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Harm ocd

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Cammywammy

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Joined
Mar 16, 2020
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7
Location
Doncaster
Does anyone else get future thoughts about hurting loved ones? Like when you have been told your babysitting at the weekend the thoughts come through like. Are you going to kill them? Do you want to kill them? You are going to kill them? I had this the other day it was horrible i started crying saying i wouldnt but why am i having these thoughts. I started saying in my head constantly im going upto relax and chill with my beautiful siblings but this thing kept saying am i going upto to kill them. So at first i didn't want to go but then i thought i need to go against it. Anyway i didn't go in the end. Just wondering if anyone has future thoughts like that? Or does anyone have a thought like after some1 speaks like thats why im going to hurt them? Everytime that happens i shake my head or say well im not am i or fuck off many thanks.
 
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WutheringHeights

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Mar 17, 2020
Messages
104
Location
Europe
I can relate, I used to get very vivid pictures in my head where I would harm others, including loved ones. They were very disturbing but I shared everything with a counselor that I trust and he told me I would never be capable of doing such things. It really calmed me down and even if now and then they pop into my head, I'm not as scared as I used to be.
 
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Trentness

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Mar 17, 2020
Messages
19
Location
Broken Arrow
Hi Cammy,

Definitely. If I know I'm going to be in a future situation that may spark my OCD I used to worry a lot about how it would go or if there was some way to get out of it. This often strengths the OCD though. Remember, If you were a monster you wouldn't feel bad about your thoughts. Evil people don't feel bad about what they do and actually enjoy thinking about it. OCD attacks what means most to you—the thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning opposite of who you truly are. That is why they make you feel bad and souped up on anxiety. Have you read much about "Pure O" OCD?
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Doncaster
Thanks guys i have been diagnosed with intrusive thoughts by a psychiatrist. I start cbt in a couple of months. I often find myself wishing to go back into the past before all of this. Or just dying to protect others. I live my my family so much. But the thoughts are so fast. Everytime i get one i shake my head or say but i don't want to do i. It also questions everything im doing and gives a horrible scenario. I've never ever been like this before in terms of this thinking process. I've read online for erp just to accept the thoughts and accept the worst will happen or has already happened. I tend to do that but every hour or so ill say verbally or in my head love my family or i cant wait for the future when this is gone or other things. What other techniques do you guys use?
 
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Johntron9999

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Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
Thanks guys i have been diagnosed with intrusive thoughts by a psychiatrist. I start cbt in a couple of months. I often find myself wishing to go back into the past before all of this. Or just dying to protect others. I live my my family so much. But the thoughts are so fast. Everytime i get one i shake my head or say but i don't want to do i. It also questions everything im doing and gives a horrible scenario. I've never ever been like this before in terms of this thinking process. I've read online for erp just to accept the thoughts and accept the worst will happen or has already happened. I tend to do that but every hour or so ill say verbally or in my head love my family or i cant wait for the future when this is gone or other things. What other techniques do you guys use?
well are you severly depressed or do you have severe anxiety?? you did not mention that. if you do have those than you tend to think of negative thoughts and if you have bad anxiety than you latch on to the thoughts and they freek you out and you panic. raising seratonin or brain chemicals by medications, antidepressants etc or however you can do that will take the thoughts away and then when a thought comes accross your mind you dont get scared about it and your brain wont go haywire and you will move on. OCD intrusive thoughts is an anxiety disorder usually resulting from depression or low brain chemicals like seratonin or gaba maybe even dopamine. ever notice how when you were younger before you were depressed or anxious these thoughts didnt scare you? thats most likley because youve developed depression and anxiety and when your a kid you havent taken emotional abuse yet and your brain chemistry is working as it should.... so you need to find treatment to raise or balance your brain. therapy and exposer can be enough to snap you out of it but sometimes medication is needed....
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Doncaster
I was fine until December the 2nd of last year my 18th Birthday. Things have happened in my life the psychiatrist said that I've brushed to the back of my head. Etc a uncle dying, nanna getting cancer and being kicked out my home for nearly a year. Plus all that time ive been sat on my gaming console not working just attending college 2 days a week. And football matches. But before all this i was normal. Ive never questioned my sexuality always hated pedos. And looked after my sister for 6 weeks for 7 years in the summer holidays. These thoughts are horrible its just scenarios all the time. There so annoying. I took a seratonin the other day my mums on them. 50mg i felt weird like no emotion i was having thoughts but i was like a robot is that normal?
 
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Johntron9999

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Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
I was fine until December the 2nd of last year my 18th Birthday. Things have happened in my life the psychiatrist said that I've brushed to the back of my head. Etc a uncle dying, nanna getting cancer and being kicked out my home for nearly a year. Plus all that time ive been sat on my gaming console not working just attending college 2 days a week. And football matches. But before all this i was normal. Ive never questioned my sexuality always hated pedos. And looked after my sister for 6 weeks for 7 years in the summer holidays. These thoughts are horrible its just scenarios all the time. There so annoying. I took a seratonin the other day my mums on them. 50mg i felt weird like no emotion i was having thoughts but i was like a robot is that normal?
whoa dont go taking your moms medication. you have to go to a doctor or phychiatrist and tell them exactly how you are feeling and they will decide what medication is right for you. dont go taking someone elses medication trust me on that it can make you feel worse. do not self medicate let the doctor decide. make an appointment with ur doctor and he will fix you up and chances are what he gives you will make you feel alot better
 
vulch

vulch

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Jan 3, 2020
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up in the clouds
Just poppin' in to say I relate very much to the obsessive thoughts of harm, both to others and myself, I wish you all the luck in the world, but do as @farcry22 said and do NOT take your mom's meds!! Please go to a doctor and get proper medication!!
 
vanish

vanish

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Hey @Cammywammy it is never wise to take another's medication, whether it is prescription or over the counter meds. Only a doctor can decide if you require medication and what medication that should be (as well as the dose). I would suggest it is far better if you see a doctor yourself and see what they have to say. If they decide to put you on some medications, please only take them as prescribed.
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Doncaster
Cheers for help guys. This thing is horrible. It questions everything im doing or about to do. It makes up like scenarios or like stories because i overthink onto the next thing can any1else relate? I was diagnosed with intrusive thoughts last week. Just want these scenarios to stop. And im always thinking the worse for the future like i cant see myself doing well because ill be in prison its horrible.
 
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Johntron9999

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Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
Cheers for help guys. This thing is horrible. It questions everything im doing or about to do. It makes up like scenarios or like stories because i overthink onto the next thing can any1else relate? I was diagnosed with intrusive thoughts last week. Just want these scenarios to stop. And im always thinking the worse for the future like i cant see myself doing well because ill be in prison its horrible.
You need to calm down ur anxiety which medication can do. They raise brain chemicals and than the anxiety you have now won't be in overdrive and the thoughts won't cycle constantly through your head and they will vanish. Talk to your doctor about proper medication and therapy and it will get much better
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
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Doncaster
Just want to get back to my old self i love my family so much we argue and i act up but i wouldn't go that far. Im regularly saying in my head protect my sisters name or love her or kill myself to protect her. Anyone else do this? Is that a reassuring or a ritual?
 
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Johntron9999

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Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
Just want to get back to my old self i love my family so much we argue and i act up but i wouldn't go that far. Im regularly saying in my head protect my sisters name or love her or kill myself to protect her. Anyone else do this? Is that a reassuring or a ritual?
im not sure if its a ritual it could just be ur trying to reassure yourself thats common when you have scary thoughts. as i said tho go see your doctor and tell him about this because its an anxiety disorder and there are alot of treatments that work so you dont have to suffer
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
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Location
Doncaster
I have last Tuesday i was diagnosed with intrusive thoughts i start high tier cbt in a month. Its horrible in the meantime it creates some fucked up scenarios.
 
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Cammywammy

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Mar 16, 2020
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Location
Doncaster
Just to lwt everyone know im fine now. Its been 8 weeks nearly. Im half way back to my normal self id say. Ive been home for 8 weeks still get the thoughts but they dont cause me anxiety any more really cos im bearing them and theyve changed loads. I just get annoyed cos im like wish theyed just go now cos theres no point of em being in my head but i march through so guess im winning. Also i go against and give my sister a hug or say i love you so that deflates the thoughts. Also ive had 2 cbt sessions over the phone so im on the road to recovery. Also best tips is to stop going on youtube videos or stop browsing google because everyone stories are different. Also TALK many thanks everyone on this forum its mad how 8 weeks ago it was so strong and possessed all my head but now its less and not as potent. Ill be back if im low again or to help others this is proof how fast time can change. Ps F intrusive thoughts.
 
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