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Hard life choices. Over nothing.

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
Yesterday, I ate some greasy food and my stomach hurted a bit. I took some-over-the-counter medications and felt fine. But I began to worry for no damn reason. This Tuesday, I got a stomachache for sipping coffee. Although I felt fine this Wedenesday, my stomach has gotten weakened or something. So I called the doctor, and if I'm doing worse, I need to come. Doing better, nothing. I mean, it's stupid. I should've gone right to the doctor. It's close by! But with my anxiety, I couldn't think straight.
This angered my family. They accused me for having no life experience. Mature people should keep their mouths shut. That makes us stronger. Since we were grown in Asian backgrounds, we have to do that. "You're going to the hospital for your liver shots," they said (I have high liver enzyme). "You could've asked them then." Talking to them often due to a miniscule reason can annoy them. I'm confused. Is keeping my mouth shut the right thing? I'm feeling fine, no need to call, and the doctor said it was unnecessary. And I pissed everyone off due to my anxiety. Asking them too often. Complaining them too often.

So here's my point. I should talk to them only things are important. If not, don't take too much stock ito it. But my anxiety clouds my judgment.

And to those people who tell me to go to a psychiatrist: My doctor did give me meds, but they don't work. They're mostly benzodiazepines, and non- benzos don't work, either. And he is baffled. I decided to go to counselling, and that proved to work better.

But I get confused. No one told which ones are okay to tell, and which ones aren't. Which ones aren't important, and which ones aren't. Sometimes, I have trouble judging them. In some Asian cultures, it is recommended to not to talk AT ALL. But as an American, this shit doesn't fly. My biggest worry is, this might ruin my relationships with others around me. If I keep everything to myself, I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind. My anxiety is SEVERE. And not only that, I grew up in an isolated environment. So my life skills are LOW at this point. Some say do your research through books. But they blabber about how critics are losers, or listen to all of your critics to be a successful person. It's better off diving into the pool of trial-and-error. But I have to do it fast, or else I'll be branded as immature. In a place where I live, I have to grow up fast. Or else I get stigmatized.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
284
Location
On The Train
The stomach issues can come from your medications also BTW. I had an Asian father (died) and his side of the family definitely look down on me for having issues with anxiety and depression. They don't understand at all and think I should buck up :rolleyes:

It's difficult when you can't talk to your family and how they think putting you down will make you better somehow rather than being supportive and loving.
:hug:
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
The stomach issues can come from your medications also BTW.
Actually, coffee and greasy foods caused my stomach to rile up. The medications are meant to ease the pain. I can't digest anything too greasy. But thanks for your empathy!
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
I had an Asian father (died) and his side of the family definitely look down on me for having issues with anxiety and depression. They don't understand at all and think I should buck up :rolleyes:

It's difficult when you can't talk to your family and how they think putting you down will make you better somehow rather than being supportive and loving.
:hug:
Even people around me is an Asian. Not everyone is, but they say some pretty bad stuff. Like, going to the military would cure all the mental illness. They believe that it is a weakness that needs to be improved. Very primitive. And they would boast about how difficult their lives were, and I don't deserve to blurt out my problems. Their invalidation doesn't encourage me at all. If they said this in an ecouraging way, I'm cool with that. But these folks talk in a way that is condescending and contemptuous, which prevents me from being encouraged.
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
427
Location
California, USA
Hi frisas!

Just letting u know I didnt forget about you and I will respond soon!
 
J

Jules5

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Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,577
Location
Florida
Hi Frisas I am fro the United States and my family too does not recognize my mental illness. It is tough as I can become very mentally unstable at times and I am only crucified. No getting help or recognizing that I have serious mental delusions. Not sure if you have the same symptoms. But we definitely have family that ignores our mental health issues.

When I eat greasy foods I become very ill. I do not know if it is my mental illness acting up or the food. I am not a good eater. I do not talk much around my family. If I do it causes Havoc. I can understand how you are feeling. I know we live in different cultures but mental health is bias everywhere. All I can do is eat dinners with family and stay quite. No Fear and No Worries Jules
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
Hi Frisas I am fro the United States and my family too does not recognize my mental illness. It is tough as I can become very mentally unstable at times and I am only crucified. No getting help or recognizing that I have serious mental delusions. Not sure if you have the same symptoms. But we definitely have family that ignores our mental health issues.

When I eat greasy foods I become very ill. I do not know if it is my mental illness acting up or the food. I am not a good eater. I do not talk much around my family. If I do it causes Havoc. I can understand how you are feeling. I know we live in different cultures but mental health is bias everywhere. All I can do is eat dinners with family and stay quite. No Fear and No Worries Jules
I suffer from paranoid disorder and bipolar disorder. It's hard to deal with your family who is in denial of your mental disorder. Can you find help yourself? I'm sure you can afford it, right?
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
427
Location
California, USA
Hi again frisas!

It's ok to not have everything figured out. Nobody's perfect and nobody knows everything and what exactly to do in every situation. How's your stomach feeling now? Do you think you'd be better off eating lighter food like fresh fruits or drinking tea?

I understand how frustrating it is to communicate with a different generation. Sometimes I think it's obvious to show a little more compassion when someone is suffering, but each generation has different sets of values and beliefs; it's truly heartbreaking and perplexing! I hope you can find like minded individuals in Korea.
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

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Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
204
Location
UK
I like drinking miso soup and warm water with lemon (through a straw) when my tummy hurts.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
284
Location
On The Train
I talked to a nutritionist once. She said that people from other countries that relocate to the United States often have issues with digestion because of the way we process out food (a lot of it is done in a unhealthy way to max profits, esp rice and wheat). She said that is a common complaint when someone seeks out her advice, they say they are eating the exact same diet as their home country but now they have all of these gastric issues or are gaining weight.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
I talked to a nutritionist once. She said that people from other countries that relocate to the United States often have issues with digestion because of the way we process out food (a lot of it is done in a unhealthy way to max profits, esp rice and wheat). She said that is a common complaint when someone seeks out her advice, they say they are eating the exact same diet as their home country but now they have all of these gastric issues or are gaining weight.
I'm living in South Korea and I lost a lot of weight. Back in the States, I gained a lot of weight but had no stomach/intestinal issues.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
193
Location
South Korea
Do you think you'd be better off eating lighter food like fresh fruits or drinking tea?
I drink tea, and it makes my stomach rile up (only caffeinated ones). Better take decaf. Since I had diarrhea (which I am recovering), I stayed off of fruits. Now I can eat as much as I want...
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
427
Location
California, USA
Hi frisas!

Try eating more fiber like vegetables and bread. I know that stress can cause indigestion too! Is there something that you like to do that can help you relax?
 
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