• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Hate, Anger desperate.

Dreabie

Dreabie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2012
Messages
111
Location
Sheffield
Not sure where to rant this but here goes. I find hate my husband he treats me like a second class person just because he works he earns it's his at least I use to get my money in benefits now nothing. He thinks a pat on the back a ruffle of hair is all said and good. I know he works hard for funk sake and yes I am proud of what he has accomplished but I absolutely hate him when he is like this it is just another firm of mental abuse. I moved to thus god forsaken country. I am the one who is funking lonely the one with no life . I am the one left at home everyday. Every time he goes away . I have to bring our girls up. But I forgot that is not a job especially as they are older now. I am the one that is never good enough when he's away and they want him. . Does he know this course he funking doesn't I just sit on my fat arse. Now he's thinking of starting up on his own and wants me to work for him are you ready for Free. It seems that that is all I am worth and what he does give me I should be eternally grateful. Does he care....
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2014
Messages
9,757
Location
North of England, UK
I'm a bloke. But I can understand your sentiments, because my own Mother has expressed similar ideas.

The fact is that child-rearing and stay at home mothers, are not seen as working. They pay not be in paid work, that's true. But they are labouring, that is, doing much that is necessary, but often goes insufficiently recognized and appreciated.

Our society and culture fails to make a proper distinction between work that pays a wage, and labour. For example, if I go and stack shelves in a supermarket and earn a wage for it, that's work. But if I cook and meal for my family, and get the children dressed and take them to school, then that's labour. It's unpaid, but it is necessary and time-consuming, just as is paid employment.

I think there is a real case for introducing a guaranteed income for all persons, once they reach school leaving age. And I definitely believe in remuneration for stay at home mothers (and fathers too, if the mother opts to take up paid employment instead), paid out of general taxation if necessary.

As for working for your husband for free. Tell him if he wants to employ you, you will only do it if he pays you the going rate for the job. And he assists with domestic chores too, or pays someone to do it for you :)
 
Dreabie

Dreabie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2012
Messages
111
Location
Sheffield
Thank and so nice to have a man's point of view. Still I am sure that you would give your wife her own money. He doesn't at all and often goes out to work leaving nothing for me to buy essentials. I have to ask. So not right. I have been mentally ill for a long time and at the moment my thoughts are clearer. Maybe because I am not so reliant on him I am noticing how controlling he has got. Or maybe we are growing apart. X
 
N

Nicola398

Guest
Dreabie,You are not wrong and a controlling person won't give his wife her own money because he wants to know everything you use it for.No don't agree to work for him for free and tell him you are not happy and want a monthly sum of money for your own use and extra for household expenses and some for the kids needs too.
If he doesn't agree I would consider a trial separation see if that is the kick up the a**e he needs.
You have given up a lot to come here and raise his kids and you deserve a lot more consideration than he is giving to you.Having mental issues and illness can have a lot to do with whether we are valued and recognized for what we are worth and we can get ill if people close to us are ignoring or undermining our needs , wants and feelings.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
B I hate many people. They disgust me Personality Disorders Forum 37
L Do i really hate people? Personality Disorders Forum 11
G Book..."I HATE YOU, DON'T LEAVE ME" Personality Disorders Forum 5
L schizoid and hate, is this normal? Personality Disorders Forum 6
E Hate retreating Personality Disorders Forum 4
L Why does everyone hate me!? Personality Disorders Forum 2
K are schizotypals prone to anger Personality Disorders Forum 2
wraziel I'm triggerin my anger by myself D: Personality Disorders Forum 3
S Anger Personality Disorders Forum 4
H Anger Personality Disorders Forum 5
L How do I manage my constant resentment and random anger? Personality Disorders Forum 1
X I need some help with my anger Personality Disorders Forum 3
G Anger or empathy Personality Disorders Forum 1
American Boy I need some anger mamagement Personality Disorders Forum 2
R Anger and Rage Personality Disorders Forum 8
T have i got a personality disorder or just depression ?desperate for advice Personality Disorders Forum 5
G PLEASE ANYONE ADVISE ME IM DESPERATE and scared what the hell is the matter with me Personality Disorders Forum 2
N Desperate for help in a terrible state for mental health assistance Personality Disorders Forum 4
F can anyone help me with this ?? im becoming desperate Personality Disorders Forum 2
U Desperate for help, I don't know what's wrong with me Personality Disorders Forum 7

Similar threads

Top