• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Going back to city living

Darwin the fish

Darwin the fish

Active member
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Messages
32
Location
UK
I'd always been desperate to leave the small seaside town I'd been living in. It was 'boring', full of people with no aspirations, and I felt unmotivated and trapped.

I eventually moved to London, where I ended up living for almost 10 years. It was hard, but I grew to enjoy it until the pandemic hit and I found myself trapped (again) in a tiny flat, with little to do but wander the streets once a day.

I've always had anxiety issues, so like many, multiple lockdowns and financial stresses really hit me hard. I decided I couldn't take it anymore, packed up and left to come and stay with family while I get myself 'sorted out'.

I'd been working from home throughout the pandemic, so I actually still have a job in London... although I have no intention of going back to London, it is not realistic to think I can commute from where I am now, so I'm now looking for somewhere in the nearby city, from which I can reach London within 2-3 hours by a single train or coach (I don't drive).

The thing is, I'm currently living by the sea. I go for beach walks almost every day. My family own an amazing dog. It's quiet here, I'm surrounded by birds and see seals swimming in the sea...

I can't stay here forever, but I'm scared of going back to city life - even if it isn't London, it will still be busier, less nature and more people. I'm nervous, the thought of it is starting to make me feel quite sick... I don't know if I will cope, I'm not sure I even want to but I feel like I have no choice..
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hi there it sounds wonderful where you are now. I’m sorry you will have to go back to the city. I wonder if you could find some adaptations there to bring more serenity to your city life experience. Like taking a yoga class or a class in Qi Gong. Maybe getting a fitness membership at a place with a pool so you could do some swimming. I’m thinking things you could do to relax and take a bit of the calm you are experiencing there and making it available to yourself in the city. xo, j
 
Darwin the fish

Darwin the fish

Active member
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Messages
32
Location
UK
Edinburgh, Leeds, Manchester? Take your pick!
Thank you for your suggestions, but perhaps my message was unclear. I already have a city in mind, it's close to my hometown but also within reach of London so I (hopefully) don't have to quit my job... but my concern is how going back to any kind of city life is going to affect my mental health when I've spent the last few months living in peaceful surroundings..

I wondered whether anyone had experienced anything similar during the pandemic, such as leaving London but potentially having to go back because of work commitments etc..
 
Darwin the fish

Darwin the fish

Active member
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Messages
32
Location
UK
Hi there it sounds wonderful where you are now. I’m sorry you will have to go back to the city. I wonder if you could find some adaptations there to bring more serenity to your city life experience. Like taking a yoga class or a class in Qi Gong. Maybe getting a fitness membership at a place with a pool so you could do some swimming. I’m thinking things you could do to relax and take a bit of the calm you are experiencing there and making it available to yourself in the city. xo, j
Thank you Jess. I did enjoy yoga in the past, so trying to get back into it could be a help.

I also used to keep a lot of houseplants, and had a lovely 'green corner' which was like my mini sanctuary. Unfortunately when I moved into a new place last year, most of them died :(

Since moving in with family, I've managed to build up a collection which I plan to take with me, so I hope they will all be able to survive the next place. In fact, I will be seeking somewhere with the right conditions for plants because I do find they help a lot..
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
45
Location
Uk
Do you NEED to go back to the city? Is there a possibility you could stay where you are, by the sea? (Which sounds lovely by the way!)
 
Darwin the fish

Darwin the fish

Active member
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Messages
32
Location
UK
Do you NEED to go back to the city? Is there a possibility you could stay where you are, by the sea? (Which sounds lovely by the way!)
As lovely as it would be to stay close to the sea, realistically it would just be too difficult to get to and from London on days when I have to go into the office from where I am now. I don't drive and trains/buses to the city, where I'd have to change to take another train, are quite infrequent.

Whereas, if I live close enough to the train station in the city, I can get to London within 2 and a half hours and by a single train. It'll be a challenge, but rather that and be closer to my family and friends, than go back to London..

I'm certainly not rushing to move right now, but I will have to eventually. That's why, while others are rejoicing about Boris and his roadmap, the idea of 'normality' and having to start physically going into work again fills me with dread..
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
45
Location
Uk
As lovely as it would be to stay close to the sea, realistically it would just be too difficult to get to and from London on days when I have to go into the office from where I am now. I don't drive and trains/buses to the city, where I'd have to change to take another train, are quite infrequent.

Whereas, if I live close enough to the train station in the city, I can get to London within 2 and a half hours and by a single train. It'll be a challenge, but rather that and be closer to my family and friends, than go back to London..

I'm certainly not rushing to move right now, but I will have to eventually. That's why, while others are rejoicing about Boris and his roadmap, the idea of 'normality' and having to start physically going into work again fills me with dread..
That sounds sensible, and hopefully doable.

Yes ... completely agree about the roadmap. I don’t want to go back into work. Hopefully for us it’ll be a choice, or infrequent. I’m much happier working from home and avoiding the commute/social situations.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
J What's going to work to stop alcohol and this awful life Anxiety Forum 11
G Scared of going insane Anxiety Forum 14
R I unexpectedly found myself without a therapist and my symptoms are going out of control Anxiety Forum 5
MrBond007 Fear of going bald when I am older. Anxiety Forum 9
M Going Crazy Symptom Anxiety Forum 1
I Anyone had issues going down from Sertraline 100mg to 50mg? Anxiety Forum 5
A Fear that my life is going to go wrong Anxiety Forum 2
Q Anxiety when going outside/leaving the house Anxiety Forum 3
Carol1952 think I am going outside i need to Anxiety Forum 17
Mrs Tiggywinkle I’m convinced something bad is going to happen. Anxiety Forum 26
H Im going to speak with a doctor Anxiety Forum 4
D I feel like a child, frustrated that things are not going my way... Anxiety Forum 14
B anxious my boyfriend is going to leave me once i start getting old looking Anxiety Forum 7
L Horrible anxiety... Going up on my benzo dose?? Anxiety Forum 3
E I’m scared someone is going to drug me Anxiety Forum 3
Carol1952 shaky legs I feel like I am going to fall.Is this from anxieties? Anxiety Forum 3
Carol1952 I am feeling very anxious about my grandchildren going back to school Anxiety Forum 2
S Anxious that my boyfriend is going to leave me Anxiety Forum 3
J going outside Anxiety Forum 5
L .5 mg Klonopin a day going through withdrawal! Anxiety Forum 1
H Can't sleep and in another city, anxietys so bad Anxiety Forum 3
E Anxiety around noise associated with student living. Anxiety Forum 3
N Living In Fear Anxiety Forum 8
W Overthinking and anxiety's stopping me from living my life, what do i do, i'm lost Anxiety Forum 6
Sash1 Pro's and Con's of living alone with Mental Health........Or!!!! Anxiety Forum 10
S Unwanted guess living in my brain! Anxiety Forum 15
P Issue with my friend and living together Anxiety Forum 1

Similar threads

Top