Going nowhere...

elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
135
Location
Kent
So today is one of those really depressing days where I feel as though my life is stuck in an eternal fixed position. I'm experiencing so many setbacks which is just destroying my mental health and making me feel as though my life is going nowhere at all; like everything's just a huge waste. I've been trying for a very long time to have a positive outlook on life but I find it so hard when I'm constantly met with so many negatives. The current thing on my mind is my driving test, which I've failed three times due to stupid mistakes and spent so much money on. The thought of how much money I've spent on lessons and tests is enough to make me feel sick. Now, due to my instructor who can never fit me in and the unreliable test centre, my next test has been cancelled by them three times and I've been charged for the rebookings which is so irritating. I'm so angry with them for pushing me back and pushing me back constantly because they want to go off on holiday all the time. Don't get me wrong, everyone's entitled to holiday, but it annoys me how my tests are getting cancelled because they want to go away for the fifth time this year (my instructor is away A LOT). I feel like I'm never going to pass my test and that they're just more than happy to keep taking money off of me without any consideration whatsoever. I know they need to make money obviously, but the amount they've been charging me is absolutely insane and it just feels like the biggest waste.

The thing is, if I don't get my license, I feel as though my life can't continue in a positive direction. If I don't drive, I won't be able to travel to and from work, and I'll have to keep relying on my parents all the time (who have been driving me up the wall lately). If I don't drive, I won't be able to move away from this town and meet new people, potentially even a new partner. If I don't drive, I'll spend the rest of my life relying on other people and being jealous of those who were able to actually get a driving test to pass in the first place. I know these all seem quite dramatic, but my parents definitely don't help. "You have to drive!" "You can't not drive!" "You won't have a life if you don't drive!". They can be so unsupportive sometimes and it really gets on my nerves when I'm trying so hard and spending all of my wages on something that seems to be pointless. I've been motivated to drive for so long but now I feel like I'm reaching the point where I'm really sick of it and just want to give up entirely. I'm almost more angry at the test people and the instructor for messing me about all the time. I have no days holiday left to do my test because they've messed me about so much and now I'll have to take days sick, which means less money in the bank. I honestly feel like the world is out to get me sometimes and it's so frustrating. Hardly anyone turned up to my 21st birthday party (and if they did they left really early), my friends and family always seem to forget I exist and I'm constantly being berated by others. I'm sorry this all sounds so negative I just really needed to get my thoughts out there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated x
 
L

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
3,106
Location
UK
Hey Ellie

I passed my test on the fourth attempt....and that was thirty years ago. Driving has afforded me incredible freedom and independence...so stay with the process until you pass...doesn't matter how long it takes. Driving will become as much second nature to you as breathing, I promise.

I kept failing tests because I was nervous. I would of failed the fourth test too - but I had Flu and woke up sooo late that morning, that there wasn't time to ring and cancel. I felt so bad that I was certain I wasn't going to pass - so I stopped worrying. I took my time..did everything slowly...even pulled the car over to blow my nose :D I nearly fainted when the Instructor said "Congratulations".

Take the pressure off of yourself - it is NOT the end of the World if you fail next time...or the next...because you WILL pass when you're ready. Just stay committed to the process :hug:
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
135
Location
Kent
Hey Ellie

I passed my test on the fourth attempt....and that was thirty years ago. Driving has afforded me incredible freedom and independence...so stay with the process until you pass...doesn't matter how long it takes. Driving will become as much second nature to you as breathing, I promise.

I kept failing tests because I was nervous. I would of failed the fourth test too - but I had Flu and woke up sooo late that morning, that there wasn't time to ring and cancel. I felt so bad that I was certain I wasn't going to pass - so I stopped worrying. I took my time..did everything slowly...even pulled the car over to blow my nose :D I nearly fainted when the Instructor said "Congratulations".

Take the pressure off of yourself - it is NOT the end of the World if you fail next time...or the next...because you WILL pass when you're ready. Just stay committed to the process :hug:
Hi there,

Thank you that's very reassuring :) I think the cancellations have definitely prolonged the feeling of dread I have every time I do the test. Part of me wishes I could just get up and go and do it now, because it's usually the build up that throws me off. It's definitely been a depressing couple of days for sure, even due to finding out about my ex moving into his new place that we were meant to get together, which definitely got me feeling down anyway. Sometimes I just feel very stuck in the same place, but I know things will get better eventually. I'm seeing my counsellor on Monday which is a few days away but I can manage until then :) Thank you for your kind words and reassurance xx
 
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