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Have you ever tried to trigger a manic episode? Or tried to live with a bit of instability for creatuve

ara13

ara13

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So I was feeling really stale for about a month and couldn’t find a drive to do anything especially creative things which is very unusual for me. But I wasn’t depressed.

It got so bland and boring I decided to throw caution to the wind because even a mood episode would be better than nothing.


my idea of attempting to trigger a hypomanic episode hasn’t really worked, I’ve had small periods of manic inspiration but I’m still super tired and have been sleeping regularly. I have felt my manic personality begin to shine through a little, but I’m able to keep it in control. Is it possible to just... keep living like this? Has anyone else figured out a way to keep some of their manic creativity without sacrificing their relationships and finances? I’d rather be slightly unstable than not be creative, even if that does mean depression sometimes. I’ve been really adamant about identifying the manic behavior like urges to text random people or make extravagant plans and haven’t been overspending at all, so I don’t see a danger to being this way.
 
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Dice

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I imagine it would be possible to - shall we say - 'encourage' an episode by way of certain unhealthy lifestyle choices and so forth, but I don't think it'd be a good idea to do so because you don't know what beast you'd wake up. If you think about previous episodes and how they may have come on out of the blue, or by certain events, then think about actually forcing it intentionally...I don't know, it just feels like it could be quite dangerous to me. I get your frustration though, because I too have lost some spark since being on meds, but I'd definitely prefer that to being actively suicidal, not just for me, but for those it would effect, which is something we should always keep in mind. Be sensible, this thing isn't to be messed with.

Maybe instead of hoping for a manic inspiration you could try and trigger things by looking into more of the things that you do. If it's paintings then study certain painters that you've not done so before etc. Hopefully that could light a spark within you.
 
ara13

ara13

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Yea I totally agree, thanks for saying that. One of the things I’ve been doing to resist the temptations of mania has been to make lists of the horrible choices and situations I got myself into when I was manic. It can be a really dark place to go but it sort of tethers me to reality. I do believe that I have some control over episodes, especially manic ones if I use skills I’ve learned to prevent them before they get too bad.

I can usually spot a manic episode from a mile away but depression tends to sneak up on me haha.
Have you found any ways to counteract the lack of that artistic “spark”? That’s a really great idea to look into outside things that inspire me, thank you.
 
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Kiingyee

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oh yeah, plenty of times. Unhealthy though.
 
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Berg

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I used to but manic episodes for me are abrupt and quick so once it happens there's very little control I have. It's like being on a rollercoaster that just won't stop.

I also don't really experience 'euphoric' mania for long. It always starts that way but very quickly leads to irritability and that's pretty much the whole episode, so may be unusual to say but it's actually never fun at all.
 

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