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Girlfriend with bad OCD

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CzarnyLis

Member
Joined
May 24, 2020
Messages
6
Location
UK
Hello. My girlfriend has been struggling with OCD most of her life, recently though it's become a lot worse and it's affecting her massively. It's mostly intrusive thoughts that attach to quite random things, it could be to do with something I said for example or she walks passed something and she needs to go to look or something terrible will happen to her. I try my best to not conform to her intrusive thoughts and i challenge as best I can for someone who hasn't had experience with other than a brief lecture I had on it.

She's desperate to get some ERP therapy as CBT doesn't seem to work much and drugs are pretty undesirable, she's on a low dose now and she doesn't like it and I've been on the same drug and dosage and I agree that it's pretty nasty. There isn't much in the way of ERP therapists where we live as it's very secluded and obviously with COVID-19 it's more difficult to arrange things and find therapists and it's a general nightmare for her OCD.

I want to help her as best I can but our thought processes in dealing with things are very different and it's hard to get her out of habits she's had for so many years or to encourage her to break them. I don't want to just give her emotional support but give her solutions because she doesn't seem to have enough of them at the moment. I support her when I can but being so far apart is making it hard.

She also doesn't get the solutions enough from those around, they seem to just accommodate for her behaviours, or from what I can tell anyway.

Anyway I was just asking for some advice from those of you who may experienced OCD or know someone with it and how to help them properly.

Many thanks.
 
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karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
603
hey i used to have bad OCD in my twenties.....it drove me round the twist.....to me it was in a sense that OCD's happened as i had an underlying fear of social anxiety......i used to have to follow checking rituals whenever i was to leave my house....it was in a sense me trying to exert some control over my life

if i didnt obey the OCD checking ritual, my mood would crash and i would be very tense

anyway its good that you support your girlfriend, keep doing that and be understanding, by the way is exposure therapy helping
 
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CzarnyLis

Member
Joined
May 24, 2020
Messages
6
Location
UK
She hasn't had any because it's too expensive and there aren't many therapists who do that where we live. Her OCD is giving her intrusive thoughts about death or being ill, her worst fears, If she won't do this compulsion then something bad will happen.

The thing is I can think of two times she hasn't done her compulsions, since i've been with her that is and at the current rate her condition will only get worse and I'm not sure what I can do.
Being supportive is good and all but without her getting any proper help then all I'm doing is comforting her if she feels bad about doing a compulsion or she does something but tells me it's happening and we talk through her thought process but she does it anyway. The compulsions are very often about important life decisions and I fear if she doesn't get help quickly or the right way then she won't be able to make any decisions ever.
 
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karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
603
i live in ireland and thehealth system is pretty much the same as the NHS ...... i get all my healthcare for free in the public system ......i see a psychiatrist once a month, i see a psychologist once a week, and i have regular contact with a CPN (community psych nurse) and a social worker and a OT (occupational therapist) and all thsi is free to me,..... i know its the same in the UK ....you acn access all this treatment for free. Look in to it
 
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CzarnyLis

Member
Joined
May 24, 2020
Messages
6
Location
UK
Thanks. She is in touch with a community mental health team but they are being very slow to do anything with her and in about 6 months she's had 2 phone calls and they didn't seem very thoughtful of her situation. Is there much that I can do specifically to help more? Because sometimes I feel I make her worse. And how long did it take for you to get help from the CMHT?
 
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karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
603
im 44 and have been seeing a psychiatrist since i was 22....i was in the private sector for about 11 yrs but feel its not as good as what you can get for free in the public system,......as i said i have free access to many carers....and also there is no resentment towards the team as im getting it for free.....as i said when i was in the private system, i had to pay €150 for a 20 min session and saw no improvements or results forthcoming....its best togo the public system as you get loads for free.....hope this helps
 
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CzarnyLis

Member
Joined
May 24, 2020
Messages
6
Location
UK
Thank you. This has given a bit more perspective. I'll definitely try and help her be patient with the help she could get.
 
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