though i am so glad i have discovered this forum, i finally feel like im not completely crazy (or perhaps not the only one who IS crazy)
basically, i am pretty bad anxiety issues.
the physical symptoms (ones which i would say stop me from holding down are job) are that i am physically sick on a regular basis, i spend most morning vomiting, and most evenings feeling very nauseous.
i also suffer from 'occasional' blackouts, and once passed out in public in wh smith!
the problem here is, i dont come across as some sort of wallflower, nor am i a constant quivering mess.
i am a mess about 50% of my life at the moment, the other 50% i am ok-(ish).
i decided to start claiming ESA 6 months ago, on the advice of a job adviser, and the fact i was getting worse and just needed a few months respite.
i was hoping to be feeling atleast abit better before being called by the dreaded ATOS.
unfortunately i dont.
i got the letter a couple of days ago, and have the appointment on new years eve at midday.
so all over christmas this is all i am going to be thinking about!
i am trying to put it to the back of my mind but i really cant, everytime i am near the internet all i can do is search endless pages about ATOS stories and its making me feel worse and worse.
i am terrified i am going to be left up shit creek.
i need money to survive. im in the crap money wise enough as it is, never mind attempting to live on an income of zilch.
i just know that they will fail me, i cant see anyway in which i would be able to pass an ATOS medical when they fail so many people with similar and worse problems!
i cant claim JSA because theres no way i can stick to appointments.
i cant appeal because that would mean living off NOTHING for months on end, if i have that right?
what on earth am i going to do.