Going back to work next week and feel stuck and not moving forward

B

Bazzer

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Oct 30, 2018
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Ashford Kent
#1
Hi all

Been off work with anxiety and depression for 8 weeks and returning to work next week. I do feel better than when I was first off and definitely on the road to recovery but in the last two to three weeks I feel I have not moved any further along. I seem to be stuck in this place were I an OK ish. Started CBT counciling two weeks ago and taking the top dose I can get of duluxine and 400grms of Pregabalin.

My concern is I have little to no motivation and keep thinking I can not be bothered what is the point. I force myself everyday to do something mainly housework and cooking dinner etc. but this is a smoke screen to prove to my wife and family that I am getting better.

With work I need to go back they have been very supportive but I know it is only a process they follow they don't truly care they are just afraid that they may have to pay me off or try and get rid of me at a later stage.

Has any of you had this and managed to get over this hurdle ! I am hoping that going back to work with a phased return will help so keen to know of any coping methods or things I can do to make a change for the better

:scratch
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#2
Alright Bazzer. It's always hard to go back to work after a break, especially when you are poorly.

You do not have to work if you really don't want to, but if you do, you can always work on changing jobs or careers.

Being on out of work benefits is a poisoned chalice. I had such bad anxiety when I was doing it. Now I am working and I have swapped my old problems for new problems, but I do feel a glimmer of hope.
 
B

Bazzer

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#3
Hiya Burt

Hope u are feeling Ok

I do want to change my job and career but need to go back to work first so I can then try and look for something different.

Can not afford to give up my current job but small steps to hopefully make a more positive future

Had a few up and downs this week but I suppose that is expected

Baz
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#4
Hiya Burt

Hope u are feeling Ok

I do want to change my job and career but need to go back to work first so I can then try and look for something different.

Can not afford to give up my current job but small steps to hopefully make a more positive future

Had a few up and downs this week but I suppose that is expected

Baz
I am feeling fine. It is Thursday, almost the weekend.

Once you restart you will get back into work mode again.

I find work hard, but I want to keep at it because I am in control of my future.

I need to be patient and my job will become easier, like anything.
 
B

Bazzer

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#5
I agree Burt all I would say is that if you are struggling tell them at work as they have to make adjustments and have a duty of care to look after you. I didn’t and kept going till I burnt myself out. I wish you all the best and hope you do get to where you want to be.

I will let you know how I will get on !!!!!!!!!!
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#6
I agree Burt all I would say is that if you are struggling tell them at work as they have to make adjustments and have a duty of care to look after you. I didn’t and kept going till I burnt myself out. I wish you all the best and hope you do get to where you want to be.

I will let you know how I will get on !!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I think in this job, I have to keep quiet. i am too scared to talk about it. You are right in what you say, I just can't do it. If the shit really hit the fan, I would probably bring it up. But at the minute, boss is happy with my progress so will keep going. I don't want to feel I am disabled - I want a bright future.

I will be waiting to hear how you get on baz
 
N

niclear0093

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#7
Hi

Dang! I am so sorry. Have you figured out why you feel so stuck, why you have no motivation? I know that is not an easy thing to deal with. Do you like your job? I am praying for you!
 
B

Bazzer

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#8
No I haven’t figured it out yet wish I could, I like the job it’s some of the people I work with that are the problem. I think I feel trapped and can see no way out and if I did change job I am worried that I will not be able to cope. It’s like a vicious circle. Hopefully if I can keep strong and push through I will be able to get to a happy place. Although I should be happy have a wonderful wife and kids to be proud of and a nice house and car etc.. and I am still wanting approval and be appreciated !!!! Ahhhhhh makes me think I am just mad.
 
B

Bazzer

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#9
well back to work and it is not as bad as I thought I have joined the gym and it has really helped. I never thought it would make that much of a difference. If you have not tried excising I would give it a go. I hate going but once I have been, it really makes you energetic and feels like you have achieved something. Met up with a really good friend that I have not seen for a while which was great and really enjoyed the time we spent together, probably the most positive week I have had in a long while, and I thought it would be a bad week. Let’s hope this can continue !!!!
 
I

Isildore

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#10
I took quite a few sick days, but did not take leave. I wonder if it would have been better to take time off. I don't think even quitting work would have mattered at the worst point. I felt pretty bad no matter if I was on the couch all day. Of course, being at work & having to do stuff created a whole new level of stress. However, my kids were in college & the unpleasantness of the GAD and being at work, or having to do anything more than lay on couch, forced me to keep trying medical options until I found a great doctor. Effexor seemed to do the trick. Now I'm back to the baseline stuff I had before GAD got really bad - some depression, negativity, being uncharitable with people, etc.. However, I don't feel ambient anxiety all the time. Sometimes I can really relax. What's left seems to be "me".

I am appreciative to my employer for being supportive. Sometimes I think my family did not understand & were not all that supportive. Of course, living with someone in a state like that cannot be easy. Trying to work through all that.