

Your question:
I always think that I have a brain tumor, no one in my family has had one. But I have been experiencing odd symptoms over the years which honestly could be my anxiety or just having an off day. I don't know where this idea came from. Ive been finding out more about my family members' mental health. Depression, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders. It has helped me understand that my mental illness is just something that is apart of me. And it is getting easier to accept.
 
P

Purpleplum

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Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
1,171
Location
nowhere
I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I think we all do that to some extent after someone else gets sick or dies. It reminds us of our own mortality.

Maybe you could get screenings for diseases to put you more at ease. Or you could get genetic testing. It will show if your body is prone to any illnesses and, if so, you can head them off early.
 
D

dc86uk

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 2, 2019
Messages
63
Location
Cardiff
Thank you all for your messages offering thoughts and advice during this time. It really means a lot. My head is a complete mess at the moment, not just with my standard anxiety issues but also now this. Once I get back to work and earning some money I am going to start visiting my councillor again for skype sessions to talk this through. It is a lot to take in and especially being that I work away. I am pretty much on my own so could do with the support.

Dave
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,169
Location
England
There is also free counselling through the NHS but I think there will be a waiting list. It is really hard to go through this alone. It is such a lot to take in.
 
L

Laudanum

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
578
Location
Surrey
My own parents' deaths coincided with peaks in my own health anxiety.
 
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