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has anyones ex tried for custody

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suki1066

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
105
hello my dd is in hosp, and i have had to make arrangements with the nursery and the other grandma regarding gs care whilst im at work. the gs dad picked him up to day for the night, and said if dd was going to be in for a long time he would go for custody as he is his father. We do have a good relationship the odd spat, but i am concerened about this. Has anyone any experience in this dept, as i dont. many thanks jane
 
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TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
hi

i was in from march to aug 07 and my concern was that my ex would try for custody. i had my mum and dad watching my kids with my partner helping out and nites and weekends, and trying to visit me.

i phoned social services to explain my situation and to ask what was likely to happen. they basically siad that as long as the children were being well cared for and in no danger, things should be ok.

my ex didnt go for custody but was a total arse the whole time on about me being in the nut house etc to my son. nice eh

good luck
 
DiagnosisBipolar2

DiagnosisBipolar2

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
261
Location
Wiltshire
Courts do not grant custody to any one parent willy nilly. There has to be an extremley good reason why one parent should get full custody. Judges will do all they can to keep a child with their mother unless there are extreme circumstances, and good reasons why the mother should not have custody. Having a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder is not one such reason.
 
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suki1066

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
105
thank you both that has made me feel a little better, you know how some poeple are they think shes in the nutty ward and therefor carnt cope, well at times she doesnt very well, but she does have a support system, i wish they had the view, of helping her rather than slagging her off for an illness, nobody is nasty to a cancer victim are they???
i hope this stay will teach her stratagies to cope and deal with swings when she feels them shift, as i find it hard work and do at times get frustrated when the house and her clothes are dirty, more so for alfie. i have to bail her out with money and her rent is 500 which she has spent. she had a bf who had given her coke and im not just blaming him she should say no, but when put in a position where its easy says yes, and id told him she must not take that or drink alot, does anyone listen to me????? no. im so blood angrey this isnt my illness and when i offer what i feel is good advise nobody takes any notice of me, she now is in hosp, awaiting a scan as preg tests come positive, ive got gs and making sure his time will be stable. sorry for ranting on i just want to cry, coz noone is looking after me eaither. husband got upset and pissed when she went in, he didnt sort her out , i did, he didnt even ask how i was. he got told today how i feel im pissed iff with his drinking habbits, her drinking/drug/spending habbits and my son is a lazzy sod. i wonder if they are all this way coz of me , coz i anrnt like it, im calm sensible resposible, and i feel that they all do what they want, bugger the consiqences mum will sort it..... i feel like leaving them all to it... but i dont i cleaned her house , got all her mucky clothes out the house and washed them, im guna go and clean up for when she comes home...... ill sort out my hsbands credit cards again!!!!! and slowly year by year hate them all.. sorry for ranting i just dont know what to do xxxjane
 
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mumto6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
56
Location
Co Durham
I understand your upset , worried and angry.
Firstly you sound like a great Grandma ! My mum does not have much time for my little ones so I could never rely on her support at such a drastic time.

I too feel that "people like me " do produce a stigma - We have a mental Illness therefore must be nutters and by no way able to care for as child.
Well I have 5 children and for as long as 8 years I have suffered with my illness yet my children are well mannered - well dressed - well socialised - top in their class academicaly and popular members of the community - no one would think they had a nutter for a mother!
But is is something I hide from - I do not tell people about my problems.
At times I feel ashamed to be ill.

I do hope she learns some helpful coping techniques but I, more than anyone wish there was a way of dealing with my mood changes.It is not something I am aware of , they just happen. I have no control.

Unfortunalty the money - drugs - letting herself go - are are common arears that our illness likes to take us. I do not and have never taken drugs although I can see why others do. I have spent lots of money I never had and as silly as it may sounds how I would pay it back or would it put me into debt did not cross my mind - when on a spending free who cares? You could shout and rant at me for hours - it would go in one ear and out the other.

A mums job is that hardest in the world x But the most rewarding x
 
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