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Has anyone dealt with the burden of taking care of someone, especially you having panic attacks as a result? How did you overcome them?

frisas45

frisas45

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South Korea
I'm going through this problem, and I want to hear your story for encouragement. How hard was it for you to take care for someone? How did you deal with the stress, especially the panic attacks? Did you have hope that it would turn around? If religious, how did your faith play a part?
 
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gam9147

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can you elaborate? what do you mean by taking care of someone? physically mentally? completely disabled? are they your significant other or friend or parent, or ?

My wife has bipolar and a lot of depression. I have generalized anxiety. When she gets depressed it sometimes feeds into my anxiety and I get either aggravated or have an anxiety attack as happened last night. Can't say I'm dealing with it all that well other than to try to remind myself that it is OK to take time for myself too. we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others.
 
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linus

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Mar 27, 2019
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Eastern Europe
I feel like I couldn’t take care of my son and now it’s too late. He is in an acute psychosis episode and the prognosis is not good at all (2 months later full with meds with the same delusions) and I feel like I could have prevented the start of this with the illegal drugs. For me and my wife is like living with a ghost, he used to be a top math and IT student and now he can barely remember anything or add up numbers in a simple board game. This makes us either full depressed or in full anxiety. I am holding with up with some drugs, which btw I forgot to take them 2 days in a row and I guess going cold turkey with SSRIs it’s not a good thing. Plus we are not taking care of our younger daughter.. so we are all in a mess and we are just trying day by day to make it better than the previous one and hang in here and maybe just maybe a ray of sunshine will come along. In my mind everyhing is chronic and we’ll never recover of this, I just want to die younger, but not leave the others in pain because of my death.
Until then we can only take care of our physical health, sleep and food and hopefully I’ll not become jobless or we’ll starve to death..
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Mar 22, 2019
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242
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South Korea
can you elaborate? what do you mean by taking care of someone? physically mentally? completely disabled? are they your significant other or friend or parent, or ?

My wife has bipolar and a lot of depression. I have generalized anxiety. When she gets depressed it sometimes feeds into my anxiety and I get either aggravated or have an anxiety attack as happened last night. Can't say I'm dealing with it all that well other than to try to remind myself that it is OK to take time for myself too. we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others.
Both physically and mentally. It can be completely disabled and can be anyone.
 
zaatarHoney

zaatarHoney

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Apr 6, 2019
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Lost in the Sauce
My life revolves around taking care of many people mentally/emotionally, but that's my choice.
Taking care of people physical, can also be taxing to our spirits.

It sounds like you may need some time with 'self', to take care of you. How do you exercise your self-care practices?
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Mar 22, 2019
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242
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South Korea
My life revolves around taking care of many people mentally/emotionally, but that's my choice.
Taking care of people physical, can also be taxing to our spirits.

It sounds like you may need some time with 'self', to take care of you. How do you exercise your self-care practices?
I take a walk. Every day. But when I deal with my burdens, the anxiety and misery doesn't go away.
 
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gam9147

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Delaware, USA
it seems to me to be one of the toughest situations ever. Linus it sounds like you are in a very bad spot as well and I am so sorry to hear it for both of you. My thoughts go out to you both.

My mom took care of my dad for almost 10 years where he went from bad to worse from a degenerative cognitive disease. It was extremely hard on her, even though he passed away several years ago she is still reeling from the effects and also from losing her spouse of many many years.

This is also one of my fears/anxieties so I'm not sure I'm the ray of sunshine or hope, but trying to remember that *anyone* in these situations would be sad and anxious, it is a perfectly normal response to such a difficult life event. Do remember to practice self care, it does help even if it doesn't make the problems go away.

Medication is also a good idea for coping. I like to think that affirmations and positive thinking will help over time as well for some people. Definitely you need a support system to help you through this -- friends, relatives, significant other's etc.. that can listen and that you can talk to. Therapy and group therapy are good ideas in this situation as well.
 
zaatarHoney

zaatarHoney

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I take a walk. Every day. But when I deal with my burdens, the anxiety and misery doesn't go away.
I am so sorry to hear that. Practicing self-care can be a great prevenitive for anxiety, as in, we may notice less or none of the symptoms if we constantly stay on top of what we need to do to take care of ourselves. But sometimes, it’s just not enough, and I’m sorry that this weight cannot seem to be lifted from you now.

Is this anxiety something you’ve been coping with prior to this incident of taking care of someone, or did this evoke it?
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Mar 22, 2019
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242
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South Korea
I am so sorry to hear that. Practicing self-care can be a great prevenitive for anxiety, as in, we may notice less or none of the symptoms if we constantly stay on top of what we need to do to take care of ourselves. But sometimes, it’s just not enough, and I’m sorry that this weight cannot seem to be lifted from you now.

Is this anxiety something you’ve been coping with prior to this incident of taking care of someone, or did this evoke it?
I suffered from anxiety prior to taking care of someone, and it wasn't a hard thing to cope. But with this situation, I can't stop it. If I want to stop it, I have to move away from the environment.

Housing prices are high in US, so I had to move to a foreign country.

I'm an American foreigner who lives in South Korea due to high medical costs back in US. Medical costs are cheaper in South Korea I live from paycheck to paycheck from my father.

I cannot move out because I can't get a job because I'm an undergraduate. It's hard to make ends meet in US, and the job market are competitive in Korea.

I suffer from bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia. I get occasional bursts of anger and panic attacks. Thankfully, with the right treatment, my anger is reduced but I am still paralyzed in fear.

My mother is suffering from delusional disorder. She refused to take pills that the doctor required for us to. But thankfully, she is slowly cooperating and her symptoms are slightly improving. Unfortunately, it is still concerning.

She still believes that people are plotting against her, and gets impulsive. Her anger is reduced, but still prevalent.

I've suffered from her for three months and I am terrified. We went through lots of trouble. So if the symptoms don't improve to a complete calm, I get terrified.

She used to take Risperidal. It used to make her feel calm this month until her symptoms relapsed. Then the doctor prescribed her Blonanserin, a rare pill (that is only available in South Korea and Japan) that I currently take.

I know how this pill works. Unlike Risperidal, this pill works immediately and wastes no time- Risperidal took three weeks for it to work on her. Plus, Blonanserin brings no side effects.
But I'm scared that it might not work on her. She still is miserable due to her delusions. When she first took Risperidal, she was calm and happy. When she relapsed, she flew into a rage.

Blonanserin reduced it from the relapse, but did not bring the calm that Risperidal brought. I am disappointed.

But I am hopeful that her cooperative behavior can lead to more help from the doctor. The doctor was displeased about her not following what he says, but she is currently being more cooperative.
 
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gam9147

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wow this is a lot to handle for anyone. Thank you for explaining your situation and I certainly can appreciate the situation your in being very difficult especially with your own issues. Do try to remember you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of her.
 
zaatarHoney

zaatarHoney

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Lost in the Sauce
I suffered from anxiety prior to taking care of someone, and it wasn't a hard thing to cope. But with this situation, I can't stop it. If I want to stop it, I have to move away from the environment.......
I really appreciate you taking the time to elaborate further on your situation. Your original post asks a much more simple question, than what you're facing in your daily reality. This definitely seems like a recipe for chaos.. there are a lot of factors at play here that don't play nice.

May I ask how old you are? And, are you in a position where you'd be able to leave?
 
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