what are we then? i dont no what to do. so much of the time i feel like my brain is crawling with some kinda disease. like there are bugs swarming, consuming everything that is me. then other times, i feel like fuckin mary ppoppins. i dont get no super power shit. just supreme well-being. doctors aint interested cos i get da grades and function overall. i aint really interested in dem cos all dey got to offer is meds, which in my case jus relieve me o da responsibility to take cotrol o my actions. so im jus caught in da fuckin middle. my brain fuckin feels like ur computer tryin to run dat super fast game or whatever wit a hundred other things goin on nd a virus progressin jus for kicks. da only ting is wine. my only redeemer. all i got right now is this idea of a girl. 1 girl. cant fuckin stop tinkin bout . now i aint sure if it guna go newhere. i get da whole fuckin "friendly" message. chums, but only when it suits. i dont no what to do. half o me wants to marry her, da other wants to tear her fuckin face into shreds. who fuckin knows. who knows.