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hating myself



Well-known member
Oct 10, 2009
London, UK
I really really hate myself at the moment. It is irrational. It comes and goes and stays when im at a low.
cant look in a mirror without hurting myself, its almost unbearable just to feel my body in contact with the floor, the way its shaped makes me feel so sick and angry...i have a strong feeling i am not who this person is, feels like someone has altered me without me knowing. inside and out.

how can i get through this feeling without destroying myself? does anyone else get this..how do you cope?


i have a strong feeling i am not who this person is, feels like someone has altered me without me knowing. inside and out.
The following may help, or it may not. But what you said reminded me of certain things. I watched this series of 'U-Tube' Videos recently -


Michael Tsarion - Subversive Use of Symbolism (1 of 11)

There are 11 in the series.

Pt 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQoWbizsbc8&NR=1

Pt 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF6rfZ_zPv4

Pt 4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-Rj6JQ4Mpg

Pt 5 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod_oEc9sKY

The general gist of it is that symbolism & very powerful techniques are used in the mass media, advertising, & in the societal influences that we are exposed to every day. This is not a new idea.

A lot of how we feel is very much influenced by our environment. We are impacted greatly by things that most people have little to no awareness of.

I don't think it surprising that so many people are so messed up; simply because they live in a Westernised Culture.

Personally I have found it helpful to try to have as much awareness of things as possible. I hardly watch TV, I question main stream media, & try to have as critical a mind as is possible. There are a number of ways of finding out & looking at the many ways in which we are manipulated, controlled, subverted, influenced & psychologically altered.

Anyway; as I said - it may help to look at this angle - or it may not?
Last edited:


Well-known member
Oct 10, 2009
London, UK
Thanks, that's an interesting point, i too hold the opinion that westernised culture is a soul destroying cancer..i will have a look at the videos.
Do you listen to resonance fm? I find it is a welcome relief from the mainstream "media", even though most of the stuff they play is weird experimental music but they have a show where they broadcast speakers corner which i love..


Hi Swan I haven't heard of them - I will check it out. Happy Christmas - I hope that you are feeling a little better :hug:
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