- Feb 27, 2018
I’ve only just been diagnosed with schizophrenia 8 months or so ago. Before I had my first manic episode I genuinely believed I was psychic. I knew where things were before looking for them, and I believed I could control the energy of people around me. I started reading up about it and read somewhere that I should visualize my aura as a certain color depending on my emotions, and imagining a white glowing aura around you would protect you from any bad energies. I did that and it worked, I was literally repelling bad thoughts and bad energies and bad emotions. eventually I could do it for people too, if an argument was about to arise I would visualize a white circle around everyone in the room, sort of visualize the dark, bad energies leaving the circle and things will be good after that. I also read that you should keep a list of all the things you get right, and I did (mentally) the list just kept getting longer. This lasted about a month or so. However I was also occasionally taking psychedelic drugs like LSD. Shortly before I had a psychotic break I took shrooms and had a really bad trip. I was lost in a city I don’t know and I was walking with my sister. We separated and I didn’t know where she was. I walked all over the city looking for her, I was walking for like 5 hours. I couldn’t reach my boyfriend or her because my phone got fucked up after an altercation I got in earlier that day. This was the first time I heard voices, I was hearing my sister and my friends voice and they were giggling and saying “shh she’s coming!” And I thought i was in a game. It was a very confusing experience and I ended up in the hospital. Anyway skip a couple of months I had to come back home (I was in college, first year) to get help. I started getting serious delusions and I had an episode like twice, and I ended up in a mental hospital. I was out after a couple of weeks and I haven’t had an episode since (that was about 8-9 months ago) since I’ve been adhering to my medication (antipsychotics- first risperidone then when I started improving olanzapine) but ever since I’ve started getting “better” my psychic abilities are like gone. I don’t get any vibes or energies or knowing where things are, nothing. I hate it, I felt like I discovered something new and interesting and I was learning how to improve it and control it. Does anyone have a similar experience?