Goals for the new year and current mixed state

[butterflykisses]

I feel so miserable. So depressed and feeling suicidal but also agitated, irritable, annoyed and euphoric all at the same time. It’s like I can’t escape myself and I just want to run away from everything. It’s so annoying.
I was first depressed but then I tried to bring on hypomania by using caffeine, mood light, supplements, skipping medication etc. because I enjoy the productivity that comes with it. But the depression never left and now I just feel terrible.
My main goal for the new year is to never skip medication and to start actually working on mood stability. I would actually be so much more productive that way because I wouldn’t be so easily distracted an wouldn’t be so sleep deprived so I could do a lot better quality of work. Anyone relate? I have a lot of hope for this year.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

keep your life boring and flat

sleep at the exact same time every night, and put effort into making your sleep setup as good as possible

take magnesium at night and vit. D in morning always

 

[butterflykisses]

keep your life boring and flat

sleep at the exact same time every night, and put effort into making your sleep setup as good as possible

take magnesium at night and vit. D in morning always

Boring and flat? Are you telling me that’s how my life will be if I prevent mood episodes? That’s what I’ve thought a lot during hypomania. I remember being in class and feeling so agitated and annoyed that everyone else was “normal”. I’m like “why doesn’t anyone else have amazing goals and they are just boring. This normal energy is just boring and annoying”. It felt frustrating to me. But really I was never as productive as I thought I was and got way too easily distracted with so many projects that never got done. I’m going to embrace this mania for now but then after that I really do want to find some stability.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

Boring and flat? Are you telling me that’s how my life will be if I prevent mood episodes? That’s what I’ve thought a lot during hypomania. I remember being in class and feeling so agitated and annoyed that everyone else was “normal”. I’m like “why doesn’t anyone else have amazing goals and they are just boring. This normal energy is just boring and annoying”. It felt frustrating to me. But really I was never as productive as I thought I was and got way too easily distracted with so many projects that never got done. I’m going to embrace this mania for now but then after that I really do want to find some stability.

keep your life boring and flat means avoid triggers

keep the external even so it will help the brain stay more even

along with the other suggestions i said

 

[chess_player]

Boring and flat? Are you telling me that’s how my life will be if I prevent mood episodes? That’s what I’ve thought a lot during hypomania. I remember being in class and feeling so agitated and annoyed that everyone else was “normal”. I’m like “why doesn’t anyone else have amazing goals and they are just boring. This normal energy is just boring and annoying”. It felt frustrating to me. But really I was never as productive as I thought I was and got way too easily distracted with so many projects that never got done. I’m going to embrace this mania for now but then after that I really do want to find some stability.

I would caution against "embracing this mania"... generally good things won't come from that. I also worry sometimes about things being boring when I'm in a "balanced" state but trust me, it's much better for yourself and others when things are like that. Remember that you don't have to do something amazing to live a good and happy life, you just have to care about yourself and others and be happy with the things you have.
All the best,
CP

 

[butterflykisses]

I would caution against "embracing this mania"... generally good things won't come from that. I also worry sometimes about things being boring when I'm in a "balanced" state but trust me, it's much better for yourself and others when things are like that. Remember that you don't have to do something amazing to live a good and happy life, you just have to care about yourself and others and be happy with the things you have.
All the best,
CP

I agree. I have bipolar II so I never reach full mania. And I enjoy hypomania for awhile until I become way too sleep deprived and irritable and not a fun person to be around. This year I’m really trying to actually take steps towards stability and stop trying to stay in this hypomania because it isn’t exactly maintainable or healthy.