Have you changed?

burt tomato

burt tomato

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#1
I feel I used to be an arrogant twit. Losing my job, going through a mental health crisis has made me more introverted and thoughtful.

I thought I was clever but I was stupid and made a hash of things.

I like to think I have lost a lot of my arrogance now.

I tend to think that I have lost friends, because of my poor behaviour. They were never proper friends.

I feel learning about spirituality has helped me too. I still worry about money, I have to work on this.

Just some thoughts.
 
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Twokiwisandabanana

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#2
In the last 6 years my life has changed completely
I used to be an alcoholic and my life was very bad
I stopped drinking with the odd slip ups
But now I haven't drank for 4 years
I went to nepal cried on a monk and buddism has changed everything for me
I'm actually happy!
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#3
Yes, I used to be porn/sex addict. I used to smoke and drink. I used to overspend badly.

I have the occasional drink now, I vape and am good at budgeting my money. I get turned off by a lot of porn these days.
 
N

natalie

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#5
I used to be much more generally and physically active when in younger years, and just the communication problems. With the mental health brewing up within years later.

I used to workout a very much a great deal, and in those days, I could manage cassette tapes. I would workout daily before work, I had worked in those days then.


I also in my spare time, and particularly during the evenings, until late, now some people might complimentary laugh at this; I used to always pretend, singing along with my favourite artists, to music videos, or music dvds. And always preparing combined for any Karaoke sessions anytime, anywhere that i could get to in the evenings. Again, in those years then, before becoming unfamilar with unfamilar places, and in the dark.


Now? Well, ah hem, it's is listening to music, from personal player cd through headphones.


Workout wise, to my fitness dvds.


And I am still, now I wouldn't like to think, weaker, I am still getting mentally and also physically stronger every day, each year. I am 46, feel like, and I know I have a young looking face, 26!!!, happily content.
 
fazza

fazza

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#6
I used to think i was really smart and the best at what i do. Turns out it was all a dilusion. I am not smart. I have made some incredible bad decisions in my life because of schizophrenia. Just recently It happened again. After coming off clozapine because of a low white blood count i felt that i did not need meds and that i should just go back to work. What a disaster that turned out to be.

Burt you are smart witty and clever. I love reading your posts they are always insightfull.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#7
I used to think i was really smart and the best at what i do. Turns out it was all a dilusion. I am not smart. I have made some incredible bad decisions in my life because of schizophrenia. Just recently It happened again. After coming off clozapine because of a low white blood count i felt that i did not need meds and that i should just go back to work. What a disaster that turned out to be.

Burt you are smart witty and clever. I love reading your posts they are always insightfull.
Yes I used to be deluded too. I don't think you made a bad mistake about work. It has been a long time for you, it is going to be difficult to get back into it. You probably just need more time. Maybe you need to ease yourself back into it.
 
Mark_01

Mark_01

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#8
No, I have consistently driven the people around me crazy for the past 60 years. They have all said I am crazy, a crazy motherf***** was one of the descriptive words they used. I make people angry, not because I try to, they just get angry when they realize I am not in the same world as they are.

Mental illness is a crime.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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#9
I was confident, attractive and successful when I applied myself and was ambitious.
This illness has completely gutted me.
There is not a path back to attain what I was before.
I am however more tolerant and empathetic now.
I am also becoming more forgetful.
 
Mark_01

Mark_01

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#10
I was confident, attractive and successful when I applied myself and was ambitious.
This illness has completely gutted me.
There is not a path back to attain what I was before.
I am however more tolerant and empathetic now.
I am also becoming more forgetful.
I think mental illness would be harder on a person who developed it later in life. I have always been this way, so I know no different.
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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#11
I am also weaker than I used to be. I get frazzled by things much easier now. I was always an introvert, but when invited to do fun things with others, I usually did them. But now I usually turn them down. It all seems kind of pointless when nothing seems fun anymore. I also had a lot of hobbies over the years and was always active doing things. I don't do much now. I just read what I just wrote and it sounds kind of depressing, but I would say I don't feel depressed at all.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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#12
I’ve certainly changed. I used to be a lot more of a go-getter, a bit arrogant, quite confident in being clever. I’m more humble now, and less confident in being able to just do things. But I’m also a bit more sensitive, and more comfortable in being who I am.
 
freddiefreakery

freddiefreakery

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#13
I used to be known for my smile, to a point that people were put off by me. I never minded much though, I was too happy to care. I lived everyday in bliss, I was untouchable. Then depression and anxiety hit, and I lost my smile. I was just a weird socially awkward 13 year old girl that hardly anyone liked. I couldn’t even sit through class most of the time, I would have a panic attack and have to run out. After that I was finally better for a little while, I actually got a group of friends when I was 15 and things were looking up. Not like they had been before, but better than when I was 13. Then when I was 16 psychosis hit for the first time. My friends started not liking me anymore, I started becoming isolated again. I felt more alone than ever at that point. Every day was suffering. I got better again when I was 17, got another group of friends and had a good time, but when I was 18 I had an even worse psychotic episode and I lost it all. Whatever little motivation I had was gone, I was afraid all the time and I couldn’t leave my house. I stopped eating and sleeping due to my delusions. I was living in constant fight or flight mode. After I got treated, I wasn’t as bad, but I’m still a shell of my former self. I still have no motivation, and I have practically no friends again. I can’t function like a normal person, I just exist in a state of nothingness. It’s sad, but I can’t cry about it, this is just how things are now. I hope things will get better, but I just don’t know if they will. Sorry for the long post, this just got me thinking about a lot of stuff.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#14
I used to be pretty, had a great figure and was great at my job.
Now everything exhausts me and I've piled on the weight.
However lost a stone recently.
Loved caring for kids and adults.
 
A

Abilifred

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#15
When I was younger I was very bright, very social, very passionate about things like art and politics. I came down with mental illness in my early twenties and over the next several years gave in to delusion and withdrew from my social circles, no longer caring about having friends or being cared about by others. It's only in the last year or so, since being on medication, that I've returned more to my older self. I'm reading regularly again, feel sharper and more intellectual, and I am back to having friends who care about me. I feel that I have a strong grasp on reality now, as I used to when I was younger. One thing that hasn't come back is my passion for politics, but maybe that's just because of the boring Trump years.