• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

he owns me

Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
I wish there was an easy way for you to mentally detach yourself from this control :hug:
You're not property, you belong to you. It isn't fair that he holds this power. X
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
Is there any chance of some talking therapy specifically aimed at this one issue? Get some professional help in being able to remove his control from your life. I wish I could help x
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
Would you be able to cut him out of your life for good? X
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,892
Location
England
Hi Lu
He really doesn't own you, I know you must be scared
We are here for you if you want to talk more
Take care
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,753
I'm here to help you xx I love you xx
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,248
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
Would you be able to cut him out of your life for good? X
I did for over 6 years ,me and mummy left him and then she died I stayed away from him but then my sister was sectioned and I got back in touch with him
I really wish I hadn't now
I could block him
what is really worrying me is him maybe moving back to near where I live he wouldn't leave me alone x
he shouts at me when I am on the phone talking to somebody else and it really upsets me x
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,753
If you want to block him you can xx
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
I did for over 6 years ,me and mummy left him and then she died I stayed away from him but then my sister was sectioned and I got back in touch with him
I really wish I hadn't now
I could block him
what is really worrying me is him maybe moving back to near where I live he wouldn't leave me alone x
he shouts at me when I am on the phone talking to somebody else and it really upsets me x
I can understand why you got back in touch, but if it was a mistake then you are within your rights to cut him straight back out again. He is bad for your health. He doesn't own you, he is a coward that controls women with nasty behaviour. I would be inclined to cut him right out, even pretend he's gone for good. Hold a kind of memorial, say all the things you wanted to say, then say goodbye (not directly) and cut him off. Symbolically kill off his power.

Is it likely that he would be bothered to move house?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,248
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
I don't think he would move back but he lives in a private flat and if the owner wanted it back he would have to move and then might move back to where I live xx
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,753
Then you could block him and if he sent a letter then you could just return it and get your aunt to write on it no longer at this address ? Does that sound like a good idea ? Xx
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
I don't think he would move back but he lives in a private flat and if the owner wanted it back he would have to move and then might move back to where I live xx
I know it's easier said than done, but if it's unlikely then it's not worth worrying about :hug: If it ever did happen there would be ways of making sure he stayed away from you. We are all on your side, I know lots of people here would try and help :hug:
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,919
Location
hiding behind the sofa
When I was going thru a similar thing with my mum I was told to write down all my negative feelings about her and then take it outside and burn it and let the ashes blow away. Believe me it does help.
I also did a similar thing about my dad but this time it was all positive . I loved him probably as much as you loved your mummy. I’ve kept that letter and occasionally I look at it and smile with fondness.
 
Top