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Going through rough times (Depressed, co dependent, ADD)

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exrec9

New member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
2
Location
Philadelphia Suburbs
Hello all,
After 15 years of marriage my wife and I are getting divorced. I also got fired from my very good job due to lack of production. Digging into this a bit more I think you will be able to paint the whole picture.

I'm not sure if I ever truly loved my wife. I have always had attachment issues where I pushed hard to meet someone and then pushed harder and lost many good relationships. We've got two beautiful daughters who also have ADD which has accented the issues in our marriage.

I have severe ADD as an adult. In 2012 I changed careers into a home based position. Since then I have had multiple jobs as I find myself struggling mightily focusing on what I need to do. Tried multiple medications but nothing seems to work.

So today...lost my job in October. Right after I lost my job I met a woman by chance and the needy side of me has pushed hard to be with her as I've been very lonely for years. She's also going through a divorce but has her own place and lives a very free spirited life and has an amazing social network. I'm stuck on the couch where I have been for at least a few more weeks and I'm going absolutely crazy. I'm crying and feeling down almost daily. In the back of my mind I know that this woman is not a perfect fit for me but the amazing sex and constant chats/texts daily makes me feel great. Problem comes on the weekends (she doesn't want to commit to someone that is still living with wife which I unfortunately understand). She always wants to be with her friends and drink and have fun. When she's drunk she calls me and wants to see me. She gets the best of both worlds since I run to her to have sex then have to go home. We do stuff together every once in a while and its nice to hang out with her but when she makes plans with her friends it drives me crazy.

I'm intelligent enough to know that the issues are with me. I've always been co dependent. My support network at the moment is light and I'm not happy with myself. Also my ADD gets in the way of me following through with self help types of things which I really want to start doing. I believe I'm getting an offer here shortly from a company that will be a big move for me back into an office. I know that the work will fill a lot of my emptiness I've been feeling but can't figure out how to get out of my own way when it comes to attaching to women.

Lots more to add to this but wanted to see if people had overcome anything similar or can point me in a good direction.

Thank you!
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,744
Location
Lancashire
:welcome: to the forum. I haven't been through that I'm afraid so can't advise very much. You seem to have gone through a lot and my deepest sympathies to you. You say you aren't a good fit with this new lady, but what is a good fit? it seems you are getting on very well. But you know best I think.

I hope you had a good holiday.
 
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exrec9

New member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
2
Location
Philadelphia Suburbs
Well....superficial me after being married for 15 years wants to go after younger women with no kids etc. This one is closer in age and has three kids of her own. She's also way too free spirited for me as another aspect of my co dependency is jealousy. I'm getting on, but fighting tears daily and thinking WAY too much about her, and life almost to a detriment.


:welcome: to the forum. I haven't been through that I'm afraid so can't advise very much. You seem to have gone through a lot and my deepest sympathies to you. You say you aren't a good fit with this new lady, but what is a good fit? it seems you are getting on very well. But you know best I think.

I hope you had a good holiday.
 
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