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Hate God

Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,387
@hicks, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche (not the most salubrious of Buddhist teachers, I'll admit) said praying to a creator god was like running to the teacher when your being picked on at school, protect me and give me what I want and I'll worship you. I once told a Christian friend who was praying for a load of money the folowing - pray for a milllion with one hand and shit in the other and see which one you get first.
 
hicks

hicks

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
848
Location
In a galaxy, far far away..
All I can say about prayer is, I never once heard a therapist, counsellor or psychologist recommend that as a valid treatment for mental health issues.
 
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PsychoPrince

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
125
Location
Indy
God raped Eve and he is raping me. He has created the devil and the serpent. He is not good. We deserve better. We need a human girl that wants to be our mother and allow us to live in the light. That is my permanent view and response. This god is a sadist.
I wonder if it ever occurred to you that the Devil is the one whispering these things in your ear and doing these things to you? God kind of promised to destroy the Devil in the future, you may consider being a little nicer to the guy who gave you the chance to exist.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
457
Location
USA
I wonder if it ever occurred to you that the Devil is the one whispering these things in your ear and doing these things to you? God kind of promised to destroy the Devil in the future, you may consider being a little nicer to the guy who gave you the chance to exist.
God made the devil and is giving him this power over me. FUCK HIM, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. FUCKING HATE LIFE!!!
 
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PsychoPrince

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
125
Location
Indy
God made the devil and is giving him this power over me. FUCK HIM, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. FUCKING HATE LIFE!!!
The only one giving the Devil power over you is you. Prayer, medication, and possibly contacting law enforcement (assuming you are currently being abused) will relieve the Devil of his hold on you. Apart from that all I can say is ceaselessly ranting and cursing will not bring you further along the road to recovery.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
457
Location
USA
He has clearly shown me that he believes it is his right to sexually experiment on me. He is raping me everyday. He will not allow me to recover from the past. He wants me in my place.
 
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PsychoPrince

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Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
125
Location
Indy
He has clearly shown me that he believes it is his right to sexually experiment on me. He is raping me everyday. He will not allow me to recover from the past. He wants me in my place.
The place God wants you in is a place of endless joy. God isn't raping you, someone childish who thinks he's God is tormenting you, whether it be a manifestation of the psychotic, demonic, or an evil person. I stand by; you MUST contact law enforcement if someone is abusing you. You MUST medicate if you want to rid yourself of this feeling. It's so hurtful to see you convinced that God hates you when in truth He loves you so much He will invite you to live with Him forever in a place without war or pain or crying if you simply return His love. Understand Sallimae76, GOD LOVES YOU and whomever would try to convince you otherwise is LYING.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
457
Location
USA
I am leaving this forum. Goodbye. Fucking hate god, hate life. Tells me to burn non stop and rapes me every night. I know he is doing this to other girls and calling it a test. Fucking sadist.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
Messages
1,298
Location
Sheffiield
How does this invisible force (God) rape you every night?

I know from personal experience how voices can have a physical effect on the body but I didn't know yours was doing it to you.

Myself and at least one other member have had sexual abuse from voices.

I'm sorry you feel it's time to leave the forum, I was hoping you'd stay and tell us what effect medication has on your voice (if any) when you eventually get them, I think I remember you saying your medical insurance kicks in early October. Many members here can attest to medication having an effect on voices, for some they go away completely either straight away or over time, for me it reduces the volume to pitiful level and puts a stop to the physical abuse mine did to me.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
457
Location
USA
I started meds today. Not the injection, but oral medication. The thing is NWiddi, I believe god has allowed the devil to do this to me. I wrote a couple of poems about the devil in college, and a paper, and I think god is doing this to me as a punishment.

Almost every night an energy moves through my body that gives me the ability to climax. Something is having sex with me. I tell him he does not have my permission, but then he only goes away for a day or two, them comes back.

While I was filling my prescription at the pharmacy, someone walked by me and said "cross". I will always believe that I am surrounded by beings that can see me when I can't see them, and they believe they are testing me, including my family members.

But I have started the medication. And if it works, I will let you know. Took my first dose today.

I am not strong like you NWiddi, and can't live like this for a lifetime. As you know I just started this new job. It pays well and is in a dream location. It breaks my heart that it looks like I will have to leave it. I will seek shelter in a group home if I can not cope.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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May 6, 2017
Messages
1,298
Location
Sheffiield
I'm glad you have medication, it may take a short while to kick in.

If it does work would you be willing to entertain the idea that it may not be God or the Devil if their power can be stopped or severely diminished by one little pill each day?

My voice told me he was God and the Devil at times and said things like I would die in my sleep but he never seemed to have the power to do it, it was just scare tactics to keep me up all night talking to him. Now I'm the one with all the power and my voice is at my mercy, something I have very little of when it comes to my voice.

I never really believed in God or the Devil as a child but I had Christian beliefs pushed on me by my schools (infants and junior) with them making us sing hymns and praying and by the beavers, cubs and scout movements I was a part of with their church parades and their oath that we had to recite at the beginning of every session (I promise to do my duty to God and to the Queen etc...).

When my world was turned upside down by hearing a voice that wasn't my own I did entertain the idea when my voice claimed to be God or the Devil but it didn't last long, he moved on to another deception when I started learning about spirituality and claimed to be my Higher Self instead, he'd claimed to be so many other things during my experience that the more he changed the less I believed him so eventually made my own mind up as to what he is.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
457
Location
USA
Mine really does sound like the devil, and I also hear a "frying" sound. I have gotten messages that I am a "lying" woman and an "immoral" woman. From strange men and even from my brother and other family members.

I have made mistakes, like everyone else, but I think I am a good egg, and I don't think I deserve this.

I know it is just a voice, but the tone and the pitch DRIVE ME CRAZY!.

I will admit to you that I am scared.

You are one of the few people on this forum that I like talking to. Thank you for your kindness, and for sharing your story.
 
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