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Have you ever woke up to something of the past instantly bothering you

C

Corrs77

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Well I had this just as I woke up today and it happens time and time again.

It shouldn't bother me , I should get over it, but I wasn't thinking about it , the thought was in my subconscious and I didn't even dream about the situation.

It was a problem with someone who's out off my life for good maybe they hurt me. Maybe something between us wasn't resolved but what if I don't want it to be resolved and move on without it bothering me.

I just woke up with these thoughts in my head. I was in rem and when I was aware I was awake I shouted "FOR GOD SAKE"

Like why does this still bother me now
 
C

celticlass

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We cannot really comment on that without knowing some more detail.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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It happens to me all the time. I can wake up and be bothered by something that happened years ago.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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It shouldn't bother me , I should get over it
Those "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" aren't really helping, are they? They're just ideas, not what is really happening. I'm not sure why we do this, saying to ourselves things like, "I should/shouldn't think about this or that" or "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I should be happy." It's OK to use "should-thinking" sometimes, like "I should clean up my room." But to do it for thoughts and feelings... I don't see any benefit in that. The "should" itself is just another thought/feeling, so there's a sort of conflict going on between what you actually think/feel and the idea of how you should think/feel. There's no benefit in this. Yet we all do it.
 
N

NothingToSeeHere

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It happens to me all the time. I can wake up and be bothered by something that happened years ago.
Same here. It isn't always just after waking either I can have them at any point in the day.
 
C

Corrs77

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Same here. It isn't always just after waking either I can have them at any point in the day.
Same pretty much..
But when sleeping it feels more like a disturbance or forbidden wakeup call. Like why should I live with this being a problem. I wouldn't think I'm a problem or threat to this person in the same way well just based on their personality type 🤔
 
C

Corrs77

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Those "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" aren't really helping, are they? They're just ideas, not what is really happening. I'm not sure why we do this, saying to ourselves things like, "I should/shouldn't think about this or that" or "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I should be happy." It's OK to use "should-thinking" sometimes, like "I should clean up my room." But to do it for thoughts and feelings... I don't see any benefit in that. The "should" itself is just another thought/feeling, so there's a sort of conflict going on between what you actually think/feel and the idea of how you should think/feel. There's no benefit in this. Yet we all do it.

Yeah this is always the case even in my right mind I swear I'm not obsessed with this person..

I found myself in a lets say "immoral" situation involving this person so it wasn't right to me

I let go off this person who I really liked and that was very hard.

So after a year I guess it still isn't easy to forget about
 
N

NothingToSeeHere

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Same pretty much..
But when sleeping it feels more like a disturbance or forbidden wakeup call. Like why should I live with this being a problem. I wouldn't think I'm a problem or threat to this person in the same way well just based on their personality type 🤔
I wish I knew what it meant. My guess would be unresolved issues but I don't even see most of the people involved and some have even passed away. I hope you can find a solution to what has caused yours.
 
J

jsmacks

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Sometimes I wake up and think about the horrible decisions I made over 20 years ago and yes those issues still bother me.

Or even childhood experiences that happened over 30 years ago, (getting beat up, bullied, whipped, chastised.)


The past haunts you more than the present I seem to find.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Yep! All of a sudden it comes out of nowhere & you feel exactly how you did 10 / 20 years ago. Apparently on average women hold a grudge for 7 years so think we just take it to the next level 😂
 
J

jsmacks

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Yep! All of a sudden it comes out of nowhere & you feel exactly how you did 10 / 20 years ago. Apparently on average women hold a grudge for 7 years so think we just take it to the next level 😂

One of my closest friends (a guy) still has grudges from over 20 years ago. That said many people have done pretty foul things to earn those grudges.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Those "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" aren't really helping, are they? They're just ideas, not what is really happening. I'm not sure why we do this, saying to ourselves things like, "I should/shouldn't think about this or that" or "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I should be happy." It's OK to use "should-thinking" sometimes, like "I should clean up my room." But to do it for thoughts and feelings... I don't see any benefit in that. The "should" itself is just another thought/feeling, so there's a sort of conflict going on between what you actually think/feel and the idea of how you should think/feel. There's no benefit in this. Yet we all do it.
Going to pass this one on to my son. Thank you :)
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Nashua NH
Well I had this just as I woke up today and it happens time and time again.

It shouldn't bother me , I should get over it, but I wasn't thinking about it , the thought was in my subconscious and I didn't even dream about the situation.

It was a problem with someone who's out off my life for good maybe they hurt me. Maybe something between us wasn't resolved but what if I don't want it to be resolved and move on without it bothering me.

I just woke up with these thoughts in my head. I was in rem and when I was aware I was awake I shouted "FOR GOD SAKE"

Like why does this still bother me now
This happened to me this morning. Awhile ago now I was involved with a guy that I was semi obsessed with and we had an intimate relationship off and on. The whole time we had our off and on again relationship I never dreamed of him. Now that he is out of my life for good I seem to dream about him almost all the time. This morning I woke up to a dream of him very similar in subject to the last dream I had of him (where there is a woman coming between us being together) and I cannot understand this at all because I am over it and over him and want nothing to do with it at all. Why my brain seems to want to dredge things up and open those old wounds again for no reason I will never know. I just find it ironic that when I really was into this guy and I wanted to dream about him I never did and now that he is a non issue he keeps getting dragged through my dreams to become this major issue in my mind. It really stresses me out and upsets me because I don’t want to be thinking of him again. I wish my brain would just knock it off already.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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This happened to me this morning. Awhile ago now I was involved with a guy that I was semi obsessed with and we had an intimate relationship off and on. The whole time we had our off and on again relationship I never dreamed of him. Now that he is out of my life for good I seem to dream about him almost all the time. This morning I woke up to a dream of him very similar in subject to the last dream I had of him (where there is a woman coming between us being together) and I cannot understand this at all because I am over it and over him and want nothing to do with it at all. Why my brain seems to want to dredge things up and open those old wounds again for no reason I will never know. I just find it ironic that when I really was into this guy and I wanted to dream about him I never did and now that he is a non issue he keeps getting dragged through my dreams to become this major issue in my mind. It really stresses me out and upsets me because I don’t want to be thinking of him again. I wish my brain would just knock it off already.
Damnit, that sucks. It will pass, your mind is working through something. I was married for 20 years, so after we divorced it took me like 2 years to wake up and not immediately feel empty and alone b/c I hadn't slept alone in so long. Still to this day sleep on my side of the bed when it's been 8 years! WTF? Why buy a big bed? Lol, anyway, give it time. It can really set the mood for the day, I know. 💙
 
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