• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Going Crazy!

M

Marie816

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Dallas
I have BPD and I've struggled with relationships, self harm, anxiety, weight issues, depression, and wicked mood swings. I often feel unlovable, worthless, and like i will never live a normal life. I take a cocktail of medications for it. I'm constantly in my head and driving myself INSANE. I'd say about 95% of the time i feel like i'd be better off dead and at least 5-7 times a day i think of ways to kill myself. I go to therapy regularly, i exercise, do yoga, and lots of active things. I cant seem to get out of my head and stop feeling insane. I can feel it throughout my entire body not just my head. I often have out of body experiences as well.
Does anyone else feel like this or have had similar feelings, if so how are some ways you've dealt with this?
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
2,142
Location
Sheffiield
Welcome to the forums Marie!

I commend your activities like therapy, exercise and yoga, what you're doing is really great.

I'm sorry you're having trouble with BPD and the issues that come with that and I wish I could relate there but I'm just a voice hearer.

What I'm really interested in are your out-of-body experiences (OBE), can you tell me in as much detail as possible what it's like to have an OBE? I have my own theories on how it's possible but have never experienced one for myself.
 
M

Marie816

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Dallas
Welcome to the forums Marie!

I commend your activities like therapy, exercise and yoga, what you're doing is really great.

I'm sorry you're having trouble with BPD and the issues that come with that and I wish I could relate there but I'm just a voice hearer.

What I'm really interested in are your out-of-body experiences (OBE), can you tell me in as much detail as possible what it's like to have an OBE? I have my own theories on how it's possible but have never experienced one for myself.

So my therapist diagnosed me with split BPD (black and white personality) so i guess i have two personalities. When i'm experiencing an OBE i can vividly see myself as if i split into two people like if my ghost is watching my live self. I can see myself being reckless and being mean. No matter how hard i try to stop myself from doing these things i can't until the damage is done. Minutes even sometimes hours later ill have to fix the mess ive made. It's scary to see myself be such a messy monster and can't stop myself. Normally i am a very humble person. When im having an OBE i have tunnel vision, i get dizzy, and my body gets tingly.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
2,142
Location
Sheffiield
That's what being a voice hearer is like, having two personalities sharing the same body.

The only difference is my second personality talks to me just like any other human would albeit in my mind like where my own thoughts usually are but these thoughts are totally out of my control. I often liken it to Yin and Yang (black and white), he could even take control of my/our body and make a mess of things, one mess he got me into landed me in hospital for 9 days and diagnosed with psychosis. He is mean and stupid and I'm the complete opposite of him.
 
S

so sad

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2016
Messages
135
Hi

The one things that has helped me get out of my head is mindfulness. I did 12 months of DBT and mindfulness underpinned the whole process. I was very sceptical of it at first but learned that although it takes time and practice that its worth persevering. It gives you some space between your thoughts and helps you to see them as just thoughts and not facts.
Anything by Jon Zabat Zinn is good as he is the brains behind it. There is some stuff on youtube.
At first it does feel pointless - but it builds. Don't try anything for a long period of time - choose a 3 minute one to start with and just do them regularly. Some exercises are based on breathing, some sound, some sights, lots of different things and it might take a while to find which type suits you.
good luck x
 
Top