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He says I am damaging the kids ?

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shell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
175
Location
Lincolnshire
Something really minor happened tonight and my husband says I'm damaging the kids. Basically my son was annoying the dog the dog started growling so I said i would get rid of the dog. Then my husband said i'm physcologically damaging the kids. I feel totally sucicidal now. I have felt bad all day but his comments don't help. I can't stop crying now and thinking they would be better off without me . I'm so hurt and upset.
 
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warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
Whaaattt?! no no no sweet please don't worry about that. That's the sort of off-hand comment most parents say! My mum actually did get rid of my puppy after we'd had him a while - that's psychologically damaging! Please don't let this get to you anymore. YOu are a cracking mum, I remember from past posts. I hate that kind of tit for tat stuff it seems to be happening more and more with me and my partner and our daughter at the mo. I'm trying to do what's right and take a step back, but he keeps taking that one step forward and I wish he could keep his comments to himself at times as he does and should know by now how it affects me. /i sometimes feel so weak that I don't stand up to him, but then I know sometimes it is just me, it makes it very hard to know what is right, and that's why those sort of comments can be damaging to you. as we can doubt ourselves a lot more than we need to. Please dont doubt yourself - I'm sure the kids have forgotten and are now tucked up and will have a huge hug for you in the morning regardles of what you said in jest about the dog. xxx
 
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mickeymoo

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2010
Messages
427
Please don't worry. I tell my daughter most days I'll get rid of her dog if she pesters it. Is it your ex husband or are you still together?
 
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shell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
175
Location
Lincolnshire
We are still together and married. He just seems to nit pick really. My daughter was going to a friend for a sleepover and I bought them some sweets. Again I had done the wrong thing he started saying they have the dentist next week do you want them to have their teeth pulled out blah blah blah. Again I got really wound up!!!!! The kids go to the dentist regularly and there teeth are fine no fillings. He just seems to know what to do to wind me up :( .
 
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warriorprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2010
Messages
1,306
Location
Cool St, Coolville
Hey that's not very helpful eh! has he always been like it tho? Is he particularly stressed himself at the mo? I know it doesn't help him stop saying things that hurt or wind you up but in all honesty he's probably not saying it just to make you feel bad, he maybe has no idea. I know tho with my partner he can be so supportive at times, and does put up with a lot, but there are still those times he seems to forget I'm ill and will say some pretty hurtful things. I guess I just mean we're all human. have you tried telling him how it makes you feel inside? and aside from that, he sounds quite anal about stuff - kids eat sweets!! as long as you're not the 'kind' of mum who's serving them up for breakfast lunch and dinner (to that affect) the occasional treat is a very important part of growing up!! Does your hubby have any kind of issues mentally? Maybe it's his upbringing. Hope you're well sweet, and you still sound like an amazing mum so don't let him make you doubt yourself.
xx
 
kate9090

kate9090

Well-known member
Joined
May 6, 2010
Messages
179
wow, i would classify u in the "normal parent" category with that story :)
my mom is similar and i respect her for it, there's only so much anyone can handle...

go watch a feel-good ;)
 
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TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
hope you are ok just read your post now sorry about that. i have read your posts before and you sound like a really good mum. dont beat yourself up. men are so insensitive at times. (sorry men) have you made up yuet
 
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Rjack

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
11
Sometimes I feel like a crap Dad. I love my little girl more than I ever thought I could. But there has been a couple of times I have let her down. I then beat myself up about it and take it out on my other half. Only in the form of a grunt or a sulky look. What I probably need is a hug but I go about it all the wrong way. You sound nice. Just to be concerned means you are thinking the right thoughts. You certainly aren't damaging your children.
 
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Blackholesun

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2010
Messages
80
My daughter was going to a friend for a sleepover and I bought them some sweets. Again I had done the wrong thing he started saying they have the dentist next week do you want them to have their teeth pulled out blah blah blah.
He sounds like a right bloody barrel of laughs.
 
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