• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Going to hell and very worried

naominash

naominash

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2016
Messages
2,602
Location
North Carolina
I remember when, I was watching T.V., God seemed to be sending messages directly to me and influencing the people on set.

Psychosis feels like a newer, more powerful reality breaking in to our regular lives. That's why it's so hard to dismiss.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,748
Location
Europe
I really feel for you Troubled, its a very difficult phase to go through. I remember when I was psychotic and even though I had decent insight and emotional balance (as you appear to as well) it stayed confusing, uncertain and took its toll on my ability to focus, relax and enjoy other things.

I know how mad it all sounds but it's really hard to discount it when I'm hearing voices coming out of the cord pull in the bathroom, and voices saying "you will" when I shut the front door (as in you will do what we say, sooner or later), and I hear voices coming out of birds saying "please", as in please give all your money away.
I think you will find it becomes easier when you pay more attention to what the voices are actually saying. They don't say much - a fragment here or there, and the rest of it is our brains filling in the gaps. Once you ditch that habit, don't listen to the thoughts and do check what they actually say, it is easier to not become so lost in the thoughts that appear. You can recognise the pattern even in what you wrote above, the voices say something short and you end up extending it in your thoughts and giving it more meaning.
 
T

troubled

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2016
Messages
50
Location
Ireland
I don't know what's happened but the psychosis has gone, although not the voices. I got picked up by the police twice in two days for walking around the streets with no shoes on and no coat, and got taken to the hospital the second time. For some weird reason, as soon as I sat on the bed in the A&E cubicle, the entire psychosis vanished but the voices remain. For two solid days I thought the nuclear war was coming and then it all vanished in an instant.

I still believe my voices and the psychosis are caused by evil spirits. I think that's why the whole thing evaporated in an instant. But it's such a relief to no longer believe the war is coming, even if I do still have the voices. I've also gotten rid of the belief that I'm going to hell, which is a great relief.

I think you will find it becomes easier when you pay more attention to what the voices are actually saying. They don't say much - a fragment here or there, and the rest of it is our brains filling in the gaps. Once you ditch that habit, don't listen to the thoughts and do check what they actually say, it is easier to not become so lost in the thoughts that appear. You can recognise the pattern even in what you wrote above, the voices say something short and you end up extending it in your thoughts and giving it more meaning.
You are absolutely right Kerome, my voices actually say very little, but I do believe the thoughts come from them as well. The sort of thoughts I've been having over the last couple of days were just so far from the normal me that I don't believe they could have come from me.

I'm feeling a lot braver now that I'm not going to hell so I'm going to go into the alternative perspectives forum and see if anyone else thinks their voices come from evil spirits.
 
madfryer

madfryer

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2016
Messages
549
Location
southend on sea
there is no hell look at the near death experiences the worst is just sat there with something nearby that loves you
 
T

tonga kev

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2013
Messages
163
i believe my voices come from evil spirits, i even have a spirit on my back and head, draining me of life force. It sometimes tries to take over mentally but i rebuff them. p.s when i had my psychosis i thought i was going to be burned alive and probably go to hell. It must be quite common.
 
cpuusage

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,648
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
i believe my voices come from evil spirits, i even have a spirit on my back and head, draining me of life force. It sometimes tries to take over mentally but i rebuff them. p.s when i had my psychosis i thought i was going to be burned alive and probably go to hell. It must be quite common.
Religious delusions are very common with psychosis.
 
madfryer

madfryer

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2016
Messages
549
Location
southend on sea
its strange what voices work on because i was more worried about what heaven is like - i was given the worst possible outcomes - but because i talked to the ouija board and items up there and my husband dabbled in the occult one thing they could not say is hell because i know there is no hell but boy did they work hard on what heaven was i believe in reincarnation so it is a place to wait and i know love is important i know that is hard to swallow right now but to get to know you i think is what they are doing -
 
P

Pixieb34

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
208
Location
England
God wouldn't be cruel to a mentally ill person and you wouldn't go to hell unless you are like, a murderer and even then people who are sorry don't go to hell. Sorry you're having these awful fears.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,748
Location
Europe
You are absolutely right Kerome, my voices actually say very little, but I do believe the thoughts come from them as well. The sort of thoughts I've been having over the last couple of days were just so far from the normal me that I don't believe they could have come from me.
But what if some of your voices were well-meaning and others not? You might find bad thoughts coming from bad mental influences hijacking what your voices were actually saying... I noticed that my mind can be very negative, in not believing good things without reason, or coming up with the worst possible scenario's to attach to what a voice has said.

That there are positive voices and negative ones is something quite a few people experience, so i wouldn't rule it out.
 
T

troubled

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2016
Messages
50
Location
Ireland
That there are positive voices and negative ones is something quite a few people experience, so i wouldn't rule it out.
Thanks Kerome, I do have to keep in mind that some voices are positive and some are negative.
 
T

troubled

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2016
Messages
50
Location
Ireland
i believe my voices come from evil spirits, i even have a spirit on my back and head, draining me of life force. It sometimes tries to take over mentally but i rebuff them. p.s when i had my psychosis i thought i was going to be burned alive and probably go to hell. It must be quite common.
I had a similar experience Tonga Kev, way back in 2010 when my psychosis first started. I thought that something was draining the life force out of me. You say that the spirits are on your back and head, and I thought that something had dug into my chest and was draining me from around the heart area. It felt like I didn't have the energy to move around. I also thought about being burned alive because when I was in my nuclear war psychosis just very recently, I thought that by setting myself on fire, I would mitigate the war. The nuclear war stuff has gone away now but I don't know if I ever would have actually set myself on fire. The voices/thoughts were telling me that it wasn't something I had to do right now but that it would have to be done one day. And of course I thought I was going to hell too.

All in all, my experience was very similar to yours.
 
madfryer

madfryer

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2016
Messages
549
Location
southend on sea
you are so right can u believe it the hassle they give you wears you down u would have thought if that was the case they could at least be nice about it but nope its as if the need to speak to your mind has to hurt if not physically emotionally - but what i can say once they get a foothold they love u if u are anything like me they can move me and put weight on me oh and love telling me off. i suppose it would not be so bad if i was into bdsm
 
J

Jupiter11

New member
Joined
Sep 17, 2017
Messages
1
Hi I'm new here and the title of this post might sound like a joke but it isn't. I hear voices but the problem is they don't come from inside my head, they come from outside. On three occasions they told me something that was going to happen ten seconds before it happened. I'm not talking about "you're going to see a pigeon", I'm talking about three very specific things, like the name of a chemical element on a quiz show. I'd rather not specify as I've told a couple of close friends about them and they could identify me but I am in no doubt that these voices are coming from outside of me. I have seen that there is a spiritual section in this forum but I'm too scared to go in there because I don't want to read anything that will reinforce it.

The voices only say the same few words on constant repeat, but I also get twitches that support the voices and are in response to my thoughts. Eg if a voice says "give" ie give all your money away, I'll get twitched on the right for "that's right". I get thoughts as well as voices, and the thoughts, voices and twitches all back each other up.

Between the thoughts, voices and twitches, I've been told that I will go to hell unless I do what the voices/thoughts/twitches tell me, because they are coming from God, and I have to prove complete obedience to God. Additionally, all my psychotic symptoms only ever came on when I went through a few days of intense prayer, and so now I've finally learned not to say any more prayers. They are trying to make me harm myself and humiliate myself in order to prove complete obedience, and I'm going to hell because I won't do what they tell me. They constantly tell me to give all my savings away, and I have had thoughts about harming myself and humiliating myself and then I get twitched on the right hand side of the body for "that's right". I did give ten thousand pounds away a lot of years ago because of the voices but then I recovered from the psychosis and a man in the CAB helped me get about 90% of it back. But now they want me to do it again and not get it back. I've been sectioned and I took four different drugs at varying points, but even back when I thought the voices were coming from inside my head, the drugs still didn't work.

I absolutely believe that I am supposed to obey them but I'm not doing it and so I'm going to go to hell and I'm terrified. I previously bought materials to kill myself to get away from the voices, but it's only today that they've told me I'm going to hell if I die, so now I don't even know if I can kill myself. I wouldn't have been killing myself any time soon anyway as I live with my elderly mother and I wouldn't leave her but I had plans to kill myself once she had gone.

I'm very distraught because I absolutely believe it's all coming from God and I can't escape it even by dying. I do work but I don't think I'll hold on to my job for much longer after this latest revelation. I'm panicking nearly all day long now, and have the voices/twitches/thoughts to contend with too.

I know there's maybe nobody else in here who thinks they're going to hell, but I just wanted to join in here as it's the only place where I will get coping strategies for the remaining time that I'm alive.
I've gone through nearly the same thing, but much worse. You remind me of myself but at an early stage. I'd think that perhaps it'd be wise to listen to them, but also I wouldn't be sure that would be the entire point of it. In the Bible the point of giving up ones possessions is to begin an entirely new life of service, and reliance on gods provision. A new life of devotion. Serving the poor and not working for money. To love others. So to me the suggestion seems to be "simply follow us in faith, and surrender".

The part about the twitching I've seen as well in my own experience however not as developed as to mean something consistent. The basics of what it meant to me on the occasion I experienced it was that it was a automatic response of obediance to a higher authority, despite having feral qualities in mysef , and being in general untame. They used it to imply I am a demon, and that despite this I still have a form of involuntary obediance. And the twitch was their evidence.

Anyway, for me I'm certainly going to hell. I think that goes without saying if they claim I'm a demon. They say to kill myself, not that I may be saved, but that I may embrace my fate and stop sinning and thereby making my sentence worse. As you believe you should obey them, so too do I believe that it is wise to do this as well. Though the fear, enhanced by their at times vivid descriptions of what awaits, instills in me an impossible fear. And they ridicule me for it. Call me a bitch and a Pussy, because of that fear, but also because of who I am in general. And how I've lived my life.

It is not only true that I'm going to hell, but that I'm going to the very worst pit in hell. And there is no hope for me. But for you, perhaps there is hope. Perhaps not if you were to die now, and also perhaps also because killing yourself might be sinful, but that they are even working with you, trying to help you in some way, this means they haven't adopted the attitude of my circumstances. Which is basically there's absolutely nothing you can do we are positive you're going to hell, in fact your getting deeper in it every second, and other things they say to me constantly.

In fact I know I will even regret telling you this forever. And that I will die many deaths because of it, or suffer many pains, forever, without rest. But I've already gone past the stage of intense crippling fear. Which when I first discovered I was going to hell, the mental anguish alone was the worst physical pain I've ever had. Weird how can mental anguish be so physical? Like I was actually on fire. Odd.

Now I'm just in a state of absurd denial, and insanity and self delusion, simply because facing it is impossible. Or atleast not for a coward like me. They recognize that. They say I won't do it. So I've resigned myself to it. Which is so foolish and horrible. To suffer worse for an eternity just because I'm afraid of a few moments and want to enjoy this meaningless life a little bit more. I'm very disappointed with myself. They are all angry. God, men. And even hell I assume, for depriving them.

The thought that I must kill myself never leaves me. And yet with it, I cannot. It is a tiresome game.

Anyway, for you, I would ofcourse say do it. But that they don't always give commands that one is able to keep. But also there may indeed be real punishment for it. If you can, obey the commands before you understand why, and have time to question it is preferable. It may be that by then, when you have put it aside too long, it is too late. Like in my situation, that when I understood why they wanted me to kill myself, the knowing of it, the consequence of it, had made it to terrifying a task. Though there's no way I can say I'm am not still truly ignorant of the state I'm in. They said while I stood on a balcony , "if you knew what they were doing to you, you'd jump right now" I can only assume they are destroying my soul.

anyway, if what you're experiencing is similar to me, which I still have reason to doubt, then I cannot exactly give you any hope, given that I have none myself. I can perhaps only terrify you, or give you misguided advice.

Fuck sorry, I know this doesn't help at all. I was supposed to give you coping advice, but for me they can invade any activity, and knowing further that any activity is destructive to me and incurs their rage makes anything unsettling. Even this. Even now I hear them explaining things.

Also my advice may not help at all because I'm not very experienced in life at all. Never had a job, and I live with my mom and im twenty four.

I'd probably have more to share about the experience...

You're the first to describe the predicting thing. They can predict what I'll do before I'm aware I'll do it. Or what I'll say. And also they do harmonize with my own thoughts and respond, like you describe all of it going on at one time. That makes me think it might be authentic.

One point of discrepancy, however, is that you identified them as external. I agree for the most part. It's just a little bit funny. I wonder just exactly what that means.

I could share more but maybe you have more to say.
 
J

Jewels50

New member
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Messages
1
My daughter prays all the time and it seems to help she too thinks she’s going to hell but talking to our pastor has helped her
 
Tired Daisy

Tired Daisy

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2016
Messages
12,141
Location
5,437 miles from Hollywood
Its demons they want people to go to hell Demons are hard to fight I've been curse by a demon and because I fought with a demon it has curse me for life, I lived in a haunted house thats when I encountered the demon I'm not religious, I've seen many things tho in my time and I've felt gods power when somebody prayed over me one time I'm a Pagan and God respects me as that.
 
Top