Have I ruined my life?

[BritishSte]

Hi everyone,

Could use some real advice, I am an 18 year old male with a hectic life at the moment, all kinds of problems popping up everywhere.

Started about a year and a bit ago, and just progressively got worse - though better(ish) now. I put this thread in the "everyday" forum because it's so many issues but not necessarily mental health related (aside from depression/stress). Though I would say I am probably bi-polar and tend to be socially anxious.

It started with a period of depression, around the end of 2008 and into the new year - getting apathetic, especially with regard to my education (A-Levels). Probably due to just becoming disillusioned and also things weren't so great at home round about then. I had poor attendance due to pulling numerous "sickies" which is only my own fault but what's done is done. I did well at GCSEs before hand, but my grades slipped, from then to now. I ruined my A-Levels and finished with a U, an E and a C the results of which I got this August. I wasn't going to University anyway because I'm looking to join the Police, but I wanted good A-Levels.

On the sidelines during this period, I used alcohol a lot - which probably ruined my chances getting good results too. My health got worse, I was very fit and healthy before it all but ended on putting on 3st purely through alcohol and comfort eating.

I'm through that now though, hopefully - Feeling better and loosing the weight fast, stopped drinking - but I cant help but feel as though I've ruined everything and that's holding me down. The A-Levels are pretty poor, I effectively have one A-Level because putting a grade E on a CV or application is just a put off for any employer.

Socially I have also become very insulated, I actually can't say I have many, if any, friends now - I've spent the summer mostly in my own company and deleted my facebook, no msn etc.

I was going to join the Police in 3 years, and join the Special Constabulary (Volunteer Police) for now to get experience but I can't even do that due to my poor attendance in College. I have to get a job for now and have perfect attendance for 2 years and reapply (though that was the only issue with my application they said). Still, getting a job is going to be awkward in this current economic climate.

It's mostly my fault, probably - and I know that.

Any advice? Some reassurance? Anyone been in a similar situation?

Cheers
Stephen

 

[Ainsworth]

what's done is done

hey Stephen,

depression is a bad thing, you sound like you did your best through tough circumstances. as you said whats done is done but you dont have to accept it.

you seem to have a plan of what you want to do, stick with it, you can make it happen. can you re take your A levels, do you want to?

also do you need help with the depression?

anyway, take care and good luck

 

[trombone_babe]

Yes I would agree with unremarkable, maybe you could retake your A levels. I would certainly suggest going to the doctor to see if he can help you with the depression, you don't need to struggle with this on your own. If talking helps, then there are plenty of people on here who are great at listening, and because we've all been through it to one degree or another, we understand.

Best of luck, keep us posted

 

[BritishSte]

I just don't want to be in a bad position, maybe i'm just blowing things out of proportion - I don't know.

 

[whiteeagle]

There are government schemes for helping people get into work. Your local job centre should be able to help you find out about these, but there are other organisations that can also help. I don't know which ones are active in your area. Try looking under something like 'employment agencies and specialists' in yellow pages. And see what they offer. I think Connexions operate nationally. They are for younger people but I can't remember what age ranges they normally cover, but if you don't qualify they'd be able to refer you somewhere else that provides a similar service.

In addition or alternatively you could do voluntary work in some area that interests you. There are lots of opportunities in this area. 'Community Volunteer Services' in your area will have a list or look them up on their website.

You could retake 'A' levels, but you may not be able to take on full time courses if you need to rely on benefits at the same time. But there are ways round this. Most colleges and further education establishments offer 'A' levels on a part time basis, and to make up the full quota of 'A' levels you could additionally study some using text books and just enter yourself for the exams.

There are also vocational qualifications that you could pursue instead.

Professional bodies also offer exams which can help get into particular careers, but these tend to be quite expensive. Open University degrees are also a possibility, still expensive but can be taken in units and spread the cost over a number of years.

Because you don't have a degree (yet) there should be funding available for lots of different kinds of funding for training and education. Some charities might offer assistance if you can't find government funding for what you want to do. Connexions have a database that contains details of these.

Things might not be as bad as you think and it may be a good choice not to go to university. Lots of highly qualified graduates are finding it very difficult to find work at the moment and are often not considered for entry level positions because employers often think that they may not stay long before moving on, so you may have an advantage in that sense.

You are still young with educational success to a level which many employers look for for many positions, so if you get together a good CV, apply for lots of jobs and do the necessary preparation for any interviews you are offered I would think that the outlook is positive, although it may take a while in the current economic climate.

The main thing I think is not to get down-hearted and give up. Keep trying and keep doing something or a variety of things and gain qualifications and/or experience, and this will help you to demonstrate to future prospective employers that you have talents/experience and the kind of potential and drive that can be useful to them. Taking the leap of getting back into society would help to restore your confidence and feeling of well-being. There may be local organisations or groups that you could get involved with if you don't know where to start.

The Citizens Advice Bureau also offer free advice and/or information and/or referrals/pointers to other organisations on a wide range of issues.

 

[BritishSte]

Thanks much.