• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

got some questions for ya

G

givemehope

Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2020
Messages
18
Location
USA
I just have a few questions I'm seeking answers to if anyone feels comfortable answering.

has anyone found a medication that genuinely works for them?

has anyone found that therapy genuinely works for them?

has anyone been able to be in a genuinely healthy romantic relationship for a significant period of time, with someone they genuinely felt very strongly about?

I don't know if I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not alone, or reassurance that there is hope, but any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6,296
Location
England
I have come across women who are married to quite special men :) quite a few very patient and loving men are out there.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
J

JayJ

Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2020
Messages
8
Location
United Kingdom
I am 22 and been told I have this 4 times by professionals but am not yet diagnosed,
In my case I have been with my gf since 2015 and we are happy of course it’s difficult for her to understand what emotions I go through and to the extent but she does her best, also I’m on antidepressants they seem to help me regulate all of my emotions however I wouldn’t recommend starting them if you have never been on them, it is likely if I never started I wouldn’t have this difference when I stop taking them, so it’s not really worth it. As for therapy I have no experience there sorry
 
Cordelia

Cordelia

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Switzerland
Hi there!

When it comes to medication I have pretty good experiences. It took months to find the right one, so don't give up! I felt a lot more stable and my mood swings weren't as bad as I was used to. So, from my experience, they can work! But always with the "down-side" of not being able to feel positive emotions as strong as you'd like them to. As always, it depends on your current state of mind.

Same for therapy... After a lot of different therapies I tried I found DBT, which I am very happy with!

Relationships are one of the hardest things for someone with BPD. As of now, I can tell you: it's hard work. But it's possible!

Greetings,
Cordelia
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I just have a few questions I'm seeking answers to if anyone feels comfortable answering.

has anyone found a medication that genuinely works for them?

has anyone found that therapy genuinely works for them?

has anyone been able to be in a genuinely healthy romantic relationship for a significant period of time, with someone they genuinely felt very strongly about?

I don't know if I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not alone, or reassurance that there is hope, but any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys
Hello. I have found an antidepressant keeps me stable but therapy has been the most beneficial. The therapy that helped me the most was CAT.
I have been in a very happy relationship for 10 years. This was due to having lots of therapy and a partner who understands bpd.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I have come across women who are married to quite special men :) quite a few very patient and loving men are out there.

I don't know about treatments but they say when people with BPD reach their 40s, life gets a bit easier. Not everyone seeks support, some work through everything on their own.
I hope you do not mind me saying this but BPD does not get better with age unless the person has had treatment. Also, I have never heard of anybody with BPD managing it without treatment. It is vital to have work with a trained therapist. Sorry to disagree with you Tawny. I just did not want somebody to read that and try to manage alone.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6,296
Location
England
I hope you do not mind me saying this but BPD does not get better with age unless the person has had treatment. Also, I have never heard of anybody with BPD managing it without treatment. It is vital to have work with a trained therapist. Sorry to disagree with you Tawny. I just did not want somebody to read that and try to manage alone.
Thank you Bee, you know much more about it than i do.

I did read something that said there is less impulsivity when people with BPD reach middle-age, and that life becomes easier for them generally.

When i said that some people achieve that without support, i was remembering when i was told that when it comes to trauma (which i appreciate is not the same as BPD?) some people are better off not talking. This was a clinpsych ex-colleague who said that. It was quite a few years ago so things might have changed since.

I linked the two memories together.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Thank you Bee, you know much more about it than i do.

I did read something that said there is less impulsivity when people with BPD reach middle-age, and that life becomes easier for them generally.

When i said that some people achieve that without support, i was remembering when i was told that when it comes to trauma (which i appreciate is not the same as BPD?) some people are better off not talking. This was a clinpsych ex-colleague who said that. It was quite a few years ago so things might have changed since.

I linked the two memories together.
I am glad I did not offend you.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6,296
Location
England
I am glad I did not offend you.
Not at all. I actually feel more comfortable knowing that there are other people around to give alternative information and support. It takes the pressure off if i have said the wrong thing
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Not at all. I actually feel more comfortable knowing that there are other people around to give alternative information and support. It takes the pressure off if i have said the wrong thing
Please do not feel any pressure to reply to posts you are unsure of. You are so kind and I know you want to help everybody.
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,391
Location
London, ON
I hope you do not mind me saying this but BPD does not get better with age unless the person has had treatment. Also, I have never heard of anybody with BPD managing it without treatment. It is vital to have work with a trained therapist. Sorry to disagree with you Tawny. I just did not want somebody to read that and try to manage alone.
I'm going to say it is possible to learn to cope on your own as you age, but I think you'd have to be very self-aware, and it would be trial and error.

I find it easier to cope, mostly, the older I get -but I have had therapy, and I do take some meds. Hard to tell if my intensity has faded with age, how much is meds, how much is CBT and DBT paying off.

some kind of therapy is a better plan than none.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I'm going to say it is possible to learn to cope on your own as you age, but I think you'd have to be very self-aware, and it would be trial and error.

I find it easier to cope, mostly, the older I get -but I have had therapy, and I do take some meds. Hard to tell if my intensity has faded with age, how much is meds, how much is CBT and DBT paying off.

some kind of therapy is a better plan than none.
I know somebody whose bpd became very bad when they reached 50. I agree you would need to have a lot of self awareness in order to deal with the emotions. I believe you and I have learned to cope due to the therapy we have had rather then aging. The people who do not have any therapy never seem to learn how to manage their emotions.

I appreciate we will all have different opinions on this.
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,391
Location
London, ON
I pretty much agree with you - I think it would be really hard without somebody to help point things out.

I feel like it's more "if you can't get therapy, you can still try to gain control, but therapy is a huge advantage" thing.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I pretty much agree with you - I think it would be really hard without somebody to help point things out.

I feel like it's more "if you can't get therapy, you can still try to gain control, but therapy is a huge advantage" thing.
Oh, I see. I understand your point now.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
903
Location
Sunny England.
I just have a few questions I'm seeking answers to if anyone feels comfortable answering.

has anyone found a medication that genuinely works for them?

has anyone found that therapy genuinely works for them?

has anyone been able to be in a genuinely healthy romantic relationship for a significant period of time, with someone they genuinely felt very strongly about?

I don't know if I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not alone, or reassurance that there is hope, but any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys
No.
No.
When i was in my prime,but not since.
 
Top