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having some issues

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smith999

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2010
Messages
1
this is going to be rather long post but i'm extremely confused and need some help.. i recently posted this thread on another depression forum..

I'm 17 and in college studying 4 days a week.
One minute i get these terrible downs and i feel, worthless and i want to kill myself. but next moment i want and think i cant change the world. At 16 i made stupid plans to try for a baby and get married which luckily i didn't follow through as the next i feel there's nothing for me in life and don't want to carry on. one moment i hate everyone and don't feel loved the next moment i want everyone to like me and be proud of me. i sometimes wander if anyone would care if i killed myself, but i stop myself because i know the bad feeling wont last forever and i like the feeling of thinking i can change the world. I won't want to go out of the house or my bed all day and don't want to see anyone or do anything, then other times i walk to town just to be polite to people and open doors for people. i often get on busses just to give my seat up, i want people to remember me for being polite. I'd prefer to be one mood not just weird up and downs. I went to the doctor but she said 'Its not depression because your not down all the time so think yourself lucky it hasn't gone that far'' so what on earth is it? whats wanting to die if it's not depression? someone please help

and recieved numourous repluies regarding bipolar disorder. my auntie suffered with this untill she committed suicide in 2008 but i was unaware of what this was and searched into the symptoms. i was shocked at how many things i had experienced and brought some light onto things i have done recently including thoughts of death, oversleeping, undersleeping, skipping college to get 3 tattoos i now regret, flipping in classes and getting aggressive at lecturers, fighting my view until the very end no matter who i embarrass or hurt, going into debt, spending other peoples money, extremely restless and excited for no apparent reason, switching from hate to love hate to love with my boyfriend and ended with my boyfriend about 10 times in the past year for no reason untill now he says he cant handle the way i act anymore.
I feel really lost and confused and scared at whats going on in my head.
however hard i try my heads so messed up with thoughts and feelings.
what can i do? where do i go from here? how do i move on? who do i talk to? what do i say?
sorry that was so long
 
K

Katie84

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
68
Location
Sheffield
I would go back to your GP and write down or if you feel up to it make them listen to all your symptoms, it took me ages to pluck up the strength to write all my symptoms and go back to the doctor and he then listened (im no good at talking) he then referred me to a pdoc.

Keep going back until they listen or try a different doctor in your surgery.

Good luck x
 
T

TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
hiya, sounds like you are having a pretty hard time. the only way to get help is to speak to the docs. try writing something down about the way you feel when down and how you feel when high. write down what you think you might have and explain about your auntie.

it is easier when it is all written down.

are you managing to keep up with you classes etc. tell the doc these kind of things too. x
 

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