have i got a personality disorder or just depression ?desperate for advice

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trying_my_best

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Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
5
Location
england
#1
hi all im really hoping someone who has experience themselves could help me as my gp just wants to keep throwing pills at me and now life is unbearable ,ill write a little about my story and try not to bore anyone ,any advice really is appreciated ,so here goes ....
about 20 years ago i was diagnosed with depression ,i was on and off meds but nothing seemed to help although at that time i could live with it ,id always been criticised for overthinking and being over emotional but it all got too much when i got into a relationship 18 months ago with my first love ,not long after getting together the lies and betrayal started and began an on/off relationship ,in that time i lost my job ,friends ,home and savings but more so my mind,constantly analysing the situation and doubting my decisions and behavour whether its my black and white thinking (which mymum now tells me ive done since childhood) ,the girl basically broke me and showed no remorse
ive never really fealt settled or known what i actually want in life ,but what can seem like a good thing nowe can change within hours ,days or minutes ,and my mood changes the same ,im mostly soft hearted but can become very angry quickly
i also struggle with friendships as judge people as to if they are using me or mocking me which leaves me lonely although i have one good friend who ive been close to since childhood and rarely doubt but worry im a burden lately ,ive asked the gp for more diagnosis but all i get is "try this medication " and i just feel hopeless and want advice as to whether im over thinking my illness and my gp is right or is there something more ?im out of the relationship now after hearing she told one guy she text i was weird but for some reason i still cant stop struggling over the breakup
 
Screechout

Screechout

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Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
69
#2
Sorry to hear that you are struggling, have you discussed your concerns at length with him like the feelings and thoughts you are having? Also if you feel your current gp is not being helpful could you not request to see a different gp at your drs? although I understand that this might not be possible and/or stressful for you.

Do you have any other support in place for your mental health as well or is it just your gp?
 
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trying_my_best

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Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
5
Location
england
#3
ive told my Gp how the meds arent helping and explained how im feeling ,ive seen various different gps at the surgery but there all no help ,i have considered changing surgery's ,i have my friend and my mum but its hard and frustrating that they dont understand so i try not to trouble them with it anymore as just makes me worse ,i just wasnt sure if i was being a hypochondriac
 
Screechout

Screechout

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Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
69
#4
ive told my Gp how the meds arent helping and explained how im feeling ,ive seen various different gps at the surgery but there all no help ,i have considered changing surgery's ,i have my friend and my mum but its hard and frustrating that they dont understand so i try not to trouble them with it anymore as just makes me worse ,i just wasnt sure if i was being a hypochondriac
Changing drs surgery all together could be a option if you feel that you aren't being supported properly, personality disorders have various different criteria for them so the best people to speak to would be the professionals however I can totally sympathize with drs not being helpful as mine was the same it was only until I got put under a mental health team that I got better support. Not sure if you have asked and/or suggested this to your dr but maybe you could ask to be referred to a psychologist?
 
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trying_my_best

Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
5
Location
england
#5
i self refered to the local nhs well being hub but they were no help at all ,i first went through a telephone appointment and then eventually got an appointment to be seen by a nurse at the centre ,i was asked lots of questions she read from a sheet and she seemed to grin at some of my answers ,after she finished with the tick box exercise she said to try healthy eating ,exercise etc and said they would be in touch ,i got a letter a month or so later saying i had a phone appointent which when it came to it the person who phoned said i didnt need another phone appoitment they had messed up somewhere and that she will look into it and get back to me , i then got a letter inviting me to group cbt ,i wanted a proper diagnosis for once but no use ,its hard explaining how you think and feel when it changes that often ,just feel hopeless and kind of a nuisance now
 
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Trekster33

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Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
84
Location
South West UK
#6
Hi and I hope today is better for you.

Quite a number of people with a personality disorder diagnosis identify as having a childhood where they were criticised or being called overly emotional.

Black and white thinking can be a number of different disabilities, autism or bpd, or schziophrenia (excuse my bad spelling) or hydrocephalus. Unsure if there are any others that causes the black and white thinking.

Difficulties with emotions can also be bpd or autism or even cptsd. The 'flash anger' as I call it can be part of bpd as well. Also the up and down emotional control the way you describe sounds like bpd.

But we are just your peers and although we can support you, we can't say for sure that you have a personality disorder but at the same time I can understand why you think you might have one.

I find the guides on the Mind website to be really invaluable, as is the emergence website (about personality disorders) and also rethink. Mind also have legal guides which can advise you on what to do if your GP refuses to help you.

Have you looked to see if there is a personality disorder service in your local area? Sometimes personality disorders come under 'complex needs' service.

Are there any other options apart from the wellbeing hub? Eg a wellbeing cafe or similar? You mentioned the nurse was grinning at some of your answers.... Was that because you took her questions literally?

I hope you manage to find a way to get your mental health needs met.