Had Enough

[invise]

Hi everyone,

I just want to rant and let something out, im sitting here flooding in tears and so light headed right now. I hate my life. My parents came in earlier and asked if I wanted to go to a pub quiz with them and my sister. They were like "we never go out together, it'll be nice". Fair enough. But i had already made plans to go out with some mates ive not seen in months because they were away at uni - now their back for easter. Ive got sooo much uni work to do, and id put aside tonight especially to see them. When I told my mum she flipped and started throwing all this guilt trip at me. I know I need to spent time with them, but I also need to see my friends, so how do i chose?
I couldnt, so they left without me after a huge argument, and I text my friends sayin i wasnt coming out. I just feel so low and miserable I want to hide. I know im gonna hvae to speak to my parents when they get in later, pissed as farts. Im dreading it.
I dont have any friends left in the town where I live. They all moved out to university in the city about 30 miles away. I get the train in and out when Ive got uni, but its so akward seeing them and keeping in touch. They obviously work, and so do i, and their flats are very near to my uni, they go to the other one. So I never get to see them, and I feel like ive been left behind. I was so looking forward to going out, then it was ruined.
I want to move out and get my own flat. I can afford to, ive worked it out. I have plenty money to rent somewhere. That way id be near my friends again, im forever hearing about them just going round to each others flats to "watch a video" or "have some grub" or "a few bears". Nothing overly exciting or extravegant, but they get to see each otehr!! meanwhile im left sitting all alone at home, isolated and bored stiff because i never get to see them any more. My parents dont want me to move out because they say I should be saving up to buy somewhere. Hello! cretit f'in crunch, extremely stupid house prices here! Whats wrong with renting a flat? In five or six years time i should have enough savings to buy what ever I do. Then they go on about "invest your money into life funds" and all this kind of rubbish. Whats the point in that if i dont feel like im living??!!
I have no idea what to do. I went to the shop and bought heaps of wine and sweets, and im thinking about cutting myself. The doctor said that I need to get more adrenaline rushes to stimulate getting better. To get happier or whatever. But i never feel like going out running, and music doesnt give me the rush it used to , I hate it. That alone gets me down. But surely a little cut would get adrenaline flowing? maybe it would help.
Anyway, Im such a mess tonight. Sorry for boring you if you got this far.

 

[keepsafe]

Hey hey,

You should have gone out with your friends anyway, I know its not that easy but you had already done with the other option. Is it too late to go out with your friends now??
Go to bed before your parents come in so you dont have to talk to them when they are pissed - it is no fun doing that.
KS

 

[john2054]

Pls read this.

Hi invise, i totally feel your pain man! I'm like you only another ten years down the line (im 28 btw). What can i say, it gets easier in time. My old mates have all moved away. So what, ive made new ones. Me ive had 4 stints in hospital, 1st for a broken neck in 97, and then 3 times in the past few years for 14+ months! Trust me you dont wanna do that! Drugged up to the eyeballs and stuck in the building. You should count yourself lucky. Ive even taken up karate and last week got my 1st belt (red).

 

[iheartpandas20]

hey

hey man, how did your evening turn out? i know how awful it is to feel disconnected from your friends. i moved to ye olde granite city about this time last year. I thankfully moved in with my boyfriend, but i felt so lonely without my friends around me. i still get that way alot, i miss the people who know me inside out, the ones that i can just turn up at their flat and theyll put on crappy movies coz they know im sad! ive now made a lot of good friends and thats infinitely helpful. is there much chance of making friends nearer your home? perhaps organising a few beers and films nights at your place could help?

Moving away from home is difficult to start with, especially with unsupportive parents. however, what youll lose in money, you make up with life experience! you learn so much and grow a lot from having to stand on your own feet! perhaps you could realistically start looking at flat prices in the city, job opportunities and discuss it with your parents?

wee ramble for you!

Pandas

 

[autumn11]

Sometimes you just gotta accept that your parents don't know what is best for you. Moving out for university was one of the best things I ever did, my relationship with my parents got TEN times better. I still see my family once a week or every two weeks, but we never fight anymore. I used to fight all the time when I lived at home.

DO IT! You can worry about buying a house later, your uni years are meant to be the best, make them so!

 

[jamesdean]

I personally would get a place of your own I moved out when I was only 16 and even though a couple of times I tried to go back home it never worked out even less so when I became physically un well