- Jan 18, 2021
My life without my father is hell, I know my father had to be going home to heaven. His time here on earth was up. I was hurt by the rushing into the hospital room and unable to stopping the hospital staff and just falling by my dad’s bedside and hurt much my father was in pain mental and physical without my mother and me at his bedside just that night before praying he would go peaceful. My pain in my heart was heavy as I felt powerless as I saw my father’s mouth just frozen open wide. As I found he passed away at 10 am that morning. I felt my whole world coming down. March 2017 is when my father went to rest with his parents and my uncle up in heaven. Now as March 2021 is coming up next month. Pain and depression have come over me and I hurt because I was his little Butterfly as he would call when I just a little child and I am now 31 years old and I lose him when I was 27 years old. Due to having lost his fight with cancer after 4 years of it. I have hurt because I was told that if I had not gone down to get myself breakfast that morning in March 2017 I might have been able to say goodbye until next time and how I love you, dad. I felt like just because I needed to eat before I went to take my medication for my bipolar and other issues. I have been feeling like I blame myself for how I could have maybe skipped having breakfast that morning maybe I could have told my dad it would okay and that I love him for being the best dad he could be.