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Having everything I need but still feeling lost

Pisces12

Pisces12

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
11
Location
Lincolnshire
Does anyone else feel like, they couldn’t ask for anymore in life and that they are truly lucky to have lots of amazing things in their life but they still feel empty and like something is missing? It makes me feel guilty knowing that I’ve got what some people could only dream of having yet I’m still not happy! It can be such a vicious circle sometimes. I feel like my head is a mess! Like I don’t really know who I am or what my purpose is supposed to be. I don’t feel good enough and feel pretty useless and a burden most of the time.
I always put on a brave face and act like I’m happy to others. I always try to make others feel happy and respected but don’t always feel like it’s returned very often.
I feel like I can’t open up and let on to people how much I truly am struggling in my head with myself. I even hold back from talking about some things with the therapist I see. Im just fed up of feeling confused all the time and like this. I just want to enjoy life and be able to be positive and confident. It is just such a struggle to do so.

I guess I’m just looking for others who have felt or feel the same so at least I won’t feel so alone in my thoughts.

Thanks ♥
 
wollie

wollie

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
3,810
Location
warwick
Hi Pisces

I dont have much but I have more than some and this feeling of emptiness just goes on and on and I see no purpose in life, so I struggle to find a meaning to it all, so now I just live day to day hopping that tomorrow will be different
All the best woolie
 
Pisces12

Pisces12

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
11
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi Pisces

I dont have much but I have more than some and this feeling of emptiness just goes on and on and I see no purpose in life, so I struggle to find a meaning to it all, so now I just live day to day hopping that tomorrow will be different
All the best woolie
That empty feeling is horrible. It’s good that your living day to day hoping tomorrow will be different and one day it definitely will be. I’m the same too. Even though I wouldn’t wish anyone to feel this way, it’s refreshing to know I’m not alone with this.
 
B

BadPlace

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
7
Location
USA
I just joined here and found your post, I feel exactly the same way. I have a very good job, I'm not rich by any means but it's steady, nearly guaranteed work with a retirement. I have a wife who loves me and a nice place to live. That should be more than enough, I see people living in hotel rooms, kids with no parents, homeless people, etc. What is wrong with me and why do I feel like I have nothing and nobody? Why am I so empty?
 
Pisces12

Pisces12

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
11
Location
Lincolnshire
I just joined here and found your post, I feel exactly the same way. I have a very good job, I'm not rich by any means but it's steady, nearly guaranteed work with a retirement. I have a wife who loves me and a nice place to live. That should be more than enough, I see people living in hotel rooms, kids with no parents, homeless people, etc. What is wrong with me and why do I feel like I have nothing and nobody? Why am I so empty?
It’s so frustrating when you have so many good things to be happy for but you just can’t be. I’m sure this emptiness will go. Also I feel like I can’t open up to people out of fear of being judged or getting a familiar response of “how can you be so unhappy? You’ve got this, and this and this” Other people just can’t understand it, making you feel lonelier than ever.
 
C

Cassius

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
79
Location
Leicester
It’s so frustrating when you have so many good things to be happy for but you just can’t be. I’m sure this emptiness will go. Also I feel like I can’t open up to people out of fear of being judged or getting a familiar response of “how can you be so unhappy? You’ve got this, and this and this” Other people just can’t understand it, making you feel lonelier than ever.
 
C

Cassius

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
79
Location
Leicester
Does anyone else feel like, they couldn’t ask for anymore in life and that they are truly lucky to have lots of amazing things in their life but they still feel empty and like something is missing? It makes me feel guilty knowing that I’ve got what some people could only dream of having yet I’m still not happy! It can be such a vicious circle sometimes. I feel like my head is a mess! Like I don’t really know who I am or what my purpose is supposed to be. I don’t feel good enough and feel pretty useless and a burden most of the time.
I always put on a brave face and act like I’m happy to others. I always try to make others feel happy and respected but don’t always feel like it’s returned very often.
I feel like I can’t open up and let on to people how much I truly am struggling in my head with myself. I even hold back from talking about some things with the therapist I see. Im just fed up of feeling confused all the time and like this. I just want to enjoy life and be able to be positive and confident. It is just such a struggle to do so.

I guess I’m just looking for others who have felt or feel the same so at least I won’t feel so alone in my thoughts.

Thanks ♥
Hi Pisces
I understand your position totally. From the outside people look at me and say how lucky I am with things I have. Lovely family, nice house etc...
So it’s even more difficult to tell people that I’m struggling. In my case I feel that the future looks bad and it’s making me think really negatively.
Once your mind starts thinking in a certain way it’s hard to go back to where you want it to be. I am trying to re-train my mind to think differently and it works from time time.
Cas
 
Pisces12

Pisces12

Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
11
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi Cassius!
It’s always hard to be able to open up to people anyway but to add the element of them not being able to understand why we feel this way just makes it worse.
I’m sorry you feel that way with regards to your future, it’s good that you are trying to retrain your brain to think differently, I need to do the same too.
 
S

Silas1066

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Chicago, IL
Yes, I understand how you feel (you can see my other posts on this). I have a loving wife, nice house, 6 figure job, a couple million in the bank, good health, sweet kids, and a lot of friends.

And while there can be biological components to depression, there are underlying reasons. It can be a challenge to figure out where the emptiness and angst is coming from. I try to do an honest inventory, and come up with things like

1. I will turn 50 in 6 months--not a good milestone. Worried about health after that.
2. My female friend of 4 years, someone I am very close to, has a new, serious boyfriend (she hasn't dated in a long time). While I am happy for her, I also have some jealousy and conflicting feelings. Not good for a married guy, and while it didn't develop into an emotional affair, I somehow felt that she was my little friend and no one else could have her. I've come to terms with this, but it left me very depressed.
3. The industry I work in is high-stress and awful. I feel trapped in it, and want out.
4. I've always been Byronic, introspective, and stormy. I have ups and downs, drink too much, and feel things too deeply, even if I don't show it.
5. I was worried my wife was becoming distant from me, didn't trust me enough not to "judge her" about things, etc. This was feeding into #2.

I've taken some steps to correct this stuff. Re-connected with my wife in a big way,told my boss to basically pi** off (don't care if I am fired), and when I feel depressed I write--I try to put what I am feeling onto paper. It helps me
 
C

Cassius

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
79
Location
Leicester
Yes, I understand how you feel (you can see my other posts on this). I have a loving wife, nice house, 6 figure job, a couple million in the bank, good health, sweet kids, and a lot of friends.

And while there can be biological components to depression, there are underlying reasons. It can be a challenge to figure out where the emptiness and angst is coming from. I try to do an honest inventory, and come up with things like

1. I will turn 50 in 6 months--not a good milestone. Worried about health after that.
2. My female friend of 4 years, someone I am very close to, has a new, serious boyfriend (she hasn't dated in a long time). While I am happy for her, I also have some jealousy and conflicting feelings. Not good for a married guy, and while it didn't develop into an emotional affair, I somehow felt that she was my little friend and no one else could have her. I've come to terms with this, but it left me very depressed.
3. The industry I work in is high-stress and awful. I feel trapped in it, and want out.
4. I've always been Byronic, introspective, and stormy. I have ups and downs, drink too much, and feel things too deeply, even if I don't show it.
5. I was worried my wife was becoming distant from me, didn't trust me enough not to "judge her" about things, etc. This was feeding into #2.

I've taken some steps to correct this stuff. Re-connected with my wife in a big way,told my boss to basically pi** off (don't care if I am fired), and when I feel depressed I write--I try to put what I am feeling onto paper. It helps me
Hi Silas
Thanks for your reply.
I read one of your earlier posts talking about high expectations regarding living standards and I guess thats what scares me about the future. I’m 55 and have been doing fine in running my own business. All of a sudden I feel out of energy and think it’s all gonna go downhill. Instead of rolling up my sleeves and fighting I’m now questioning my past decisions. Could I have done things differently that would have made me less reliant on having to work as hard now. Better investments, less spending on school fees, smaller house etc ..
Sort of blaming myself and can’t stop overthinking.
 
M

Millie Dev

Active member
Joined
Feb 19, 2020
Messages
39
Location
Ireland
Does anyone else feel like, they couldn’t ask for anymore in life and that they are truly lucky to have lots of amazing things in their life but they still feel empty and like something is missing? It makes me feel guilty knowing that I’ve got what some people could only dream of having yet I’m still not happy! It can be such a vicious circle sometimes. I feel like my head is a mess! Like I don’t really know who I am or what my purpose is supposed to be. I don’t feel good enough and feel pretty useless and a burden most of the time.
I always put on a brave face and act like I’m happy to others. I always try to make others feel happy and respected but don’t always feel like it’s returned very often.
I feel like I can’t open up and let on to people how much I truly am struggling in my head with myself. I even hold back from talking about some things with the therapist I see. Im just fed up of feeling confused all the time and like this. I just want to enjoy life and be able to be positive and confident. It is just such a struggle to do so.

I guess I’m just looking for others who have felt or feel the same so at least I won’t feel so alone in my thoughts.

Thanks ♥
I totally feel the same as you and it's awful and then you feel so guilty for not being happy
 
0

03ash

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Spalding
Does anyone else feel like, they couldn’t ask for anymore in life and that they are truly lucky to have lots of amazing things in their life but they still feel empty and like something is missing? It makes me feel guilty knowing that I’ve got what some people could only dream of having yet I’m still not happy! It can be such a vicious circle sometimes. I feel like my head is a mess! Like I don’t really know who I am or what my purpose is supposed to be. I don’t feel good enough and feel pretty useless and a burden most of the time.
I always put on a brave face and act like I’m happy to others. I always try to make others feel happy and respected but don’t always feel like it’s returned very often.
I feel like I can’t open up and let on to people how much I truly am struggling in my head with myself. I even hold back from talking about some things with the therapist I see. Im just fed up of feeling confused all the time and like this. I just want to enjoy life and be able to be positive and confident. It is just such a struggle to do so.

I guess I’m just looking for others who have felt or feel the same so at least I won’t feel so alone in my thoughts.

Thanks ♥
Hi,

Pisces your not alone I feel the same way at the moment I almost feel guilty for feeling this way when I have supportive friends family a good job and active. Its reassuring to know that I am not alone in feeling this way! Hope you start to feel better soon!
 
J

JamesSW

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
12
Location
New Mexico
You’re absolutely NOT alone! I’m married to a successful doctor, we have more money than we’ll ever spend, a beautiful home, a new truck, etc etc But each day I find my self so incredibly lonely, anxious, and just plain sad it is literally driving me to the edge.
I spend countless hours in the gym to wear away hours and energy, only to find myself in the gym bathroom self harming.
Putting on that facade of happiness feels as empty as the hours I’m alone. And I feel I can’t even let my therapist in; I can’t fail her, right? If I told her some things I , I can’t - I even fail at therapy?!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
My very best wishes to you, J.
 
0

03ash

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Spalding
You’re absolutely NOT alone! I’m married to a successful doctor, we have more money than we’ll ever spend, a beautiful home, a new truck, etc etc But each day I find my self so incredibly lonely, anxious, and just plain sad it is literally driving me to the edge.
I spend countless hours in the gym to wear away hours and energy, only to find myself in the gym bathroom self harming.
Putting on that facade of happiness feels as empty as the hours I’m alone. And I feel I can’t even let my therapist in; I can’t fail her, right? If I told her some things I , I can’t - I even fail at therapy?!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
My very best wishes to you, J.
Hi J,

Just the fact that you have the strength to go to a therapist to try and get better is an achievement as I still have not worked up the courage to do that yet. I am new to self harm myself only started recently been desperately trying to get it under control before it becomes a problem. But at least we arent alone in this .

Ash
 
Possume

Possume

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Tasmania
I’ve been there with that empty feeling.
I also have it all, a caring partner, loving family and friends, beautiful home.
That feeling of emptiness can’t be filled by things or others it is something we have to fill by starting to like ourselves, accepting ourselves for who we our than going it is ok to be me.
I have found that by doing mindfulness helped.
Every time I have a negative thought I then think of something positive.
For me being out walking in nature and listening to sounds, smelling the smells and seeing the beauty helps.
I’ve only gone an got a budgie so now I have some of the sounds of nature in my house.
Once I accepted that it’s the ok to be me and to have mental health issues I was able to heal.
I still have days and still have issues to over come.
Obviously the cause of everyone mental health issues are different but you do have to be honest to yourself and to those who are trying to help
Xo
 
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