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he is annoying me

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detectivelil

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Feb 23, 2012
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112
I dont know if my feelings are at the front of my mind due to stress, or not.
I have had a bad stressful time recently and its made me question my relationship.

I dont live with him, and i have children of my own. When he comes to my house - im dealing with a child again.
He really annoys me. I want adult time, and we can lay down and watch a film and then all of a sudden i have a hand in my face. Funny, yeah...maybe once. He will repeatedly do this. I will tell him to stop, and say thats enough now and he still wont stop!
With my kids, when theyre playing - if one of them says stop i tell them "when someone says stop, it means stop!" my bf has heard me saying this many times and i find my kids listen more than he does! He wants to play fight all of the time and again, does not listen when i say stop. He is forever doing things to deliberately annoy me and then gets frustrated and annoyed at me when i have to snap in order for him to stop! Im all for messing about, and i can have a laugh - but a hand being put in my face repeatedly for 20 minutes is fucking irritating.
He is in his 30s, its not like he is a teenager.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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I know it must be very frustrating, irritating and annoying. But try your best not to lose your cool. Be calm and assertive. Tell him that you don't appreciate having his hand on your face. You like a good laugh but won't tolerate constantly having a hand on your face. If he doesn't back down/understand then perhaps take his hand off your face and walk away into another room? or have some serious words with him about it but don't lose your cool ok. Easier said than done but it will only make things worse.

All the best :hug1:
 
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detectivelil

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Feb 23, 2012
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112
Thank you all. Its good to see its not just me that would find it annoying.
I dont lose it, lose it with him. I will just be frustrated/firm.
That is after asking him nicely, changing my tone etc.

I have tried talking with him and explaining that it is annoying. that i wouldnt mind him doing it if he would just stop when asked.
I just get told im miserable and he gets hung up on me saying he is annoying. I have to say "i mean your behaviour is annoying, not you". He is well aware of what he is doing but for some reason, like a child, pretends he doesnt have any clue why im annoyed! which is frustrating in itself
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Does he have any mental health problems? It's strange how he doesn't quite understand the effect his actions are having on you.
 
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detectivelil

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Feb 23, 2012
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112
No, none that i am aware of anyway. He does the same to people at his work. He tells me things and he just sounds like a bully, and i tell him this. He says they had a choice - they could do what he said and he would stop, or they would suffer the consequences which could be anything from wrestling moves to a full blown bite.
He has broken his brothers skin before. It was disgusting.
He makes 'slap bets' with me. Or tries. If i win, i get to hit him - if he wins,he hits me. If i refuse to take the bet, he gets a free slap (all his rules to where i can not win) - he has slapped my arse that hard it has had his hand print raised (welted i think) within seconds! I do not want to play slap bets!
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Gosh, no wonder your so annoyed, etc. How long has all this been going on for?
 
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Deliah

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He sounds a very difficult person who is entirely unaware of himself. I would question whether he is someone you really want in your life. Sounds like he is quite happy doing what he does. Well done for asserting yourself in this very annoying situation. D x
 
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detectivelil

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Feb 23, 2012
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Thank you deliah. I really am questioning that right now.
Anime-alchemy - it has been going on for over a year now.
Ive tried all sorts to try and stop this.

I disagreed with something he said lastnight and he grabbed my toes, saying he would crack them if i didnt retract what i said. I didnt change what i said and i repeatedly told him to get off me - at which point, he said he cant believe how angry i am getting!
 
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UMPALUMPA

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Dump his Arse and get a new boy freind.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sounds like he is borderline abusive to me (no insult to those with BPD). Just get rid and find someone better.
 
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UMPALUMPA

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Sounds like he is borderline abusive to me (no insult to those with BPD). Just get rid and find someone better.

BPD how very dare yooo! :rofl2:
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hmmm I think it's best you leave him. If it's been going on for a year plus add to that the way he is, I really think for your well being and sanity, you should leave. I feel sorry for him but more importantly than that, I'm concerned for you and your well being. Your the victim and I always put the victim first (naturally).

If I was you, I would seriously consider leaving him.
 
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detectivelil

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Feb 23, 2012
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I am considering it. I just find it difficult as he manages to make out that im just not fun,im miserable, i cant have a laugh - and because he finds these things funny, and i am the one getting angry and frustrated, it makes me feel that maybe i am the problem. I hope that makes sense!

I have noticed other areas in the relationship that could be classed as controlling, which could also be pointing towards his behaviour being abusive. Along with the feelings of myself i described before! I am aware of this, yet part of me still wonders if i can have more of the adult, nice version i do get of him from time to time << typical, i know.
I will give it another month and see if anything can be done. If not, then i will have to leave for my own well being.
Thank yous for your help x
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hmm well you know the relationship best. Do what you have to and I hope whatever happens, things will work out for you. Take care.
 
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