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going through a rough divorce in Utah need help

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Jenna1

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
5
Location
USA, Utah
Hi! I live in Salt Lake City and I have a dilemma. My husband is a hard drinker, when he drank, he became more and more withdrawn and violent. We don't talk anymore like we used to do, and i don't feel like there is any common interests left like we had before. I want to divorce with him, but i know it's very money spending process. Besides, we have a 7 y.o. daughter that gonna be without father if i'll be brave enough to went through dissolution. Please, i need your help, should i save our family for the sake of my daughter or went through divorce? I don't want to live with this person anymore and i don't see my future with him.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,227
Location
Nowhere
hi Jenna

I recommend you contact Al-Anon in your area
I looked it up

Find a meeting | Utah Area Al-Anon Family Groups

its a free service linked to Alcoholics Anonymous
that will have alot of hands on experience
of how to handle an alcoholic relative

you can go to live meetings and get fellowship there
they will help you with your daughter
they have screened sponsors who are qualified to help with children

:love::love::love:
 
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Jenna1

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
5
Location
USA, Utah
I'm not interested in bringing my relationships to public, besides, i don't see my future with this man anymore, that's why i was looking more for advices about divorce.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Mar 9, 2012
Messages
9,368
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I would say to divorce him, seeing her dad like that and violent is going to cause your daughter more harms than if you divorce him and get her away from the violence.

If you stay, your daughter could end up in a abusive relationship when she grows up cause that will be what she thinks a "normal" relationship is, unless she is shown that its not normal, by you taking her and leaving him :hug:

i hope this helps :hug:
 
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Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
Messages
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k well if he is violent
then the 7 year old is better off without having him in the house

its better to come from a broken home
than to live in one

:grouphug:
 
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Jenna1

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
5
Location
USA, Utah
Thanks everyone, any advice is appreciated!I just want to get over it and and forget like a bad dream. I've already consulted with local firms about paperwork for divorce, the amount of money that lawyers want is insane - 13000$ . Is there any ways i can save those money on college for my daughter instead of giving them to attorneys? I was looking on the official court website but it's not provide any information about papers that needed for divorce or what's the procedure. I also googled for divorce service in my city - is it okay to use third party firms for filling divorce papers? They claim that it would be much cheaper, but i'm afraid of giving my personal information to anyone. I'm tired of having a fights with my husband, even when it comes to divorce i have to decide everything and do all work by myself. I just want it to be over. I'm really glad that i've foind this forum, when i read what people are went through it's really gives me strength to move forward.
 
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mischief

mischief

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Messages
12,054
Location
The World
You might find this link to Utah organizations that provide free or low-cost legal services to victims of abuse and others who qualify useful: Legal Assistance
 
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Jenna1

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
5
Location
USA, Utah
The cheapest solution i've found is a government assistance program that help prepare different law documents. They charge registration fee - 20$ and provide you with list of papers for divorce. But they don't support electronic filing of document. I'll try to print them and fill by myself, and ask for a legal help afterwards, when i'm gonna have all of the documents that needed on my hands. Thank everyone for support again!
 
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Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Mar 19, 2019
Messages
3,205
Location
UK
The cheapest solution i've found is a government assistance program that help prepare different law documents. They charge registration fee - 20$ and provide you with list of papers for divorce. But they don't support electronic filing of document. I'll try to print them and fill by myself, and ask for a legal help afterwards, when i'm gonna have all of the documents that needed on my hands. Thank everyone for support again!
Jenna, I think the most important step is to get yourself and your daughter safely away from him - get separated. If things are bad with him now, they'll only get worse and more heated if you're pushing for divorce. Even if you have to stay with family temporarily - get yourselves out from under the same roof as your husband. :hug:
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,547
Location
Florida
Wow sounds like you are going through a lot Jenna. If you want something I know you will work hard to get it. A divorcee is not the final solution you have to allow him to visit your daughter when he is sober only. See if he comes around after the divorcee is final. This is a serious matter for you talk the time you need to fill out forms and just remember the process is slow but you do not have to live with him if you can afford other means. Lots of love and hugs
 
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