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Got sucked in by an article, the Online Dating Scene is definitely not for me.

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TazBurrfoot

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
Messages
79
Location
California
I'm new to this forum. I'm 38 and live with my parents. I receive disability, I recommend anyone who can apply should apply with an attorney, and I have no debts. After observing a few older couples that seemed to be walking through life without the whole traditional family thing i.e. having children. I thought maybe I could find someone like that to walk with me through life.

So, I looked online and found an article that suggested for disabled people to at least try Plenty of Fish. In retrospect the article is probably a well done advertisement for Plenty of Fish. =) I've tried OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and it's not any good. Not to be judgmental but the women are pretty rough and tough so not for me.

But the funny thing is I thought well let me try something more mainstream like Match. This is just out of curiosity as I know people on Match are serious daters with high expectations, me without a job, living with my parents and with mental illness wouldn't fit into their ideal mate. But curiosity took the better of me and so I signed in just to take a look at their Hispanic singles.

Geeze, my search was for 35 to 42 and man were these women models. I don't know if that is Matches thing to put the most beautiful first, but I would say even if I had it together was a lawyer at 38 had all my eggs in the same basket these women would still be out of my reach. I'm an average body with average looks and I was hoping there would be average body with average looks on there. But no, these women are way out of my league even without a disability.

So, now I'm just looking for pen pals. Some people to talk to, to share my experiences with. I'm 38 play a little piano with the intention of taking piano classes in a few months. I used to play Final Fantasy 14 but now I play Magic the Gathering Online. I don't watch TV and I don't get involved in the politics of the time. I'm pretty devout as a Catholic, with the experiences of miracles.

Well, that's me.

Thanks to anyone who responds.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
6,966
Location
Nowhere
it must be awful to live in that state of mind Taz !
always measuring their vital statistics

cant you see people as people
and expect the same from them ?
 
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TazBurrfoot

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
Messages
79
Location
California
it must be awful to live in that state of mind Taz !
always measuring their vital statistics

cant you see people as people
and expect the same from them ?
Thanks for the reply, I might be misunderstanding but I'm not a pessimistic person or a misanthrope but yah that Match dating pool seemed cut throat. Too much for me to handle and I don't think it would be founded on anything with values like religion. It seemed like a competition for the greatest looks, the greatest life, the greatest adventure, the greatest status. Well, I am sure they will find that and they do have everything together but it just seemed like out right materialism and narcissism.

But no I'm happy to have a loving household. I'm grateful for God in my life. And others may have other experiences that are better but for me I'd rather just stick to my family and my hobbies and supportive groups like this one.
 
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woodchuck bob

Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2019
Messages
8
Location
New Jersey
hi Taz...im new here, but i have experience using online dating to get out of a rut in my life.

At about 42, i was recently divorced, feeling very depressed, and in a social rut. I didnt think any woman would want to date me, and had been incredibly picky about looks and appearance of my dates in the past. i used a dating site to find a woman blindly..simply by opening up my mind, and expanding my search to women with similar interests, talents, etc...that might have been too shy or whatever to post a picture. I found several, and chatted with one for 2 weeks every night, and we wound up having a great relationship over the course of the next year. At that age, people often have very different goals. And if you go in there trying to find dream girl #2 in your head, to date and marry...jeez..lighten up. They are not all hunting for long term mates, some have kids and don't have or want to spend that much time as a couple. But you will eliminate a whole lot of wonderful women with such a narrow outlook. Try something less goal oriented, and you might find someone amazing you never expected. i did. good luck.
 
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TazBurrfoot

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
Messages
79
Location
California
hi Taz...im new here, but i have experience using online dating to get out of a rut in my life.

At about 42, i was recently divorced, feeling very depressed, and in a social rut. I didnt think any woman would want to date me, and had been incredibly picky about looks and appearance of my dates in the past. i used a dating site to find a woman blindly..simply by opening up my mind, and expanding my search to women with similar interests, talents, etc...that might have been too shy or whatever to post a picture. I found several, and chatted with one for 2 weeks every night, and we wound up having a great relationship over the course of the next year. At that age, people often have very different goals. And if you go in there trying to find dream girl #2 in your head, to date and marry...jeez..lighten up. They are not all hunting for long term mates, some have kids and don't have or want to spend that much time as a couple. But you will eliminate a whole lot of wonderful women with such a narrow outlook. Try something less goal oriented, and you might find someone amazing you never expected. i did. good luck.
Thanks for the reply Bob, maybe I'll try at a later date. Maybe I was just being pessimistic. But I would do something like Match. I've also checked disabled dating site but none of them are very active in terms of members.
 
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