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Guilt, shame, regret

M

MoonShade

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Oct 5, 2013
Messages
170
I realized that I have created a lot of the pain and turmoil and pain in my life, especially by responding to imagined abandonment, and I don't know what to do...

I feel so much self loathing that I want to sh because I feel like I deserve pain and suffering and I am trying to have compassion for myself and change my behaviour now that I am aware of it...but the shame and guilt are overwhelming...
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
375
Location
Midwest USA
I realized that I have created a lot of the pain and turmoil and pain in my life, especially by responding to imagined abandonment, and I don't know what to do...

I feel so much self loathing that I want to sh because I feel like I deserve pain and suffering and I am trying to have compassion for myself and change my behaviour now that I am aware of it...but the shame and guilt are overwhelming...
I know shame and guilt are two very powerful emotions, I am sorry you are suffering this way. But you do not deserve to suffer, so please do not sh.

I know you are trying to love yourself, and it's one of the hardest things to do it seems, I still struggle loving myself.

I and so many others are here to listen to you. We have all made mistakes, and we are trying to love ourselves.

You are not alone :)
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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7,535
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England
I think it shows how far you have come to realise these things. Now that you know what you have been doing you can break the cycle. I think you should feel proud of how much insight you have into yourself.

You do not need any punishment. You need compassion. Be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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2,196
I wonder if one possible way forward is learning the lessons, and steering a new path/direction in life...
 
M

MoonShade

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2013
Messages
170
Yeah, thanks, everyone...learning a lot and trying to have self-compassion but really angry at myself for not realizing some things sooner
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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2,196
Far better to focus on progress, being angry at yourself is time wasted on something that is unlikely to bring about positive change. Learn the lessons, if there's lessons to be learned, and put it all behind you, just focus on your next steps. Hope this helps :)
 
Delilah67

Delilah67

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Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
110
Location
Herefordshire
I agree with the others, shame and guilt are such wasted emotions . Yes, it’s good to learn from the lesson and move on but that’s it!
Luckily my memory is crap so I can only remember a fraction of what I’ve done 🤣
 

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