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Going crazy

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Hail

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Omg nina, you are suffering so much.
What medication are you taking? Dont they help at all?
 
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Nina998

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Mar 31, 2019
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I am on Lithium 900mg and Quetiapine 600mg. Also taking meds for anxiety. Got back from psych ward in March. Things were fine for three months. And now this again.
 
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Hail

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Those are high doses.. You maybe need to change the medication if they dont wok anymore.
 
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Hail

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Cant you go to emergency? Or do you think you can wait until your next appointment?
 
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Nina998

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I'm waiting for my appointment. I've got three kids to look after when my husband is working. So, it's not that simple.
 
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goodgollymiss

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406
I hope that you feel better hugs
 
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Nina998

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I am prepared to go to psych ward at July 15th when I have the appointment.
 
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Nina998

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Finland
Tomorrow is the cruise with my best friend. At least one thing to look at and wait for. I am not thrilled though. So much effort to fake smile and laugh. I am going to drink. That will make everything better for a while. The morning after will be hard. Alcohol gonna make my mood even worse. But I kinda need that break whether it's wise or not.
 
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Nina998

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I feel restless and want to go shopping again. And coffee tastes so good this morning.

This is not good. Could be hypomania.
 
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Nina998

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I've got a stupid problem. I have some wounds that are not healing. I made a mistake. Stupid mistake. But I can't stop.
 
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Nina998

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Mar 31, 2019
Messages
128
Location
Finland
I feel so alone with this depression. Some people know I am going through this again but I can't talk to them. At the same time I am alienating myself from other people because I don't want to see anybody.

I need to be heard because I hurt so much. Writing these words feels meaningless. Why am I writing when there is no point? Everything is pointless and meaningless.

Feels like I am screaming in an empty room.
 
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Hail

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Jun 3, 2019
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Sorry you are feeling this way, hope things will improve soon.
Talk to your doctor about everything, maybe she or he will give you some sessions with a psychologist. Family a d friends dont always understand this problems or you can not be open to them about the way you are feeling from many reasons.
 
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Nina998

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Mar 31, 2019
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Finland
I hope my new doctor is good. One week to go before appointment. I am on a waiting list to a short therapy. It's a free 20 meetings therapy with psychologist. My illness prevents me from a long therapy. I am constantly too ill for a therapy so I think short therapy is the way to go. I am hoping it starts in autumn.

Today I hopefully can forget this all. It's the cruise day. It means I will drink too much because that's the only way I can fake smile or laugh. Things will probably get worse after this. If I am not well I usually crash after having to keep it together and fake fun. And we all know alcohol makes it worse.

Happy cruise to me.
 
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Nina998

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Mar 31, 2019
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Location
Finland
Well this wasn't easy. I am drunk for sure but having fun was a full time Job. I am waisted. I feel like I need to be at psych ward in order to get my life back together.
 
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