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Having issues getting help, becoming desperate

D

dannyk

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2021
Messages
2
Location
dumbarton
Hi, just looking for a bit of advice as im sure people on here have a lot of experience dealing with the nhs and getting help for bulimia. here it goes ...

Iv suffered from it since i was 17 (im 35 now) and to be honest it was the only constant thing in my life and my only coping mechanism, right or wrong. the worst it would get would be everyday, at best twice a week.

2 years ago it became much worse, multiple times a day, excessive planned binges and purges that would turn into a whole day event and not just a meal. For a year it was the worst it had ever been and i began to have health problems, mainly dental and stomach issues. it took for my teeth starting to fall out and blood in my throat out from all the damage that i decided i had lost control and what i used as crutch was actually now killing me, and i got a gp appointment and told the gp on the phone everything which was a lot harder than i thought it was going to be as i could barely admit it to myself. I stupidly thought this is me on the road to recovery and i actually felt a little brighter knowing id made the first step and help will follow.

But thats where it got a bit strange.

My GP told me she had absolutely no experience in dealing with eating disorders and because its classed as a mental illness she will need to refer me to the local mental health crisis team but this can take a couple of months at best but with covid it would be even longer. It was a world wide pandemic i knew the score and decided iv waited this long to get help a few months is nothing.

1 month later i received a letter to say id been accepted onto the waiting list to be assessed by the local team.

3 months later i received another letter asking if i was still interested in seeing the mental health team and if i was call this number to let them know im still interested..

around 2 months later i was given a telephone appointment to be assessed by an mental health person, basically asking why id went to the gp and why i want to speak to them, went into great detail about my eating disorder etc and was told this was just an assessment and they will be in touch for the next steps, which would hopefully be getting accepted to speak to a professional.

received another letter saying id been accepted onto their waiting list, 3 months later i was finally given an appointment with a phycologist, was really pleased as during this time my eating disorder had become a beast and my mental health was the worst it had ever been, i had a breakdown at work and basically slide really bad into depression.

my phycologist was a lovely guy, was only doing video calls but i wasn't really getting help with the eating disorder, he was very into talking about trauma in my life and looking for the reasons why i purge and the emotional reasons behind it which was fair enough but going deep detail about childhood trauma and realising how abusive my parents where kinda came out of nowhere and i found it hard to deal with, i told him this and stated i really just want to get bulimia under control this why i asked for help and i feel like if i have other problems this one is more important to me.

He told me that my bulimia sounded like it was extreme and that id be better speaking to an eating disorder clinic and he wasnt quite sure why i wasn't refered there in the first place. he made the referal and i went in so he could get my weight as they requested it for the application and basically i was now in a holding pattern until they accept me and theres not much use us carrying on therapy, but to not leave me with nothing he would get crisis team involved to keep an eye on things as id told him how bad things were mentally and suicide was something id began to think about as i felt completely done.

Since then im still waiting on the eating disorder clinic getting in touch, the crisis team have been absolutely useless and im not being dramatic, its almost like they want me to kill myself. no contact, no call backs, being told the person is not taking phone calls, your crisis worker is on annual leave etc etc it cant be that bad you've lasted this long. Honestly terrible experience.

During the times iv been waiting in between on waiting lists my GP put me on prozac, i had to ask to be put on it because id read that was a medication for eating disorders, but was told anything else i should be dealing with community mental health and to go through them as im in their care.

I feel like im losing my mind, what am i doing wrong here ? my eating disorder is the worst its ever been, i cannot leave the house im a wreck most days, im paranoid about strange things and don't even bathe anymore which really isn't me. im struggling.

What can i do to speed up this process, iv been understanding, polite, patient but i am in a much worse situation now that was i was in before and im lost.
 
P

philthespark

Member
Joined
May 27, 2021
Messages
10
Location
uk
well you really are in a situation aren't you, but don't take it personally,sadly it's the way of the world at the moment, all this care in the community crap, the thing is the community by and large doesn't care, everyone has problems of their own to deal with.
Crisis teams, or Crisis Intervention Teams, to give them their proper title, are often worse than useless, yes I know they're probably understaffed but that doesn't help you does it, and to be honest some of the team members are useless too.
I remember one time I was going through a really bad patch and my wife rang the local crisis team, they said unless I was actively suicidal then I wasn't in crisis.
On the one occasion they did come out the actually made the situation worse, I used to drink a lot of Coke and had a glass on the table beside me, one saw it and whispered to the other that I was 'on the ale' as he put it. Hearing this really wound me up and an argument errupted after I insisted that they tasted the drink to see it was only Coke, if I wanted a drink I'd have one and to hell with everyone else!
What annoys me about the whole system is the way it works, or perhaps I should say, doesnt work, I remember going to a mental health unit 3 days on the run to get help, each day I was told that no psychiatrist was available to help me, finally on the 4th day I got annoyed and made a bit of a scene, nothing violent, just raised my voice a little and told them I didn't think it was right how they were treating me, then surprise surprise, a psychiatrist was available!
Before I saw him I asked one question, how was his english as I struggle with heavy accents, it doesn't matter if it's a foreign accent or even say a scottish or geordie accent, I do struggle. The woman went off and returned a few minutes later, 'the psychiatrist won't see you, because you're a racist bastard', those were her exact words!
I was so annoyed that I got up to leave, only to be told I couldn't, and there'd be trouble if I did. Not having been sectioned I got up and did leave only to arrive home and find out exactly what the 'trouble' would be. I hadn't been home more than 5 minutes when an armed response team arrived from the local police station, apparently I'd gone berserk in the hospital and threatened everyone with an axe!
After explaining the situation the cop was most annoyed, not with me, but with the hospital, apparently they did this sort of thing regularly, and him having to attend to my house on a 'fools errand' meant he wasn't able to attend a real emergency job somewhere else.
While 'care in the community' seems a wonderful idea sadly our communities are beset with their own problems, people have enough to worry about in their own lives without worrying about some stranger across the road. It's all very sad really how things have gone, and if you are unfortunate enough to have mental health issues you already know this. But for me one of the saddest things is when it all goes wrong and a life is lost, once again the old line is dragged out like an ancient song, 'well help is available, if only they'd asked' . The thing is we all know that help isn't available, well not when you need it, imagine ringing the fire service because your house was on fire only to be told that they'd be round a week next Friday, there'd be uproar! Yet as we all know, being told to wait months for a mental health appointment is often a case of waiting weeks or even months. I think of a mental health crisis as being like a house fire, it needs dealing with now, today, otherwise when they do get around to it several weeks or even months later, it may well be too late.
As regards the 'community mental health team' I often think that they, like a lot of services are target driven having worked in the NHS at one point I know a few things, like how they have certain targets at certain times and often GP's are paid to meet those targets, for example, this months 'special' may be performing health checks on over 50's males, now the NHS may pay that GP say £10 for every one he checks, whereas, he won't get anything for checking lets say, people for diabetes.
I remember a few months ago I was rang up by someone from the GP surgery telling me that it was time for my 'annual mental health wellbeing check', I politely enquired if this was the same check I haven't had for 4 years, 'yes well we are very busy you know', came the reply, more likely that doing those particular checks was this months 'special' and they were making money out of it.
I really don't know what the answer is to your problem, I wish I did, all I can say is keep ringing the doctors, hopefully they'll get someone to see you just to get you out of their hair, it's all you can do these days sadly.
 
D

dannyk

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2021
Messages
2
Location
dumbarton
well you really are in a situation aren't you, but don't take it personally,sadly it's the way of the world at the moment, all this care in the community crap, the thing is the community by and large doesn't care, everyone has problems of their own to deal with.
Crisis teams, or Crisis Intervention Teams, to give them their proper title, are often worse than useless, yes I know they're probably understaffed but that doesn't help you does it, and to be honest some of the team members are useless too.
I remember one time I was going through a really bad patch and my wife rang the local crisis team, they said unless I was actively suicidal then I wasn't in crisis.
On the one occasion they did come out the actually made the situation worse, I used to drink a lot of Coke and had a glass on the table beside me, one saw it and whispered to the other that I was 'on the ale' as he put it. Hearing this really wound me up and an argument errupted after I insisted that they tasted the drink to see it was only Coke, if I wanted a drink I'd have one and to hell with everyone else!
What annoys me about the whole system is the way it works, or perhaps I should say, doesnt work, I remember going to a mental health unit 3 days on the run to get help, each day I was told that no psychiatrist was available to help me, finally on the 4th day I got annoyed and made a bit of a scene, nothing violent, just raised my voice a little and told them I didn't think it was right how they were treating me, then surprise surprise, a psychiatrist was available!
Before I saw him I asked one question, how was his english as I struggle with heavy accents, it doesn't matter if it's a foreign accent or even say a scottish or geordie accent, I do struggle. The woman went off and returned a few minutes later, 'the psychiatrist won't see you, because you're a racist bastard', those were her exact words!
I was so annoyed that I got up to leave, only to be told I couldn't, and there'd be trouble if I did. Not having been sectioned I got up and did leave only to arrive home and find out exactly what the 'trouble' would be. I hadn't been home more than 5 minutes when an armed response team arrived from the local police station, apparently I'd gone berserk in the hospital and threatened everyone with an axe!
After explaining the situation the cop was most annoyed, not with me, but with the hospital, apparently they did this sort of thing regularly, and him having to attend to my house on a 'fools errand' meant he wasn't able to attend a real emergency job somewhere else.
While 'care in the community' seems a wonderful idea sadly our communities are beset with their own problems, people have enough to worry about in their own lives without worrying about some stranger across the road. It's all very sad really how things have gone, and if you are unfortunate enough to have mental health issues you already know this. But for me one of the saddest things is when it all goes wrong and a life is lost, once again the old line is dragged out like an ancient song, 'well help is available, if only they'd asked' . The thing is we all know that help isn't available, well not when you need it, imagine ringing the fire service because your house was on fire only to be told that they'd be round a week next Friday, there'd be uproar! Yet as we all know, being told to wait months for a mental health appointment is often a case of waiting weeks or even months. I think of a mental health crisis as being like a house fire, it needs dealing with now, today, otherwise when they do get around to it several weeks or even months later, it may well be too late.
As regards the 'community mental health team' I often think that they, like a lot of services are target driven having worked in the NHS at one point I know a few things, like how they have certain targets at certain times and often GP's are paid to meet those targets, for example, this months 'special' may be performing health checks on over 50's males, now the NHS may pay that GP say £10 for every one he checks, whereas, he won't get anything for checking lets say, people for diabetes.
I remember a few months ago I was rang up by someone from the GP surgery telling me that it was time for my 'annual mental health wellbeing check', I politely enquired if this was the same check I haven't had for 4 years, 'yes well we are very busy you know', came the reply, more likely that doing those particular checks was this months 'special' and they were making money out of it.
I really don't know what the answer is to your problem, I wish I did, all I can say is keep ringing the doctors, hopefully they'll get someone to see you just to get you out of their hair, it's all you can do these days sadly.
thank you for replying, im sorry you've had a hard time with them too but im not going to lie you dont fill me with confidence about resolving my situation, youve walked the walk. Iv phoned the gp this morning and didnt get anywhere, was told yeah youve been waiting a long time but like weve said before, your under the community mental health now so they should have been your first phone call. I said well iv been waiting on getting a phone call back for coming up 2 weeks from them so i called you. Called the community team, asked to speak to my worker, was told not sure if he is in today, if he is he will be in a meeting, so ill get him to call you back, BUT it might now be today im afraid it was a bank holiday yesterday so he will be playing catch up ........... like seriously im not being ungrateful but how is how im being treated any use to anyone. But i will try and be positive a bit longer.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
7,308
Location
Sheffield
I'm sorry the crisis team have fallen short of expectations, apart from being slow to act in the beginning I was satisfied with my Early Intervention Team for psychosis.

Perhaps this webpage may be of some help...


I'll also post our suicidal information packet, should things get worse I urge you to reach out for help.

It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 

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