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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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catalyst

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Jun 5, 2010
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England
erm.. well where to start. i suppose i should start with the little details. i am a boy of 17 who has been using cannabis and other drugs (namely speed and methadone) for about 4 years now. i would also like to say that while i was smoking cannabis i bunked the last two years of secondary school, i obviously did not get the GCSE's i wished for but even with an attendance level as low as 35% over two years i still managed to get an A in science and a B in R.E so i obviously am intelligent. i recently quit smoking cannabis (yesterday) after the voices and images i had been hearing/seeing had got much worse. at the start i could see 'ghosts' which were usually identifiable by the way they ignored those around them and often wore out of date clothing. At this time i suffered extreme depression and self-harmed this was caused by the fact that one day i could remember a girl i loved hanging herself in front of me, this was weird as i had never met the girl yet it seemed like i had know her all my life like she was my wife.( odd as at the time i was about 13) It took me a while but i soon figured that it was the girl i loved in my past life. i was haunted for months on end with her death. while these memories where in my head i attempted suicide on multiple occasions. when i eventually got over her death it was with the help of cannabis. then i went to Auschwitz in Poland on an educational tour.on my trip around the concentration camp i saw hundreds of lost souls wondering the paths. when i returned the first voices started this was about the time i stopped taking speed. since then the voices have slowly gotten worse. they screamed like daemons they preached like angels and the talked mindless rubbish in the voices of my friends. i could never tell whether it was real or just in my head. not long ago about 3 months i tried the new legal drug methadrone which while giving me a nice 'buzz' it soon took effect on my mind and i could hear voices every second i was awake, after i stopped this slowly decreased but it took a while. Then only a month ago i seemed to be able to read my close friends minds then anyone who was around me for a while it soon became obvious that my friends could also hear my speech and often thought i was just talking rubbish. eventually while sober i proved to them it was not me speaking by forcing my mouth shut while in their heads they could hear me screaming about wanting to die.they have been ass good as i could hope for as friends but cant help what they don't understand. it dawned on me today that maybe i needed to find someone who understood what i meant. so here i am. hope someone will relies that maybe im not as mad as i sound
 
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catalyst

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Jun 5, 2010
Messages
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Location
England
this is just for clarification i mean mephedrone also know as meow meow. also for about the last week of my binge on it i had 40gs between4 people that lasted us about a week. i have also tried NRG-1 which is even worse for you and i would suggest you stay away from 'Legal' drugs as most just have not yet been tested enough to be illegal
 
Sophie

Sophie

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Feb 20, 2009
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Hi and :welcome: Reading your post, the bit about the concentration camp, I did wonder if you might be psychic. Certain drugs can cause mental health problems. Are you getting type of treatment?
 
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catalyst

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Jun 5, 2010
Messages
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Location
England
at the moment i am talking to my social worker about plans to go to drug counceling to help me give up cannabis.
i was going to suggest that i could have psycosis as from what i know thats what it looks like.

so far i found that the best cure for my voices seems to be embarassment but as this usualy occures after someone i have just met or am trying to impress heres me talking in a diffrent accent then not knowing i even spoke or talking to them like they had spoken when really theve been sitting quietly its not a very helpfull solotion.

As for the psychic part i have had fortunetellers tell me either my future is filled with pain or is cloudy like they have never seen before
pagan friends 'feel' me aproching before i knock on their door and think i have 'the gift'.
ive even had dreams of things happening then they do happen roughly a month later but im not sure if this stuff happens or i dream it then think it happens cos im hallucinating
 
Sophie

Sophie

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It's good to hear that you are going for drug counselling, I hope you get all the support that you can. I would keep a open mind, on being psychic. Just keep it in mind. I am psychic, and some of the things that you have mentioned, do seem to be leading down that path.
 
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catalyst

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Jun 5, 2010
Messages
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Location
England
went to GP on Friday.. getting prescribed some pills next week really anxious don't want to end up dependent or medicated up to my eyeballs.
but what does being psychic really mean whats going to start happening if i am any advice you could give me would be much appreciated
 
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catalyst

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Jun 5, 2010
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England
just got back from doctors have been diagnosed with psychosis and been prescribed Zyprexa
anyone who has had experience with these id like to know how it went for you.
 
bluenomore

bluenomore

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Jun 30, 2009
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5,527
just got back from doctors have been diagnosed with psychosis and been prescribed Zyprexa
anyone who has had experience with these id like to know how it went for you.
Hi catalyst,

Yes, I was diagnosed with Paranoid Delusional Disorder while addicted to drugs and was prescribed Olanzapine (Zyprexa is a trade name). It will likely make you feel like a zombie for a while, but it's necessary to try to help mend your brain, and get rid of the voices and any paranoid thoughts that you might be having.

Hopefully after a few months you will start to feel a lot better. You really need to stay off drugs (including alcohol) though. Just one joint / line / drink could trigger an episode again. In my experience, the more psychotic episodes you have, the worse it gets.

From what I've read, most people go on to lead fairly normal lives (so long as they heed the advice above), but there is a chance that you could suffer from further episodes, or other long-term effects. I have had major depression and anxiety problems but am determined to get better.

I hope you start feeling better soon. Keep posting.
 
C

catalyst

Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2010
Messages
10
Location
England
oh yer it deffinetly makes me feel like a zombie waking up is almost impossible.
thanx for the advice dont know how well i can follow it but will try to stay clean.
 

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