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Gran died, mother racked with guilt...



Active member
Feb 26, 2009
England, Midlands
My gran died a few days ago of old age. However we havent seen her for over 7 years. She lives in India, we live in England. We wanted to see her but we couldnt because of money issues and other things in life that pre-occupy us. However 7 years of procastination and shes gone. I'm ok, a little upset. However, my mother was close to her. She is now mourning and is very depressed + guilty of the fact she didint see her one last time before she died. I'm worried that this guilt isnt going to go away. What should I do to help her? All I can do is cuddle her when she cries, I just dont know what else to do!


Well-known member
Founding Member
Jul 21, 2008
I'm sorry for your loss.
I can't imagine how one could predict the death of a loved one and get all affairs sorted on time.
My father died in April and I hadn't seen him in 20 years because he lived in america and I live in europe where I was born. He had been ill for the better part of 10 years and I'd planned on visiting him and taking my children - his granddaughters who he's never met - when they were of legal consent age (16). My oldest is 15 and the younger is 13. We didn't make it.
I sent him fotos and cards and called him once in awhile. He seemed very happy with that, although I'm the one that wanted more.
He was 73.
I don't feel guilty because I understand how life works and it's never story-book perfect.
I truly hope your mother can realize that these things do happen and no one is to blame. There will always be things left undone and unsaid. That's just human nature.
Give your mom a big hug from me, and I hope you both can sort out your feelings.
Take care! :hug:

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