- Dec 14, 2020
At this point my depression is as severe as it gets probably. As the title says, I no longer care about anything. I have no hobbies, no interests, no dreams, no goal, no purpose, no job, no college degree, nothing really. I no longer even care to heal, you know? Like I don't care to get up, go to therapy and heal. I don't care nor want to read, learn, educate myself, watch something, listen to something, do something. Funniest thing is that I can't even be BOTHERED to kill myself. The process of getting up and then doing it is bothersome. I don't give a fuck. Don't get me wrong I tried to force myself. I forced myself to do certain things, but stopped not even finishing. No joy, no pleasure, no excitement, no interest. I'd see other people on the internet with depression and other mental illnesses and they do things, you know? They have dreams, they work, study, they want to learn, to see, to know, they care about things. And then you start feeling alone, thinking "damn, am I really the only one who completely gave up on everything and has no ounce of motivation, energy or care?"