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Habit of hiding emotion and negative thoughts from others does not go away

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Turingmachine

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Germany
Hi,

I have opened up several times to my parents and a psychologist(ca. 5 sessions) about my problems, but as it builds up again over the days and weeks I still try to hide everything or avoid making it a topic(Facing away when in tears) and avoiding contact in general.
 
S

Someonehere

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2020
Messages
4
Location
USA
sorry for what you're going through. But think like this, we all have emotions, everyone cries, and it's ok to be embrace them. They're a stepping stone to healing and getting help. How can others help if they don't know what you're going through?
 
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Turingmachine

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Germany
sorry for what you're going through. But think like this, we all have emotions, everyone cries, and it's ok to be embrace them. They're a stepping stone to healing and getting help. How can others help if they don't know what you're going through?
Thank you for taking some of you'r time to reply.

"How can others help if they don't know what you're going through?"
You'r absolutely right. I can rationally understand that if I don't communicate what I am feeling than there is just no path to a more positive situation. My problem is that I am often in a state of mind where I am incapable of being persuaded and act on rational explanations. I cling onto thought patterns that ignore/push away any rational conclutions. Right now I am mostly calm, but when I try to approach someone about my problems or are generaly in a worse mood, I avoid the conversations because I sorta fear the necessary change that might be a consequence of those conversations.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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6,877
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This is still all new to you. You are not used to opening up. You are doing so well to have therapy and in time it will get easier opening up. It can be very difficult to at first. I remember you could not be open with your parents at all so you have made progress.
 
T

Turingmachine

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Germany
This is still all new to you. You are not used to opening up. You are doing so well to have therapy and in time it will get easier opening up. It can be very difficult to at first. I remember you could not be open with your parents at all so you have made progress.
I guess you're right. I actually stopped therapy because we sort of came to the obvious conclusion that I need to do something were I met people regularly. I know he is right, but something didn't feel right. I didn't feel like he completely understood me and didn't ask the right questions. I don't even know myself.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
Messages
6,877
Location
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I am surprised your therapist stopped therapy with that belief. How can you meet others when you are feeling the way you do? I wonder if you may need to find another therapist. It sounds like the one you had were not understanding.
 
A

Am33

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Joined
Sep 28, 2020
Messages
210
Location
Fiji
Think of your emotions as fluid like a ocean. When the ocean is calm everything is great peaceful . Now a negative thought enters your ocean what does it do ? It stirs up your ocean like a storm creates high waves .Once the ocean is stirred up its very hard to get calm again . The word emotion stands for energy in motion .Once we understand that we know we can redirect positive energy to overcome the negative energy and calm the ocean again . Spoken word affirmations work great visualizations too. Another good technique I do too is you can go somewhere where you wont be heard and get your feelings out you want to yell do it , again emotions are like water they have to flow or just like water they turn stagnant .
 
D

Dispatch

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Feb 9, 2020
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532
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USA
bravo Am33 excellent advice 👍
 
N

Nina24

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Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
44
Location
UK
[QUOTE="Am33
Think of your emotions as fluid like an ocean. When the ocean is calm everything is peaceful. When a negative thought enters your ocean it stirs it up like a storm, creating high waves, making it hard to calm again.
The word emotion stands for energy in motion.Once we understand that we know we can redirect positive energy to overcome the negative energy and calm the ocean again.
Spoken word affirmations work great, visualizations too. Another good technique is to go somewhere you wont be heard and get your feelings out; if you want to yell do it. Again, emotions are like water and have to flow or just like water they turn stagnant .
[/QUOTE]

Am33 such wise words and brilliant advice!
@Turingmachine I've spent much of my life hiding my emotions too. It's learned behaviour for me, as no one listened or cared when I tried from an early age to speak about my feelings. So I stopped.
Then when awful things happened as a teenager and adult I already knew how to cry silently.
Try your best to speak to people, if family are unapproachable please find a friend or colleague. You owe it to yourself to be happy.
 
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