• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Grieving Loss / Depression

M

minniesue

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Home
I cannot get a handle on the pain in my heart and soul resulting from the loss of my husband 4 months ago (12/26/2019).

Add to that confinement due to COVID-19 and I am just not wanting to be here anymore.

I have no ambition, no desire, no motivation to do anything. I just want to leave this world behind.
 
Mario82

Mario82

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,680
Location
UK
Hi minniesue

I am so sorry to hear that you loss your husband, especially around Christmas time. I have had bereavements in the past and they're so hard. All I can really say is that time is a healer (I know it's a cliche but it's true) and things will gradually get better. I realise that COVID-19 is making things even worse for you. I don't know if you are on any medication or anything to ease the depression but something like that might help. Try to take each day as it comes and hold on to memories with your husband, think of the good times.

Your husband wouldn't want you to feel this way, but I know it's really hard, thinking of you. Please don't hurt yourself :hug:
 
P

Princess Zelda

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
728
Location
Pluto
Hello. I'm really sorry to hear about this.
I think it would be a good idea to maybe spend time with family members and have their support.
Like Mario said, take one day at a time. Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling?
I know a lot is going on with the virus, but if you ever get the chance I believe therapy would be able to help.
I am hoping and wishing the best for you.
 
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
4,049
Location
The Land of Oz
I cannot get a handle on the pain in my heart and soul resulting from the loss of my husband 4 months ago (12/26/2019).

Add to that confinement due to COVID-19 and I am just not wanting to be here anymore.

I have no ambition, no desire, no motivation to do anything. I just want to leave this world behind.
My condolences to you, minniesue. Please know you can reach out here to the forums anytime day or night. While we're not professional grief counsellors, we can offer a listening ear and support during this awful time for you. Please know that although your beloved husband may be gone, this is not the end of your story.
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
39,192
Location
West Sussex, England
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling. I’m sure that Covid19 with the lockdown and restrictions is making it even harder for you. I hope that you do have someone to talk to about your feelings, I’m sure that our members will offer support to you.
 
M

minniesue

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Home
Hi minniesue

I am so sorry to hear that you loss your husband, especially around Christmas time. I have had bereavements in the past and they're so hard. All I can really say is that time is a healer (I know it's a cliche but it's true) and things will gradually get better. I realise that COVID-19 is making things even worse for you. I don't know if you are on any medication or anything to ease the depression but something like that might help. Try to take each day as it comes and hold on to memories with your husband, think of the good times.

Your husband wouldn't want you to feel this way, but I know it's really hard, thinking of you. Please don't hurt yourself :hug:

I know that but each day is more difficult... fear for failure is the only thing stopping me right now.
 
M

minniesue

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Home
Hello. I'm really sorry to hear about this.
I think it would be a good idea to maybe spend time with family members and have their support.
Like Mario said, take one day at a time. Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling?
I know a lot is going on with the virus, but if you ever get the chance I believe therapy would be able to help.
I am hoping and wishing the best for you.
Thank you
 
M

minniesue

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Home
Another day . . . I was in bed until mid-afternoon . . . could not make myself get up . . . no reason . . .
 
Mario82

Mario82

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,680
Location
UK
Really wish we could take your pain away minniesue. I know how hard it is x
 
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
4,049
Location
The Land of Oz
Sometimes the simplest things can be a reason, minniesue. I know it's hard though. Please know we're all here to support you. :hug1:
 
P

Princess Zelda

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
728
Location
Pluto
I agree with vanish. A lot of people on this forum will support you so you can definitely talk to us whenever you need to.
 
Lady in Blue

Lady in Blue

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
80
Location
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I cannot get a handle on the pain in my heart and soul resulting from the loss of my husband 4 months ago (12/26/2019).

Add to that confinement due to COVID-19 and I am just not wanting to be here anymore.

I have no ambition, no desire, no motivation to do anything. I just want to leave this world behind.
Hi Minniesue, my condolences on the recent loss of your husband, especially at such a poignant time. There is never any "best" time to lose a loved one through death. My mom died in March of 2018 at home, after years of decline from Alzheimer's and other non-life-threatening health conditions.

Even though I knew it was coming, and it wasn't sudden, the exact moment of her passing was still a shock to my system. Four months into bereavement/grief is very new. Initially, we are caught up with the business and practicalities of death and, no doubt, a number of supporters rally around you initially, then disperse. The shock has warn off, and you feel this immense pain and emptiness and the reality has hit you.

I still live in the same apartment, and now sleep in the same room in which mom died. In earlier days, everything I looked at reminded me of her, and it was like a presence. I went through a number of grief groups and, during COVID, was lucky to be connected to a "virtual" group. The one thing I learned from them - and it isn't what I wanted to hear - is that you never really "get over" the loss, you just find a different way of living around that loss. Your grief is compounded by the numerous losses associated with COVID - loss of the way things were before, loss of income/employment/security/social interaction - while at the same time, the coping resources normally recommended and used to deal with such grief have been taken away from us - even something as simple as meeting someone for tea, or attending a counselling or bereavement group session.

We are encouraged to "reach out", yet we are prevented from doing so physically, and telephone/virtual sessions do not provide the same level of satisfaction/benefit. I am Catholic, so even the mass and the sacraments were closed off to me. The strategies designed to address the pandemic have, in essence, resulted in having to grieve alone and in isolation. The first program I attended after mom died is called Grief Journey (griefjourney.com). The founder and faciltator is a native of, if my memory serves me correctly, Scotland, after losing his young wife suddenly to a heart attack. You might want to check out the website. It's very early days for you yet, and your feelings are "normal". It just makes it more difficult if you, like me, struggle with depression. Grief is hard work, but it is possible to recover to the point where your painful memories will be replaced by more positive and happy memories.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Alarna Bereavement and Mental Health 3
Similar threads
Grieving badly
Top