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Hate from family members?

  • Thread starter TheSadnessWillLastForever
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TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

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Oct 28, 2019
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I recently SELF harmed again and tho I tried to keep it a secret my stepdad found out. We are really close and I love him like a second father but I don't understand his reaction to this. He's not concerned or sad he's angry at me and now he wants nothing to do with me. I'm devastated to lose him but if that's what he wants that's what he'll get. Has anyone else experienced this?
 
G

goodgollymiss

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hugs. Well I hope you find someone to confide in. Could you ask your mom what to do. Maybe write a letter for when he cool down
 
Prince of Cinders

Prince of Cinders

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I've had this happen with friends, but not with family.

I attempted to hurt myself in 2010 in a more permanent fashion, and after the fact had people who were "friends" who told me how selfish I was, and how doing that wasn't going to solve anything, etc.

The argument i fired back was that me trying to stop physical and emotional pain with them just wanting me to be around so *they* felt better, was the epitome of selfishness on their part.

Those people got angry and discontinued the friendship, which only drove my point home (to me) even more cogently.

Something I've learned along the way was from a great teacher I had once upon a time. He told me that "All anger in the world stems from the thwarting of our will". In a nutshell, we get angry when we want something and it doesn't occur, or that we don't want something to happen that does occur. While knowing that didn't help me always deal with my own personal issues, it was a great instructional device seeing how other people reacted to things.

His anger, if I were to make a slightly uneducated guess, is that he genuinely doesn't want you to hurt yourself, but he doesn't know how to approach that situation in a more constructive manner. He may just need some cooling down time, or to brush up on exactly what's going on with your situation.

Hopefully, you're able to maintain a good relationship with him going forward and that things work out for the better.
 
Antimatter

Antimatter

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As mentionef by Prince... maybe he just doesn"t know how to deal with it x
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I am so sorry your stepdad is not able to understand what you are going through. I attempted suicide at 19 and my mum ignored me for a long time afterwards. She only had to talk to me again as I was living with her.
 
Antimatter

Antimatter

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I struggled at 19, anxiety and depression were not recognised in the 1990's
 
AlwaysinCrown

AlwaysinCrown

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Try to talk to him in neutral place and tell about your problems. Maybe you become closer to him and he will accept you more.
 
A

anne1999

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Jan 8, 2019
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I'm sorry for how you feel. I try to hide it all from my family as best as I can but I feel they will find out soon. As a rationalisation I feel it is very hard for people who have not struggled with mental health to not understand such behaviours. If you are close I think it is the best to give him some time for him to realise that not all the people are the same and some of us have such methods of coping. I hope it will get better and I am very very sorry for what you are going through...
Sending lots of love and understanding your way!
 
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