- Jun 29, 2008
Ive been experiencing mental health problems now for nearly seven years and still feel that ive been cheated out of the life i should have had. I was a nurse in a job i loved, a respected mother and member of the community, and a wife who could successfully run a household. I lost my job and could never return to the same profession, I dont feel that my children have half the respect for me that they used to and cant do more than one thing at a time do to memory problems and lack of confidence. Problems as a child left me with so much baggage and horrendous nightmares. I feel like crying all the time and regularly struggle with thoughts of self harm. All this from a forty-four year old woman who doesnt like who she is and feels ashamed with being so reliant on others twentyfour hours a day. I panic if im left alone for more than ten minutes at a time and am severly phobic of the dark. (all the above occuring since the breakdown approximately seven years ago) Im not sure that i should post this as it all sounds so pathetic and like i just feel so sorry for myself. Im still on a waiting list to see a psychologist as i need help to learn to live with this, something i still cant do after several years. My huspand has stood by me through all this and if it wasnt for him i wouldnt still be here. I need to know if there are others who really feel this desperate so much of the time? and if so can they suggest anything at all that might give me some hope that i may be the person i once was again, or at least some part even close. I know without the meds id feel a lot worse cause i tried that once.Ive avoided posting since i joined so if i dont now i dont think i ever will.