Girlfriend Recently Started Hearing Voices and Seeing Things

C

concernedboyfriend

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
6
#1
Hey all!

So I just found out my girlfriend of 6 months has been hearing voices. She admitted this to me yesterday. A little background of her is she has a history of depression and suicide attempts. She's 18 and I'm 19. I see her once per week and things have been a little rocky lately.

She says that she constantly hears voices and, on occasion, will see things. She said the voices are most whispers, but sometimes overwhelming screams. Upon further questions, she stated that when she was walking her dog a week ago, she couldn't think straight because they were screaming at her so loudly.

The voices tell her to harm herself and others. I asked a lot of questions–probably too many–and got a pretty comprehensive profile of the voices. She will mostly hear men in their 20's whispering to her. They will tell her to harm herself, her friends, strangers, but never me. She said the voices have never even mentioned me. In addition to the voices, she also will see things. When she turns a corner, she will see a figure standing by her or down a hall. She said the figures she sees aren't as bad as her voices.

I advised her to tell her parents, but she said no, and they would think she is crazy. She refuses to seek any help about this. I am not a therapist. I have experience with loved-ones who have self-harmed or attempted suicide, but never hearing voices. I am concerned for her well-being and sanity. What do I do? Does anyone with experience in this have some light they could shed on me?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
41,826
Location
Lancashire
#2
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. I would say that you should see yourself as a befriender, someone she can talk to about her experiences. You can't give lots of advice on this. But hearing voices, in and of itself, doesn't mean she is schizophrenic - see above the Hearing Voices section which has Loads of good help in it.

The fact they make her harm herself is a worry, and I'm not sure what she means by hurting others, which could be worrying. But thinking of hurting others isn't the same as doing it. Depression is a strange beast. Believe it or not, depression can do this too. Its more than just feeling low and desperate, but people can get these symptoms too. You can try to encourage her to see a GP and ask for help there. She needs to be reassured that she doesn't have to tell her parents anything at all.

She is probably afraid she will be put in a mental hospital, but in fact there aren't any beds and they don't do that except in extreme circumstances. The community system would be the ones to help her more, although the Crisis Team aren't any good in most places. But there is a system set up to help people quickly with their first experiences of this type. I forget what its called. She is probably afraid that she is going "mad" and she needs to know that isn't the case at all probably.

So reassure her that she isn't necessarily "mad", she isn't likely to be put in a mental hospital, that it can be helped, and that you are there to listen but can only suggest she sees someone to help her more. That said, the docs will want to put her on meds, and maybe anti depressants may well help (I think they can although some on here don't think this). But remind her, she can always negotiate her treatment and doesn't have to accept it willy nilly if you disagrees with it.

There are Hearing Voices groups in many places nowadays and people there can really help her. She might need you to go with her for moral support initially if you are up to doing this. This is a lot to ask of you at 19, I know, so don't worry if you don't think you can do this, but do look at the Hearing Voices section and suggest some of that to her. You could write a list for her.
 
E

Eigau

Guest
#3
Hi there, I am a voice hearer to. I have learned to live with the voices in relative peace. It can be a balancing act, but I have a fairly good support network.

It's really important that she does not try to do this on her own, if this is her first time experience with voice hearing, she will need more experienced voice hearers to help her through the period.

So we have:
Men in their 20's
Whisperers
Shouters
Edit: Telling her to harm herself and others

In my opinion, depending on how frequently the shouters occur, I would try to address them first. But from what you've said it's mostly the whisperers at the moment. Can you tell us more about the content of what the whisperers talk about? Do they talk at her, about her or with her? How complex are their sentences?
 
Last edited:
C

concernedboyfriend

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
6
#4
Calypso, thank you for the advice. As for telling her to hurt others, they are violent commands. She said it's more violent then them telling her to randomly hit someone. She wouldn't go into detail.

Te.reo.orooro, she is very vague with the details about the voices. She doesn’t like me to ask specific questions; she shuts down. I asked about the content, she said she tries not to focus on them. I asked the exact question about to her, about her, or both–she said all of them. Mostly to her. She wouldn’t tell me how complex the sentences were.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
100
Location
UK
#5
Hi concernedboyfriend,

Your friend needs to see a doctor. Were I in your position, I would do my best to see that she had a doctor oversee her. This is because she is suffering and that she is at risk of harming an other or herself.
 
C

concernedboyfriend

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
6
#6
I have told her that, but to no avail. I'm not going to force her, and I'm not about to make threats to get her to either.
 
E

Eigau

Guest
#7
Thanks C. Voice hearing and visual imagery can be pretty intense. But a pattern of holding things in and ignoring them can be unhealthy. There are many perspectives on voice hearing, but I'll try to stick to just one perspective.

In my opinion, ignoring voices can make them more intense. This is because voices can be an expression of the subconscious. Something has been held in for a long time and now it is coming out as voices. Without asking her, would you know of any stressful event that has occurred in the last 6 months?
 
C

concernedboyfriend

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
6
#8
My gut instinct was that this was a response to stress, but I couldn't think of anything.
The only thing I suspect is a far shot that I cannot ask her.
On Halloween, we both went up to a state university to party. We stayed with separate friends and went to separate parties. One night she got very, very drunk and was puking the whole night. She can't remember pieces of that night, but she knows she slept in a frat house for a few hours. I suspected sexual assault because of how she acted when I asked questions about that night.
A previous gf of mine was the victim of sexual assault(rape)while we were dating, and my current gf displays the same signs. Maybe I'm seeing what I don't want to see, but I can't tell anymore.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
100
Location
UK
#9
...Maybe I'm seeing what I don't want to see, but I can't tell anymore.
A third person is needed to help her. I don't suggest that you threaten her. Be rational with her and explain that her condition is not as it should be. (We all know what is healthy and what is pathological). A doctor is qualified to deal with the matter of your concerns.
 
C

concernedboyfriend

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
6
#10
By threaten, I meant "Go to a doctor or I'll break up with you." One of my friends suggested that, and I almost outright smacked him.
I agree with the doctor being needed.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
100
Location
UK
#11
Your friend was concerned for you and her. Talk with her (your girlfriend) gently and privately. You could even show her this discussion. You mean well, but she is in need. Talk yourself to a doctor and perhaps she/he may guide you.
 
Last edited:
N

natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
11,020
#12
HI, I'm Natalie,


Though I never have been in this position, that your girlfriend seems to be in, relating I think you said if I remember rightly but do correct me if I'm wrong, depression, and going down hill on that side of things, however, in the respects of hearing voices and also seeing things, if I could give you a tip, maybe the Crisis Support Team, could be contacted, and explain to them what's going, on, and then maybe a community Psycatatry Docto (sorry, I can never spell that word) could then, assess, and get to the routing of the cause delicately, and then check and place her on medication, and review her off, every so often, or frequently in this cruical case. This doesn't sound healthy to me, and does need I also feel, in agreement, very urgent professional mental health help, adn this is where the Crisis Team can come into affect, to initially assess her, and arrange for a p-doctor to be seeing her. Off course, and I do feel for you, this isn't going to be easy, I would like to ordinarily suggest tips how I manage my voice hearing and that I am on medication, but I do not feel this is the occasion for that, she's in a bad way, and I do agree, let her see this discussion, and if she can be able to read through, and realise, that she does need urgent mental health medical assistance.




Natalie.
 
D

Deliah

Guest
#13
She needs some help. I have voices and a very visual mind. I manage to look after myself without meds. Please take a look at Rufus May's website and Eleanor Longdens TED talk. There are other ways which can be explore apart from medication. It is possible to recover. love to you D x