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Guilt, trauma of final year in elementary school

C

Chekk

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Sweden
I'm sorry if this is not the right place but it's the closest I could find this to fit in.

I got my social anxiety in 2008, which was one year prior to the final year in elementary school. In the final year it really got to me, I thought everyone hated me. Later that year my teacher asked if I wanted to go to the last school trip and be at the last day graduation thing. I said no to both of those things. Since then I've regretted it so much. It feels like I never finished that chapter in life. And elementary school classmates are something special, you grow up with them for 10 years and I have so many memories of that school.

Years passed and it's hard on me. Every dream has been about at least one of those classmates, and I mean literally 99,9%. And every now and then I dream of that last day, me being there and I always feel that sadness knowing we will all separate and go through our own lives on our own.

Now when I look on Facebook some of those classmates have their own children, some have married and all of them have a job and apartment. I have none of those.

It hurts so bad afterwards when I have a dream like that. I hate having this guilt but it keeps on coming. I can't go back in time.
 
Charmayne

Charmayne

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
19
Location
Newcastle, New South Wales
Hi Chekk,
Sometimes opportunities come through and are missed. I live in Australia and in my final year of schooling I become easily distracted and I didn't perform to the best of my abilities. I still got a good mark but I knew I could've done better if I had applied myself. I too missed out on spending the last few days with my school mates. I came down with the flu. I watched as photos were posted of people who were happy. I got very upset at the time. I have learned however that life has so much to give. If you let yourself get weighed down by every little or big thing then you won't get anywhere. Sometimes you need to sit down and process your trauma/pain/emotions and let them go. This will allow you to move on. If you feel unable to do this, seek help. Therapy was important and useful to me. I learned how to use self care to solve my trauma. It helps.
 
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