- Aug 8, 2018
For at least the last 15 of my 22 years alive I've constantly suffered from devastating fatigue, extreme brain fog, near-complete physical numbness, complete emotional numbness, dissociation, derealisation, depersonalisation, tingling sensations, random small transparent shaking visual spots that give a false sensation of objects moving, acid reflux, anxiety-altered perception, tension headaches, stuck thoughts, inability to sleep, and constipation. I feel like a constant empty void sleep-walking through life but removed from reality. I have no idea what may have brought on this condition. For many of these years I've falsely hoped that the condition would eventually go away because the symptoms have varied in intensity, but I've since realised that this is not going to happen. I feel so lonely in my situation because my parents disbelieve me and healthcare has so far dismissed my concerns as depression or an obsessive focus on physical sensations because of my ASD. Blood tests have not shown anything out of the ordinary. This is frustrating. With this condition, the fatigue in particular, I will not be able to finish my academic studies and I will not be able to hold down a job. My intent is to seek medical attention again when I've flown back to Stockholm after this summer because I don't really have a thorough medical history there and can thus 'start over' again with medical contact and examination. Has someone been in a similar situation?