GP problems

[Blackrat]

Bear with me - this might get rambly!

I live in a pretty rural place and getting to my GP is REALLY not easy. But my BF has said that he's getting worried about me (I've been really ill recently) and will start taking me to see the GP if it'll help.

Last time I went (my BF took me then too - he was working much longer hours and he took a day off just to take me up there) the GP was very sympathetic but said she couldn't help me if I couldn't make it to the GP regularly - and at the time I really couldn't the only other way to get there (bus would mean an overnight stay halfway and there's nowhere to stay there, there's no train-lines around the surgery and a taxi would cost at £40+ each time) I tried changing GPs, but I can't find one that'll take me on because I already have a GP who is closer to me (they *are* closer technically - I just can't get there!) and told me if that was no good to go to the NHS drop-in centre (who don't offer any mental health services - to be fair, when I tried to change GP, I didn't say what my problem was).

Now my BF can take me up there more easilly, I really want to try and get proper help again - but I've had so many problems. There's 4 doctors at my practice, but there's only 3 I'd be willing to see again. One of them was really rude to me a few years ago. My ex took me up there to try and get help for some mental issues and he said he was "going to refer me" to someone else. A few weeks later I had a chest infection and went back - he shouted at me and said I TOLD YOU ONCE - THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. STOP WASTING MY TIME. I just left in tears and didn't go back for months. He never referred me to anyone as far as I know either... So I'm really worried one of the other doctors will do the same.

The other thing is explaining my problem - I have dyspraxia and it makes me pretty clumsy. I fall over a lot and often trip up over my words - especially when I'm stressed. I stammer and slur sometimes and occasionally I seem to say totally the wrong word (I seem to get lost halfway through words.. so rather than just say "hello" it usually comes out as "Hellerrrrrat" or something stupid like that ) and I find it hard enough to talk normally - nevermind when I'm stressed and it's something important. Last time I didn't even go into most of my problems because my words were so all over the place and I was in tears and as nice as the doctor was, she didn't really have enough time for me and I wasn't making much sense.

I'm just wondering (if you didn't want to read all that!):
1) How do you go about telling the doctor what's wrong? I usually go "umm.... err...." a lot and don't really know where to start. I don't want to go in there and just blurt out "HELLO! I'VE GOT MENTAL PROBLEMS!"

2) There are a LOT of things that arn't quite right with me - I'm not sure how much is mental or if it's just one thing wrong with me or lots of things. How do I go about talking about ALL of it (should I?) because I don't talk very well, it takes a long time and I always feel really guilty about taking up too much time

3) How do you stay calm before you go? I'm always scared I'll chicken out and cancel my appointment or leave before I get in there or just get in there and say "oh - nothing's wrong!" and run away

 

[Dollit]

Why don't you write it or type it before you go? Including an explanation of how difficult it is for you to actually get to the surgery. Rural area or not they still have an obligation to care for you. If you're claiming any sort of benefits then there may be help with travelling expenses but they wouldn't cover a £40 taxi fare.

You can specify which doctor you want to see. I see one GP all the time (who is named as my "key" doctor) and when he's not there I see another doctor who is also specified by me and that works really well.

Also I have someone other than my family named as my next of kin so that if push comes to shove he can talk to the doctor on my behalf. It's someone I trust a great deal, someone I love an awful lot. It makes me feel easier and you don't need anyone's permission to do that.

 

[Blackrat]

Why don't you write it or type it before you go? Including an explanation of how difficult it is for you to actually get to the surgery. Rural area or not they still have an obligation to care for you. If you're claiming any sort of benefits then there may be help with travelling expenses but they wouldn't cover a £40 taxi fare.

You can specify which doctor you want to see. I see one GP all the time (who is named as my "key" doctor) and when he's not there I see another doctor who is also specified by me and that works really well.

Also I have someone other than my family named as my next of kin so that if push comes to shove he can talk to the doctor on my behalf. It's someone I trust a great deal, someone I love an awful lot. It makes me feel easier and you don't need anyone's permission to do that.

Cheers for that
I wouldn't know where to start writing it down either it's just a case of there being so much that's going on and not knowing what comes first...

I usually do ask for the doctor I want to see, but I get worried about them switching them at the last minute (it's happened before - the doctor I made an appointment with couldn't make it so there was another doctor. It actually worked out better for me that time, but I'm scared I'll get there and it'll be the one I *don't* want to see)

I'm not sure I know anyone I trust enough to go in for me, but I'll bear it in mind for the future

 

[saffron]

I agree with dollit, but also just copy what you have said here, this is very open and honest in the way you feel, I beleive your problem is not understood at all and a lot of people would think you are drunk and being a pain in the backside, where really you have no control over the way you behave, show your doctor your copy and let him read it without you saying anything, or write your chosen doctor a letter saying that you are misunderstood and having a bad time because of it, you do not deserve this at all so they need to understand.
thinking of you and hope it works out in the end
S

 

[Blackrat]

I agree with dollit, but also just copy what you have said here, this is very open and honest in the way you feel, I beleive your problem is not understood at all and a lot of people would think you are drunk and being a pain in the backside, where really you have no control over the way you behave, show your doctor your copy and let him read it without you saying anything, or write your chosen doctor a letter saying that you are misunderstood and having a bad time because of it, you do not deserve this at all so they need to understand.
thinking of you and hope it works out in the end
S

Cheers I had a real problem when I broke my elbow - all the nurses treated me like a bit of an idiot because they thought I was drunk (especially since I broke it falling over a handbag!) my mate took her to one side and explained it to her and she was much nicer after that. It's especially annoying since I don't drink!

Might go with your idea of copying my post out (with edits) and see if that helps

 

[saffron]

well it wont do any harm just make you more understood, that way you will feel less frustrated and hurt.
good luck and best wishes
S

 

[Halo]

Hi Blackrat

Im sorry to hear that you are having problems and i really feel for you.

I think it is out of order for a gp to be rude.

My husband decided to take matters into his own hands and phoned up our local nhs mental health org.... and guess what they said to him....

they said although doctors are there to diagnose problems .. they should refer people to us strait away, as we are the experts..

As for people misunderstanding you and taking your for a drunk or something worse.. have you ever thought of keeping with you a short laminated paragraph of your difficulties.. so when you feel uncomfortable then you can get the info out of your handbag or pocket and let someone read it .. so that they do not misunderstand ...

I hope you find relief soon best wishes

 

[Blackrat]

As for people misunderstanding you and taking your for a drunk or something worse.. have you ever thought of keeping with you a short laminated paragraph of your difficulties.. so when you feel uncomfortable then you can get the info out of your handbag or pocket and let someone read it .. so that they do not misunderstand ...

That's a pretty good idea!
I feel weird using things like that though - I just worry that I'd come across as arrogant if I didn't try to talk "normally" But I might still use that idea in future

 

[Halo]

That's a pretty good idea!
I feel weird using things like that though - I just worry that I'd come across as arrogant if I didn't try to talk "normally" But I might still use that idea in future

I think its a good idea to do that as it would give you time to calm and relax youself while they read you info card..

you could start it by saying ... ' dear reader, please forgive me as i am unable to communicate to you at present due to a condition i have called....etc..

then you could if they were interested and understanding give them another prompt card that would explain things more indepth.. but it would be up to you if you decide to use them.. but at least you would have the option and this may give you a little more confidence ..

best wishes