T
troubled
Well-known member
Hi I'm new here and the title of this post might sound like a joke but it isn't. I hear voices but the problem is they don't come from inside my head, they come from outside. On three occasions they told me something that was going to happen ten seconds before it happened. I'm not talking about "you're going to see a pigeon", I'm talking about three very specific things, like the name of a chemical element on a quiz show. I'd rather not specify as I've told a couple of close friends about them and they could identify me but I am in no doubt that these voices are coming from outside of me. I have seen that there is a spiritual section in this forum but I'm too scared to go in there because I don't want to read anything that will reinforce it.
The voices only say the same few words on constant repeat, but I also get twitches that support the voices and are in response to my thoughts. Eg if a voice says "give" ie give all your money away, I'll get twitched on the right for "that's right". I get thoughts as well as voices, and the thoughts, voices and twitches all back each other up.
Between the thoughts, voices and twitches, I've been told that I will go to hell unless I do what the voices/thoughts/twitches tell me, because they are coming from God, and I have to prove complete obedience to God. Additionally, all my psychotic symptoms only ever came on when I went through a few days of intense prayer, and so now I've finally learned not to say any more prayers. They are trying to make me harm myself and humiliate myself in order to prove complete obedience, and I'm going to hell because I won't do what they tell me. They constantly tell me to give all my savings away, and I have had thoughts about harming myself and humiliating myself and then I get twitched on the right hand side of the body for "that's right". I did give ten thousand pounds away a lot of years ago because of the voices but then I recovered from the psychosis and a man in the CAB helped me get about 90% of it back. But now they want me to do it again and not get it back. I've been sectioned and I took four different drugs at varying points, but even back when I thought the voices were coming from inside my head, the drugs still didn't work.
I absolutely believe that I am supposed to obey them but I'm not doing it and so I'm going to go to hell and I'm terrified. I previously bought materials to kill myself to get away from the voices, but it's only today that they've told me I'm going to hell if I die, so now I don't even know if I can kill myself. I wouldn't have been killing myself any time soon anyway as I live with my elderly mother and I wouldn't leave her but I had plans to kill myself once she had gone.
I'm very distraught because I absolutely believe it's all coming from God and I can't escape it even by dying. I do work but I don't think I'll hold on to my job for much longer after this latest revelation. I'm panicking nearly all day long now, and have the voices/twitches/thoughts to contend with too.
I know there's maybe nobody else in here who thinks they're going to hell, but I just wanted to join in here as it's the only place where I will get coping strategies for the remaining time that I'm alive.
The voices only say the same few words on constant repeat, but I also get twitches that support the voices and are in response to my thoughts. Eg if a voice says "give" ie give all your money away, I'll get twitched on the right for "that's right". I get thoughts as well as voices, and the thoughts, voices and twitches all back each other up.
Between the thoughts, voices and twitches, I've been told that I will go to hell unless I do what the voices/thoughts/twitches tell me, because they are coming from God, and I have to prove complete obedience to God. Additionally, all my psychotic symptoms only ever came on when I went through a few days of intense prayer, and so now I've finally learned not to say any more prayers. They are trying to make me harm myself and humiliate myself in order to prove complete obedience, and I'm going to hell because I won't do what they tell me. They constantly tell me to give all my savings away, and I have had thoughts about harming myself and humiliating myself and then I get twitched on the right hand side of the body for "that's right". I did give ten thousand pounds away a lot of years ago because of the voices but then I recovered from the psychosis and a man in the CAB helped me get about 90% of it back. But now they want me to do it again and not get it back. I've been sectioned and I took four different drugs at varying points, but even back when I thought the voices were coming from inside my head, the drugs still didn't work.
I absolutely believe that I am supposed to obey them but I'm not doing it and so I'm going to go to hell and I'm terrified. I previously bought materials to kill myself to get away from the voices, but it's only today that they've told me I'm going to hell if I die, so now I don't even know if I can kill myself. I wouldn't have been killing myself any time soon anyway as I live with my elderly mother and I wouldn't leave her but I had plans to kill myself once she had gone.
I'm very distraught because I absolutely believe it's all coming from God and I can't escape it even by dying. I do work but I don't think I'll hold on to my job for much longer after this latest revelation. I'm panicking nearly all day long now, and have the voices/twitches/thoughts to contend with too.
I know there's maybe nobody else in here who thinks they're going to hell, but I just wanted to join in here as it's the only place where I will get coping strategies for the remaining time that I'm alive.