Having a tough time

KayTastrophy

KayTastrophy

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Apr 29, 2019
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16
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Stockton-on-Tees, Stockton-on-Tees
#1
Hi again!

Just need to vent a bit really, but I'm feeling rather used and abused at the moment. The father of my boy has been rather 2 faced, I had to be investigated by social services after my son was born because of my childhood, and my ex broke up with me an hour after. My son is 1 year old, I'm only just being allowed personal time between me and him again, although he doesnt live with me, and his dad has been push and pull, sleeping with me then rejecting me, the reporting "concerns" so social about me, but when I've explained that I told him not to do something because it sets off my BPD he does it anyway, then reports me. I've explained to the social worker and she said his behaviour is completely put of order, and I shouldn't be put through this, with what he is doing, I'm even on the sick because of my mental health and I still give him £200 a month for our little one.

I guess it's just making me feel really used, and after having a terrible life in general I'm fed up, it makes me feel like no body cares, im never going to be loved or appreciated, I'm sick of being taken advantage of. Once he even went on whisper and pretended to be someone else, I opened up the he was being a dick, so I blocked him, when I found out and called him out on it cause he wanted to find me on there, was that I had the same name as someone else who blocked him, and it's just a coincidence that the person I blocked has the same name as he had last night, well before he talked to me.

I'm fed up guys, I cant cope with being treat like this anymore, but thank you for reading :hug:
 
calypso

calypso

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#3
God what a W*****. I am sorry you have had to go through this. How is your little one? Delightful I suspect.
 
L

Lunar Lady

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#5
Kay, your child's father is manipulating and controlling you.

By 'raising concerns' about your parenting, he has been instrumental in controlling your access to your baby.

He is using you - then rejecting you. He has power over you, knowing he has the upper hand to say whatever he wants about you to influence authorities.

This is not somebody you want to have a relationship with.

I would strongly suggest you cut ties with him and focus on proving yourself as a capable mother.

Your child will be in your life forever - this man won't.

Don't invest any time or attention in him. Build up a support network of solid friends and family and let your social worker know that he is toxic and manipulative...and you have the strength and good sense to stay away from him.

He can not 'raise any concerns' if he is not privy to your life.

His behaviour towards you is not loving or supportive. You deserve better :hug:
 
KayTastrophy

KayTastrophy

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Stockton-on-Tees, Stockton-on-Tees
#6
Thanks everyone! I went and talked to him face to face because its not okay that he is saying all of this to social services but not actually telling me if he has any issues, but he genuinely brings up some good points that i neglected to think about or remember.

I dont know if he's messing with my head or if im imagining these problems, theres still so much there, and it feels like when he knows im breaking from his grip he will be suggestive to try and rope me back in again, knowing that its so easy to do.

I dont know, im so confused, its got my head in bits. Either way, im prioritising my mental health and my little boy first. He has a lot of proving to do before i can consider anything more than friendship with him anyway.

Thank you so much for the support everyone! the little one is doing so well! social should be ready to close our case with high hopes for me! The social worker is 100% on my side for everything, and im so happy that its going well! Me and the little man had a full day! from half 7 this morning alllll the way till 5pm :hug: cant believe its been 9 months since ive been able to be in his life like this, and spend some quality bonding time with just us!

Hugs for everyone, have an amazing day guys! :hug:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#8
Don't even allow him in your life as a friend, he sounds completely toxic :hug:

Tixic people are like toxic waste - both need to be got rid of out of your life :hug: (you wouldn't carry a bag of toxic waste around with you i hope - it's the same with this toxic person) :hug:
 
KayTastrophy

KayTastrophy

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Stockton-on-Tees, Stockton-on-Tees
#9
Don't even allow him in your life as a friend, he sounds completely toxic :hug:

Tixic people are like toxic waste - both need to be got rid of out of your life :hug: (you wouldn't carry a bag of toxic waste around with you i hope - it's the same with this toxic person) :hug:
I know, but he will always be the father of my boy, and my boy has grown up in that house with him for a year, I just just take it all away. We have shared custody, so we have to make it work, even if it's just as friends. I dont put my boy through what I went through as a child, I'll make it work :hug: thank you for looking out for me
 
KayTastrophy

KayTastrophy

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Stockton-on-Tees, Stockton-on-Tees
#12
Fair enough. It's good you have a plan. I don't have children so i don't fully understand your scenario. Kids/family comes first.
I grew up with shitty parents, my mother neglected me etc. And my mum and dad had no contact, they would always tell me awful things about each other while I was growing up, I have sworn to everything I believe in, that my son will not live a life like mine, I will do everything in my power to give him the life I never had :)
 

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